Protectants Poems

Looking Out

I wish they all could see the darkness I have built up inside of me.
I wish they could see the scared and broken girl who hides within me.
Everyday I push her down,
push down the feelings that overwhelm my soul.
I can't let them get to me, I can't.
I've created an illusion that I show to the world.
An illusion that if were to break, 
my heart would shake. 
But day by day, I feel this entity, 
this wounded girl climbing out, 
crawling her way to freedom. 
She's just like any other girl who's in pain.
She just wants relief.
She doesn't want to go around anymore,
burying herself in the happiness that's become a mask.
She doesn't want to smile or laugh because she knows they are protectants from the pain.
Yet, it's almost as if it's all she can do.
Hide among all the pain.
Among all the happiness that's truly a lie.
Because she doesn't want the world to know.
She's supposed to be the strong one,
the happy one.
Not the broken down one that is still waiting to be fixed.
So I'll hide her,
hide her forever,
hide her still.
The world doesn't need to know the lies behind all this beauty,
the world doesn't need to know who's looking out.