Long Remotes Poems
Long Remotes Poems. Below are the most popular long Remotes by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Remotes poems by poem length and keyword.
Before remotes, we changed the channels
Right on the TV.
We got up from the couch to learn
What there was there to see.
When things got modern, we could sit
And use the new remote
To flip from show to show, deciding
Which would get our vote.
But now, we have remotes galore
And I can never tell
Which one to use and so I fiddle
‘Round for quite a spell.
My husband knows the magic trick
To find just what I need.
As long as he’s around
I’ll watch my program, guaranteed.
But at my son’s house, bets are off.
It really gets my goat
That to watch the U.S. Open,
Chances really are remote.
Some other people’s dogs bite, snarl and snap like turtles on speed.
Our young puppy Beau dances, twirls, and bites his tail as if he’s on weed.
The other dog, Buddy, is a gentle giant, over a hundred pounds of love.
He was sent to us via a dumping, from angels who live well above.
It is no accident that God and Dog have the same three letters.
Beau, our deranged puppy is one of those romantic go-getters.
Being a retriever, he fetches everything – leaves, sticks, or a ball.
We are such dog people, we have four dog beds lying in our hall.
They might want to drink water, so we have six gray water bowls.
Buddy sits calmly while Beau digs enormous muddy burying holes.
They have personalities that keep us excited, they fill us with joy.
They want to eat our slippers and remotes, ignoring every dog toy.
Things Missing Somewhere in This House
My birth bertificate…
A box of needed, new bank checks…
Both of our wedding rings…
My Waterman fountain pen…
After 4 decades, at least 3 doz. of Jim’s odd socks & 2 doz.
Of mine…
2 Roku remotes, 1 somewhere
upstairs & 1 here downstairs…
(Worrying) The hand-written letters I received from
Thornton Wilder & Samuel Beckett…
My nonchalance about tornadoes especially after last month when Jim’s
sis-ilaw’s home was destroyed in Laurel County…
(Most tragically) Half of our hearts gone — after our 2 sons (brothers whom we adopted when they were aged 2 & 4)…And were so completely adored by us for 14 years, but who were
Then,
On one horrid day, driven off by their birth-mother (in her suddenly arrived car)…Back to SC where they were born…And since when they’ve not contacted us…
20 years of our youthful daydreams…
(Woefully) The bottom half of my right leg, which somehow returned here with me from the hospital after the surgeon took it 17 months ago, & which in
painful phantom screams,
keeps pleading
to be re-joined…
(Especially & Thankfully lost) any distance that once exiisted
between me and Jesus…
Screams of a woman being murdered
Woke me up from the loveliest dream
My startled face shook me awake.
Listened harder. My husband has the TV up to highest volume.
He is probably asleep in front of it,
and it has turned itself up for attention.
I close my bedroom door and try to recover my dream.
I was in the middle of a meadow with wild strawberries
Queen Anne's lace and wild daisies. It was delightful!
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!
I jump out of bed and patter into his office.
He is snoring loudly in front of five TVs.
I use five remotes before I figure out how to turn them off.
He wakes up. "Hey! I was watching that!"
I give him the look and go back to bed,
Mad as a tornado now for the meadow is gone,
and my mind is full of violent murderers outside,
trying to get in and get me.
I can only hope they get to him first...
In halcyon olden days of yore,
When box TVs were far from smart,
The youngest in house used to bore,
If lovingly, the chore TVs to start.
Then came remotes— a political mace
At home they have tended to be,
And if I may, no less a menace—
When needed, always remote from me—
Perhaps, why we call them remote!
Which, a moment a sub’s ordered online,
Back in view from nowhere float,
Oh to make you look asinine!
Oft a cause of bedroom uproars
And keen to start marital wars,
When, with fuzzy warmth of winter
The two-some quietly saunter.
Yet, who’d the remote bring?
Well, not before things thaw in spring!
I’m now waiting for a remote—
Universal that’d get no one’s goat,
And one with fewer buttons than my age,
That also is easier to engage,
Ideally one, user friendly,
For an old sort not so friendly.
Today’s remotes, it appears,
Have buttons like my wasted years,
And pointless as I can see
With coloured ones, I feel lost at sea.
Even TV deft hands advise me
Not to worry, unnecessarily!
Let today’s smart TVs feel that remote
Really turns them on,
As for me, they often trigger my horn,
To me they feel like a crop of wild oats,
Perhaps, both because grapes are sour,
And too tall be the vine bower.
______________________________________
Free verse | 06.11.2022| humour
A dedication to my roommate
The way she left,
The remotes side by side on my bed she left
I remember the day I fought
for the remotes to be left by my cot
I screamed
We were just strangers living feet apart
You thought I was a selfish prick,
I thought you were a boring stick,
I remember the day you bored me with those chessy flicks
I grumbled
We were just strangers living feet aparts
You speak I am just a robot, who nods side to side,
Never looking eye to eye.
