Long Pursuance Poems
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Apparently- adopted at birth, I
was timely told this when I turned twelve.
Though always adoring adoptive parents-
so oft turned thoughts to my mom's long-lost love.
My birth mother, most meaningfully would
rebuild roots and resolve rumors which I
diligently dismissed and dared dreamed false-
tried telling thoughts- she is genuinely good.
Youth yielded to adulthood; pursuance passed.
Then, one distinct day a caller came crashing
in my life; lost love loomed- luckily to be found!
My birth mom, brilliantly beaming- found me!
Lost love- now forever found! Puzzles perceived!
We soon connected, comingled, caught up.
The "why, when, where" my sacred start began;
the sharing, saying- from which womb I came.
So oft turned thoughts to my mom's long-lost love;
My birth mom, brilliantly beaming- found me!
Depression
There are many thoughts that envelope your inner voice
There are many scenarios that do and do not give you a choice
There are many fears that grip your heart and very soul
There are many changes that were not part of your goal
You lose the will to achieve, to fight, to carry on
You lose the strength to except things that are gone
You lose the understanding that you once held so true
You lose the confidence that once was your mainstay glue
D Day by day lost in confusion and fear
E Escalating frustration that no one hears
P Pursuance of a dream so very hard to achieve
R Reliance of a truth, that you no longer believe
E Everywhere others find their way, or so it seems
S Solutions evade you, lost in nightmares and dreams
S Solitude is your friend, your enemy, deep within your soul
I Interwoven confusion, all anger, all angst you withhold
O Only you hold the key to release all this anger and pain
N Not being able to see any achievements, the gifts you have gained
I understand your feelings of being lost, in despair
I understand sometimes you feel that no one cares
I understand your need to find love and compassion that define
I understand your depression, though I truly don’t understand mine
These are the many feelings of being lost within ones self
The negative feelings you have should be placed on a internal shelf
This is self absorption, you should never visit, that should be denied
This cannot help you, only leave you lonely, in a world only you reside
We all experience some form of depression from time to time
Try to find something to be grateful for, something so sublime
Try and give many thanks for what you have right here and now
Try to give a warm smile to another, maybe help them somehow
You are not alone within your depression, though that’s not how you feel
These feelings you have can be so overwhelming, each one of them so real
Reach out to others in your darkest times, in your deepest time of need
Don’t go it alone, the answers you seek maybe when someone intercedes
Filched Physiognomy - Mine!
Absolute zero escape
velocity guts dance
sing days (contra and square),
cuz metabolic full abundance
abdominal adipose tissue acceptance
not in accordance
with light as a feather
miss lost acquaintance
the boy within forced admittance
as sure man tanks of fat did advance
shotgun marriage demanded allegiance
to pledge lifetime alliance
no room for allowance
crushing lightness of being ambiance
nor allies to help me combat
battle fatigue require
ring superman endurance
to muster strength
to stand erect else ambulance
will whisk away husky
embarrassing appearance
loose fitting clothing
jelly roll appurtenance
overnight digital readout,
asper body mass index
scaled quick ascendance,
thus when showering,
I look askance
fearing bulging balloon
will necessitate assistance
else... diet of worms
as only assurance
safeguarding body electric
against hecklers at open casket
no matter, a small perchance
crowd in attendance
yea... eventual cremation
after life only fat chance
to alleviate present circumstance
heavy matter fails security clearance
the price for astute cognizance
weak willpower alighting countenance
esse pie ying sweet treats
now measures taken to counterbalance
to fight temptation and dalliance
overruling feasting craving delectation
to restore trim deliverance
love handles around equator
no magician can render disappearance
yes the discontinuance
of just dessert must maintain distance
without being weighed
down with disturbance
by heaviest haunch
ain't no elegance
lugging extra encumbrance
when throughout my early life,
skinny, yet able to steel glance
mirrored reflection now grievance,
where wistful memory
ha...ironic insouciance
more so than
today finds intolerance,
thus woebegone issuance
thorn in muss hide
to experience jubilance
hmm...maybe a strong
arm can lance
excess flab quite a nuisance
to defy gravity, why penance
sans unsightly paunch
yours truly laments skin
tight fit, thus petulance
lame excuse unwanted protuberance
necessitates dedicated pursuance
recollection of washboard
abdomen impossible, yes
nothing accomplished by remonstrance!
the words
spoke clear and were defined
in each and every different
sylaball.
trust me to never
love you
she said in the moments
she allowed him to see her
than my presence is wanted
might they agree to meet!
either in it's meaning,
or pursuance of direction
might the lesser confusion
of knowing make you less
eager to agree.
collaborate
to have him weirded
that all beneath heaven shall
hate him.
in his new light might
we reveal to a world
how foolish it is to love
that those who can conspire against you
might meet to
sober the wines
of celebration
those that knowest
might now be beyond the circle
that they may wonder
in the land
as merchants
of their own product
harvest the fruits of your labor
and sup upon the nourishment of this earth
that he that seekest your treasure
might find dessert
among your harvest
I've had many heated conversations with . . . myself
over how a circumstance, or life itself, should be perceived.
My best time for self-probing is late at night.
Even now (in my sixties), I lean toward idealism.
Reality--not killjoy, but counselor--reminds me of
my boundaries. Opportunities to balance realism and
idealism have proven successful, warding off pessimism.
Pursuance of goals is still fueled by fire, but the flames
don’t leap so high as when I was young and vigorous.
Effective self-examination can be time-consuming
and painful, sometimes revealing that challenging
changes are required of me. These growing pains, even--
or perhaps especially—at my age, are necessary,
for life is not yet through with me.
I classify myself as the basically satisfied, often joyful
by-product of late-night contemplation.
March 9, 2021
entered in Craig Cornish's Contemplation Poetry Contest
The moment I am out of the box
Foxes and hyenas surround me
Needy greedy aggressive seekers
Those who even a second before
Lay hidden in hibernation
In the tightly closed boxes of steel
On the verge of elimination
Thanks to the cultural policing
Now pouncing for dark and dense satisfaction
In a paleolithic plunder
Quenching reddening hunger
In the black and brown forest
Of unchained unrest
In pursuance of almost unconquerable
And incorruptible pleasure principle
Of animal happiness
Night and day
Sense buds making hay
Out of the aesthetic box
Wreaking senseless havoc
Our rose and rhododendrons in decay
Our seagulls
In infirmary and hospitals
Out of the box
The Spanish bull and ox
Flummox our poems
Into the imagery of
Ingrained instancy
For our tumultuous ascendancy
On the pinnacle
Of crimson churning
And the giant jingling
Tapering off to
The momentary Nirvana
Of the
Intense distraction
That arose out of the box
A moment later
In an inertia again
Of the restless vein
For the overwhelming rain
Into deep brain
Teeming with craving lanes and bye lanes
In the dim light delight
Out of box
The red fox
No mailbox
No riverine knocks
The box is very important
For our civilization
Into the flowers
Of sunny sublimation
_______________________________________________
18/01/2017
For the contest, How Long Can A Poetry Go,
Sponsor, Jamie Pan
Note: As the metaphors in the poem is too obvious to need explanation, no writer’s
Statement is added here, as asked for by the sponsor except saying that it deals with the psychological process of the dominance of pleasure principles at the cost of reality principles as elucidated by Sigmund Freud.