Malapropisms Poems | Examples


Premium MemberA Good Clean Slam

A Good Clean Slam

Let us investigate the process!
HOW…..HOW…..shall we make
a MUD PIE……without getting dirty???

We shall polish up the words,
buff them to an acceptable finish,
weave them into an undecipherable web
of double entendre, tongue in cheek malapropisms,
drape it sensually in Freudian Slips,
conceal its intent in a Slamming Trojan Horse.

We shall protest – but not too much,
Shout – but not too loudly,
We shall rant – but briefly
stay within the confines of the PC Police lines.

How then shall I tame this rage,
this hard boiled anger?
Contain these tears of fear,
smooth the edges of my life
into a gentle, inoffensive, song?

Would you have me ride into battle
on a doe, carrying a feather?
Offer flowers to those who need cold steel?

Must I rein in my vitriolic vengeance,
curtail my caustic tongue,
creep – snake-like….hissing - balloon-like
spewing my venom in lost droplets,
burning an already scorched soul??


John G. Lawless
5/24/2014
For A Poet Destroyer
Slamming Season contest
Categories: malapropisms, slam,
Form: Free verse

Hard To Forget

Hard to Forget
 
Earie the  mournin I had the cock screw
At the aftunun, I washed the sunnin gay
Im just wanderin ova evrytin
Evry momen we shed in our useful days

Refrain
Hoe kan I stop to lovin ye (no...w)
Hoe kan I cease to make ye hapi
 Hoe kan I resixt ye in ma laive (that's why)
I'll holeways loaf ye delhi

Steel remembrin when we melt
Steel remembrin tins we shed 2 gender
Hoe suit those day we spent worse
Hoe wail down memo lane to bring on the murder...


Refrain

I kan't just forgate evrytin...
I steel rememba well we melt
I steel rememba the time we shed
I steel rememba... evrytin evrytin


Refrain

So is tru the world is mall
I kan't beliv I fall in lob
Yeah I fall in  and fet no same
Is there any crown in being in lob?

Very hard, very very hard
Hard to forget
Very hard, very very hard
Hard to forget
For I'm in love ooooo
This is hard to forgo. 

For: Roy Jerden's Malapropisms and Mondegreens Contest
Categories: malapropisms, funny, humorous, love, song,
Form: Lyric


Premium MemberMalapropisms

Down by the blabbing(babling) brook
Where daddy lived as a boy
Was a place of quietude and simplicity
        But one filled with  many memories
Some being beyond my apprehension(comprehension)
     Some of the tall tales he did repeat
  
                      Like one day
When my aunt's new beau came to take her out for a treat

He knocked 'pon the door and the oldest brother did answer

The beau said that he had come to see Mary where was she

My uncle answered to everyone's disguise(surprise)
                 
                           She is her bedroom cleaning out her drawers(dresser drawers)

That is when my uncle felt sister was hostage(hostile) and might just tutor(neuter) him when 
she returned home from her date to the ice cream store.    

A work using malapropisms(absurd or humorous misuse of a word, especially by confusion
with one of similar sound...

Not for the contest..Just for fun...
Categories: malapropisms, funny,
Form: Free verse

Scores of Malapropisms

It could be noticed in media networks
either on television or newspapers,
how some writers document issues
with scores of errors or buthered grammar.

A literature in a hurry, a scripted discourse,
it’s what many demonstrate clearly
both in written and oral communication;
a powerful medium with a sense of liberation.

A ubiquitous voice, everywhere in this land,
its tapestry gets stronger in its own groove;
like those commentators or byliners,
able to articulate their own opinions.

But certain things in different settings
how those people speak with humor
at times make blunders wafting across
the growing audience and readers.

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words,
that exemplifies a reality in action;
as an instruction from the Lord
this Hebrew word from Zechariah’s book -
Dabru emet : speak the truth.
Categories: malapropisms, faith, life, , literature,
Form: Narrative

Bugsy

Confidence fades away
Clothes to the wind
My cracking glass, the nightscape
Contorted into vixen reds and apparition dark
Seventeen

Kitsch eyes, as kitsch as a child
Crying in a kitchen scene over spilt milk
Shrinking under giant flaming wings of a morbid sun god
A flower in the rocks craving eleemosynary of sunlit droplets
Dew sticking heavy, a glue to papier-mâché the fine parasol
Poverty of any subtle scintella, a florid propinquity or velleity 
Slinking into the puissant moon dust but with all the style
Of a dead inurement Sickert slick

My sui generis malapropisms
Cruel bowdlerization of a grouping wall and night

The hard outer shell of flesh
The ladybug, the thumb
The ladybird and stupid shibboleth.

_

Daffy, I said I'd write something called Bugsy :D
Categories: malapropisms,
Form: Free verse


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