Ever notice that people generally dislike being rude,
Saying someone is fat or stupid, now that’s crude,
I’ve collected and developed some sayings to stop tears,
That I’ve used to describe myself in situations over years.
Such as I am not fat, just really, really short for my weight,
Or when I’m tardy, I am really late for the starting gate,
Forgetful - I’m a straw short of a bale; a pickle short of a jar,
And the one I favour to whisper of others, always from afar
Is that “they are really not the sharpest tool in the shed”
Because I like to be kind in all things done and said.
Written August 5, 2012
Won 3rd place in Craig Cornish's contest
I march to the beat of a different drummer
I've heard it a million times
They've even called me crazy
Because I color outside the lines
Sometimes, they just call me special
While others might say, unique
Some people say, I'm just old fashioned
Or a dried up, ancient antique
Strange, is another word often used
Or, "He's just looking for attention"
"His elevator don't go all the way up"
Or that I'm stuck in a different dimension
"The lights are on, but nobody's home"
Or, "He's not the sharpest tool in the shed"
"He's not all there, if you know what I mean"
Or, "He must of fell and hit his head"
Now I've been called most everything
But I'll be what I want to be
Somebody once even called me a genius
So what, if that somebody was me
I filled out those IQ tests, ten years apart
Each test I took scored me one point from Mensa
Years of College, I should not have taken art
I put the blame on Top Ramon and pizza
Not the sharpest tool in the shed, by far
Balancing ideas to sway my mind
My solutions might be lacking in part
But the answers I get, settle in time
Our intelligence needs challenge, my friend
A problem solved, we subconsciously wonder
Question a question to question again
Just to come up with more thoughts to ponder
There's three kinds of genius on the beaten track
Those who can really count and then those who just can't
Some are out of their minds, but they will be back
Geniuses are artists with names like Rembrandt
I want to ask a you a question I found
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
The answer is simple, she can't sit down
Intelligence detests this subtle humor
So the next time you have lost your pen
Don't think of yourself as an idiot
This happens to many of wise men
They have gone on to greatness, without it
Intelligence
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