things i need to learn - a humble list
Dear God,
It is a common belief that learning, true learning does not take place
Without mistakes made along the way
I’ve made my fair share,
And there’s a lot of realisations I’ve come to today
I need to learn,
How to keep my calm and breathe
I need to learn,
To “get a grip of myself” even when it feels as though the walls are caving in
I need to learn,
To know when to stop before I push things too far
I need to learn,
To not let temporary emotions cultivate into permanent scars
I need to learn,
That if i can forgive others so easily, I should myself
I need to learn,
That it is I, I have to live with, and not them
I need to learn,
When only I can help myself, and when to ask for help
I need to learn,
To not just be there for others, but also for myself
I need to learn
To tend to my breaking heart without hurting my body
I need to learn,
How to train my heart to not give itself away so easily
I need to learn,
To acknowledge my flaws and work on them at every turn
I need to learn,
That inspite of them, it doesn’t help to beat myself up
I need to learn,
When to hold on, but more importantly when to let go
I need to learn
To make peace with the fact that things with happen at their natural flow
I need to learn,
That I am not a catalyst so its not upto me to speed things up
I need to learn,
That my meddling can cause good things to faster be done
I need to learn,
To care, but to care with caution
I need to learn,
That while I should think things through, overthinking is not the solution
I need to learn,
To sometimes just to hit pause, take a beat and listen
I need to learn,
To stop refuting things just because they don’t align with what I believe in
I need to learn,
Where the line draws itself between trying and trying too hard
I need to learn,
To think twice of the words I choose to roll out my tongue
I need to learn,
That even if my heart was in the right place my words do have effect
I need to learn,
To not do things that will make me regret, in retrospect
There is but so much I have yet to learn,
To have patience for the things I yearn.
But most importantly I need to learn
That the word love should not only be used on others but also myself
I need to learn,
That my love for others will not keep me
going bc in the end I have only myself
I need to learn,
that to make it out of this harsh cruel world there is but one I need to love without regrets
I need to learn,
How to love, how to fall in love with myself.
Copyright ©
Sanika Abedin
|