I overdrew my bank account.
Then told the bank to print more money to cover it.
They told me there was no interest in doing that.
I suggested a moratorium on pursuing the matter.
They suggested I not write any more checks.
I told them I was drowning in debt.
They asked who pushed me into the pool.
I wept and cried as I toweled myself off.
I asked if they could suspend my rent/mortgage payments
car payments, child care/support payments etc.
The said it wasn’t their job to bail me out.
I reminded them that the GOVERNMENT
(aka taxpayers like me) had bailed them out.
They called in an armed security guard
to escort me from the building.
Wait till they see what’s going on with my credit cards!!!
John G. Lawless
Categories:
overdrew, humor, irony, money,
Form: Free verse
Karma Dogs Me
I ran up quite a Karmic debt
overdrew my draft
the bill ain’t barely paid off yet
I think I got the shaft.
Cuz I don’t remember
the who, or where, or why
never read the fine print
“bill comes due after you die”.
All my cards are cancelled
collectors on my trail
my Karma for this lifetime
must be staying out of jail.
If you should see my picture
on life’s Post Office wall
tell them I wasn’t guilty
just the one who took the fall.
Karma’s credit system
climbing out from where you fell
seems better than the others
cuz their payment plan is “HELL”
John G. Lawless
3/15/2014
Categories:
overdrew, humor,
Form: Verse
Against my better judgment I order a lenny’s subway
The girl beside me was giving me the eye so I gave her the opening line God it’s a great day
She giggled a little and said that’s the line you decided to go with haha, so what’s your name
Its working like a charm for the moment and by the way the names James
We chatted a little and decided we should have lunch before her next class
After she ordered her food we walked to the register to notice that I was low on cash
I allowed her to order first because I still had cash to hunt for and search
Darnit, I thought to myself I know I got no paper all I have is this card
And I know this card aint got much money on it but hell i’ll take the risk and be a retard
She swiped the card and I almost choked to see my total 12.85 damit I knew
I had 12.00 total on my card but I played it cool, because only I knew I overdrew
Categories:
overdrew, me,
Form: Narrative