There's something that you don't know about me
And I am sure you probably never knew
It's that my father was born a guinea
And my mother, she was born a Jew
When they married my mother converted
So, it was catholic that I was raised
But when we visited her family
It was always Jewish that I was praised
So, this afternoon I'll be eating some pasta
And just to keep you all in the loop
Tonight, when I get home from work
I'm making some really well home-made...
"Matza ball'a soup"
"But Motek, it's Hanukkah!
You MUST be with the FAMILY on HANUKKAH!!"
(Ok Mom, sure Mom, right away Mom, I'll come home)
"Rabbi Grossman DOES do such LOVELY services!
Every Jew in Suffolk County will be there!
Challah Bread! Matza Ball Soup! SONGS on the ACCORDION!"
(Merry, cheery, Hava Nagilla surface tension happiness...)
"Smile everyone, and I'll take a picture!!!"
(CHEESE!!!!)
"Motek... I DO wish you spoke with him already...
I mean, it's been over a YEAR now...notta WORD!
It BREAKS my heart to see you two like this..."
(I'm sorry Mom)
"I mean honest to ELOHIM!!
Brothers should LOVE each other!!!
How can you be so NONCHALANT about this???
Breaks my heart."
(Your answer lies right in front of you Mom,
You just need to know where to look...and where not to)
I'm innocent your honor
I did not murder my husband.
I'm just a victim of fate.
you see I was making his favorite
spanish rice and matza balls.
I reached up for some Old Spice
and accidentaly got the Bug Be Gone.
no sir, he didn't suffer
at least I don't think so.
he ate it all.
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