Long Smart aleck Poems

Long Smart aleck Poems. Below are the most popular long Smart aleck by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Smart aleck poems by poem length and keyword.


Premium Member Smart Aleck Cat and Mr Peabody One

I have not finished painting on the jelly the persnickety cat said.
The lacksadaisical cat laughed, she is flexible in her head.
The Meow Hotel has high standards said Mr. Peabody One.
Smart Aleck Cat knew then she was about to have fun.

She ran with the toast to room four thirty-two.
When they answered she meowed “how do you do”?
That’s not the way we serve. Where is the rose?
Smart Aleck Cat laughed from her head to her toes.

I am serious Mr. Peabody One said, angry now.
He was so irritated. She said, “Don’t have a cow!”
I guess they never married, my listener said.
“They actually did, and they remain wed.”
Form: Quatrain


Conundrum

Ahhhh...they make me so mad:
A fool, a buffoon, an unruly lad,
A prankster, a trickster, a tattler,
A gigolo, a lounger and an idler;

An impostor, a pretender and a loafer,
A party crasher, a tailgater and a golfer,
A boondoggle or a task of a tall order,
And the deals done under-the-counter.

I often tear my hair out at a silly pun
Or at a smart aleck who can outrun,
A hoax or a scam drives me crazy
that is absurd, witless or sleazy.

But look into my eyes lovingly
And whisper sweet nothing softly,
Hold my hands and be pretty sexy,
And oh...Man, I'll just go crazy!


I'm so annoyed contest by Mary Oliver Rotman
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member I Am Bored With Boors

I looked up the word 'boor' in my Funk n' Wagnalls to verify the truth.
I found that, "A 'boor' is one who's ill-bred, crude and somewhat uncouth!"
I find boors obnoxious and inconsiderate jerks when they flaunt their gall!
Their disgusting, rude and churlish behavior nearly drives me up the wall!

I detest loud-mouthed youths (and adults) who I suppose vie for attention.
Their total lack of respect for anything is beyond my comprehension!
Their public display of putrid language is offensive to others' ears.
Free speech is fine but public vulgarity could be reined in, it appears!

My eyes glaze over when gasbags bore me with trivial conversation,
And don't get to the point and babble on and on without cessation!
In a fine cafe why don't boors stifle cell phones and let people dine in peace!
Their chattering is akin to a pair of magpies or a skein of honking geese!

Teenage boors practically make love in malls that is offensive to many others.
Aren't kiddies today taught be a bit more discreet by their pops and mothers?
They tote their boom boxes with 'music' blaring throughout the 'hood.
I'd like to tell them where they can shove those things if I legally could!

I loathe smart aleck boors who tailgate and impair my driving vision.
Don't they know this lack of common sense is apt to cause a collision?
I reckon I'd better wind this down and not bore with further dissertation,
But no doubt by now with boorish boors you can sense my frustration!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 5 in Linda's "I'm Bored With_____" Contest - May 2011
Form: Rhyme

How Bout Stoichiometry For a Conversational Hook

How 'Bout Stoichiometry For A Conversational Hook?

Nary a clue exists about
     the relationship between
relative quantities of substances
     taking part in a clean
(non GMO contaminated) 
     gluten free reaction,
     or forming a mean
compound, typically a ratio

     of whole integers umpteen
place holders long proudly,
     (albeit microscopically)
     swaggering analogous
     to a prideful
     home coming queen
walking with her beau
     appearing much older looking

     than a latte (drinking) teen,
the third word up above, (affright
full looking, isle
     lid lashing sorely,
     trying, torquing, and
     testing vision, i.e. eye sight),
where with insight
red left to right

across conventionally,
     sans persons write
ting, and/or read
     ding English, who might
live within neck of the woods,
     how zing this knight,
where the whirled wide webbing
     haint so bright

this smart aleck (comprised
     fancy title), excite
ting immediate uptight
reaction came to "light"
just in the nick of time
     to spur a sprite
lee chary reader to take
     pro nouns hubble flight

(at what the ĵ** -
     in reference quite
understandably to multi
     syllable chemical airtight
romance masquerade),
     this barred bard did write

unfamiliar word, which undoubtedly
     triggered consternation,
     and fierce urge to bite
and/ or sentence this "FAKE" cur,
     who whiz unable to height
ten interest toward me senseless
     poetics with supreme delight.

Vanity and Vexation

Ahhhhhh.... they make me so mad!
A fool, a buffoon, an unruly lad,
A prankster, a trickster, a tattler,
A gigolo, a lounger and an idler;

An imposter, a pretender and a loafer,
A party crasher, a tailgater and a golfer,
A boondoggle or a task of a tall order, 
And the deals done under-the-counter!

I often tear my hair out at a silly pun
or at a smart aleck who can out-run,
A hoax or a scam drives me crazy
which is absurd, witless or sleazy. 

But look into my eyes lovingly
and whisper sweet nothing softly,
Hold my hands and be pretty sexy
And oh ... Man, I’ll just go crazy!


~"What Annoys You?" contest by Frank Herrera.
Form: Rhyme


Premium Member A Wannabe Gameplayer: New Poetic Form--TEARASSONANCENET

Hark,  Hallow Dark my dear pal, Titans Mars 
rally Martian stars, tag team game Play--Card 
Black, Naturals -- rare place reason, Blackguard 
quandary, battlescarred, halt? Pass? Have cigars? 
Smart-aleck, hmm! facial--compact, boxcars, 
ugh! gawdawful. Beauty Triathalon, 
He'll be back straightaway, mayhaps papers? 
Your facial pasted atop Front page! Bazaars
trains, sidecars, racecars, famous! Alas, Shawn, 
lad go faraway places, imagine! 
Wanted to ... look balanced, thats it, smart-like 
Cameras I take it! Fair and Square, dawn 
speaking of that man, time has no passion 
I want you meet mama, familylike

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