Reality check... I’ve noticed the
Elastic waistband has
Started to get even tighter on my wife's pants ....
Only I daren't suggest she gives up candy -
Lets just say if she doesn't get her daily ‘ fix’ she turns
Uglier than the incredible hulk!
Take it from me when she gets PMT
It’s like walking on eggshells, so yet again my
Only option is to say
Nothing...
So my resolution is to survive her mood swings for another year!
Resolutions contest Judged 02/16/20
FICTION POEM FOR CONTEST
02/06/20
Categories:
pmt, body, candy, new year,
Form: Acrostic
Tax me because I'm a woman
Tax me because I bleed
Make me pay more tax than men
Pay for their unused seed
My life is hard enough
Without you taxing my menstrual flow
A monthly period of blood
A period of mess below
Is a towel a luxury?
According to government it is
But it only affects the Her's
It don't affect the His
What happens when I have no means or cash?
To pay this unequal uneven tax
When I can't afford a tampon or pad
These are everyday facts
This is without the sadness of PMT or PMS
Man has no idea of the pain or the bloody stress
Why would you tax a woman just for being her?
How do you tax a towel that woman is forced to wear?
This taxation is way out of line, unjust and morally wrong
Its time to end this crippling tax
Menstruation's been exploited way too long!
Categories:
pmt, body, for her, men,
Form: Rhyme
There are women who feel a strong need
To nag men until their ears bleed
In a war of attrition
With relentless petition
Is a cruel way to make men concede
Men wish for a life of peace
But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease
Men will just say
It's the female DNA
That must out in its need for release
We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag
Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag'
But men get on our nerves
When you paw at our curves
Men should give up and wave the white flag
We can suffer from bad PMT,
Become ogres that men want to flee
We scream and we shout
Say we’ll throw you out
But for some reason you wont let us be
Better by far, we should try this next time
It's effective and will prove sublime
By wearing earplugs
In each of our lugs
We'll be laughing whilst nagging - in mime
Laughing together will lighten our day
It's a tonic to chase our problems away
For a really big smile
Can last a long while
And we'll both get along better that way
24th January 2016-01-24
Collaboration by Jan Allison and Rob Bettridge
Categories:
pmt, for her, for him,
Form: Limerick
There are women who feel a strong need
To nag men until their ears bleed
In a war of attrition
With relentless petition
Is a cruel way to make men concede
Men wish for a life of peace
But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease
Men will just say
It's the female DNA
That must out in it's need for release
We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag
Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag'
Men get on our nerves
When you paw at our curves
You should give up and wave the white flag
We can suffer from bad PMT,
Become ogres that men want to flee
We Scream and we Shout
Say We’ll throw you out
But for some reason you wont let us be
Better by far, we should try this next time
It's effective and will prove sublime
By wearing Earplugs
In each of our Lugs
We'll be laughing, whilst nagging - in Mime
Laughing together will lighten our day
It's a tonic to chase all our problems away
For a really Big Smile
Can last a long while
And we'll both get on better that way
Categories:
pmt, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Why cry?
An overwhelming urge to cry,
The reason? I’ve no idea why
Jittery fluttering in my gut
A tension building inside, but
What is the reason? still no clue
Am I losing control? what to do?
Just let it out, the tension will go
It came and went, why? I don’t know
Could it simply be just me?
Or is it caused by PMT?
Categories:
pmt, funny,
Form: Rhyme
She’s doing my head in; I'm at my wits end
I reckon she’s losing the plot
Her tempers are fierce and her moods have no trend
And I’m struggling to deal with the way that she’s got
She gives me no warning of what is in store
And erupts at the drop of a hat
I’ve stopped trying to find out what is wrong anymore
Why she finds fault in this and in that
My once gentle darling is now snapping and snarling
And all that I do is still wrong
Being caring and loving, reassuring and giving
Brings even more spite from her tongue
This female behaviour that causes such stress
(That in men would be labelled ‘Quite Mad’)
Has no rhyming or reason but when it’s in season
PMT wears us blokes down a tad
Who else would she pick on to let it all out?
When the needle goes into the Red
Well I’ve had enough; I’m not taking her ‘Stuff’!
So I’ve gone ‘til she sorts out her Head.
Categories:
pmt, humorous, stress,
Form: Rhyme
Taste these tears
Before you say you know...
Kiss me softly
Before you get up to go...
You are unaware
That I am drowning
Before the flood,
Emotionally and physically,
Without a drop of blood.
Categories:
pmt, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life,
Form: Rhyme