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fear of the outside
fear of the outside
I lifted my glass of red wine towards the lamplight
I didn't see a romantic dream, but a dirty glass
full of fat finger marks and I could not blame the barman
I should have been an actor a friend of mine was
an actor said I had the talent
we were rehearsing a play, but looking at the empty seat
and seeing them full of leering people, I was consumed
with lamplight fear.
My friend loved his craft, but he never made it to the West End
but I saw him play Lesly Howard in a movie made in locally
he was a perfect actor
This is about agoraphobia which has blighted my life and
I have disappointed many promising to appear in public
not showing up blaming a sudden illness
my actor friend swore he could cure me, a nonspeaking role
in his latest play, alas he died.
My wife has gone to the cinema, I'm looking after the cat
Copyright ©
Jan Hansen
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