Incessant flagellation no longer torments nor assails psyche of mine
Incessant flagellation no longer torments nor assails psyche of mine...
until courtesy amazing grace interceded
in the doggone guise
of Canis lupus familiaris
unwittingly timely deliverance
videre licet as an unconditionally loving
emotional support animal.
Emotional and financial crucifixion
synonymous with being
figuratively nailed to the cross
or flayed into a bloody pulp,
which damning punishment
linkedin to joint checking account
being sucked dry as an arid desert
by a criminal hopefully
he/she gets their comeuppance
for usurper(s)
of our joint checking account funds
whose activity at an ATM machine
located at West Ridge Street Lansford Pa
helped her/himself exuding glee
and cashed out monies
subsequently accruing
an attached surcharge of three dollars
plus an overdraft fee of $35.00,
which duplicated transactions
for $203.50, $303.50
occurred on the following days:
May 14th, 15th, and 16th, 2025,
and if any unsuspecting observer
witnessed she/he walking
with stuffed pockets bulging with cash
please inform me
as soon as possible
so just desserts
can be meted out
not because I consider myself vindictive,
but yours truly (me)
experienced financial hardship,
which crisis nearly
sent me to the poor house
and/or a mental state hospital.
Courtesy intercession
re: fluke of the universe
turned the figurative
tables on miscreant
punishing series of unfortunate events
rescinded at the eleventh hour
the reprieve granted
courtesy lenient judge
who mistook me for a sinner
in the hands of an angry dog,
which accursed fate of mine unexpectedly
blessed with good luck
from the aforementioned canine
actually a bank dick in disguise,
he took me under his paw
and made no bones
about offering me accommodations
good and plenty of room
spacious doghouse despite puppies galore,
who romped around the greensward
becoming excellent at sports
climbing, frolicking,
and jumping over hurdles
(trained by none other than
the celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County)
surrounding the custom built dog house,
which domicile more like a mansion.
Sirius lee, I
(an infinitesimal speck in the cosmos –
veritably insignificant in the schema of things,
and buzzfeeding with a healthy helping
of existential nihilism),
nevertheless thank my lucky stars
for unseen small medium forces at large
that righted a wrong,
and to summarily recap
the debacle triggering a major crisis
with entrusted finances,
which found one Beatle browed,
foo fighting beastie boy
descending into the figurative
abysmal pit of despair
with a horrific prospect of becoming homeless
along with the missus
after an unbeknownst person
exhibited chutzpah and moxie
expunged, cashed out, and accessed
without sense and sensibilities every red cent
prompting me, a Citizen Banker
to rage against the machine
rivaling the wrath of King Kong
when he pounds his chest and bellows.
Copyright ©
Matthew Harris
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