I remember the day you cried,
Into your pillow at night,
I know I should have held you tight,
And told you it was alright,
But I was a selfish prick and you were right,
I told you,"well it is life, so shut up and sit tight",
You laughed, I was suprised,
We were not so strangers living feet apart
I remember the day you fell ill,
I wanted to run like hell,
But came out of my shell,
I stayed still,
no sound, lights down until,
You were well.
And then I came down too,
With the same sickness as you,
But you were there for my rescue,
We might be stuck in this place smelling of shoo,
With no of our own tissue,
But through highs and lows,
You were there for me and I for you,
Two lonely souls,
Just living feet apart
I remember the last meal we shared,
No calls after that,
If you meet me on the road somwhere,
Please remember the moments we shared,
The wardens we scared,
The glares we snared,
We were one hell of a foolish pair,
So smile,
As we were strangers, who lived feet apart.
Leading you!
Close your eyes let me show you the way
Not a hit movie or child's play
Let me reveal some things to you this day
Answer questions family feuds pass my days
My ways are better than yours remember
Like Rocky shot Bull winkle twinkles December
Let me change sides arrange the lyrics to your song
Sony kicked death jam with Chris bomb
Based projects sold fences with wrenches
Battled down tears with walls called truth with suspension
Called out the wanna be's
Bees with no tree flowers with stems broke back pinned in with fig leaves
Let me separate wheat from tears
Phonies with no hairs
Traces of laces lies slipped in with truth see
Listen to me I have all the antidotes
Cable with no remotes
Change traded for stock piles without notes
Who says that I am
Cap sized skillets sticking like Pam
Pressured arteries hospitalized pumped up with methadone like shame
Discovery hidden in the dark
Let me reveal to you when light hit the chart
When man made time
Talk mess with no rhymes
Peeped game like Slick mine
Rick Ross with no crimes
Let me strip up a mid line
Crooked ways been signs
Operated chilled shine
Gold nuggets been laced
With under cover who based
Truth facts with out states
Property been paid
No money like mechanical tool base
Wait now later caught up with tooth paste
MY BELOVED REMOTE
I sat om my remote unit after a tiresome day at work
so tired was i that i let myself go and it broke into two
i am spying our receptionist TD remote with much envy
just lying there on the reception desk no one catering it
remotes very strange gadgets only superficially understood
small but very powerful just watch a man fiddle the gadget
you will realize its a symbol of power an status in social setup
i broke mine humbly i suffer the indignity of a manual system
i have to leave the warmth of my couch blanket and tap loved tv..
the few pitiful buttons are now supposed to substitute my "gadget"
its a gadget of technology whose worth few appreciate till broken
suffering humiliation of punching the four buttons on actual tv set
they have now gone digital migration and a tvs menus reads as thou
its the encyclopedia Britannic we need tutor-age to decipher manual
that's why i keep eyeing TD remote for you never know the day that
i will need a replacement seeing that market is flooded with imitations
the orient guys are flooding the market with cheap fake imitations
driving the lovely gadget to a low life expectancy it suffereth in silence
i love my gadgets and the remote guarding them jealously for loss is grief
to them lazy bones claiming fatigue now being tortured to leave warm 'duve'
Lewis k nyaga
19/01/2015
Form:
We named him Buddy. He is a Great Dane German Shepherd mix
A baby; we keep saying we should have called him Marmaduke.
In one month he has chewed up at least a hundred things.
He has chewed the lids off of twenty-four water bottles and six juices.
Did he dump them? No. He did it without spelling a drop of juice.
I am down to two pairs of shoes.. Four are tattered and torn.
He chewed up a brand-new car cover which had never been used.
He demolished a package of Styrofoam paper plates too.
When we go to bed we don’t know what we will wake up to.
The living room is usually full of things we forgot that we had owned.
One day I recognized the shredded material but did not know why.
It was a child’s umbrella, I had not seen for ten years.
He is the chewing-est dog we have ever had.
And we have adopted nineteen dogs.
If he ever decides to chew up the furniture
We might have to think of obedience school.
We have chew marks on our TV remotes.
He demolished an Amazon gift card box.
Need I go on? We love the big lug.
We call him the big galoot; and we are glad he was dumped here.
All my home remotes died today in Spring.
Dumbstruck by 'GreyTooth' the Pirate King.
Who like Harald 'Bluetooth', the Danish Monarch
had a dead blue-grey tooth in his head, a hallmark
of how smart a pirate he was to stage a scam demand
that I pay a ransom to release my remotes from remand.
So what do I do as nothing works without a remote?
I feel like a wader poking fingers down hole's throat,
hoping to get a reaction from my TV, Stereo and other devices,
that only work to the sounds of remote signal advice's,
made by Bluetooth in responses to keystrokes.
This reliance on remote devices really sucks, folks.