Long Lapland Poems

[For the uninitiated and for the avoidance of
confusion, this poem features a Penguin
called Pilchard and a Pilchard called Penguin]
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Pilchard the Penguin had heard a loud cry
A reindeer was plummeting out of the sky
He quickly re-counted...

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To put an end to the myth that Santa lives in Lapland

Santa is a Yorkshire man everybody knows that
People just say he's from Lapland, cos he’s round and fat.
Well Yorkshire men can be the same...

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A Modest Proposal
By Roy Merritt

Doctor Swift wrote it anonymously
His delicate modest proposal
His idea to save the poor Irish 
Was to make their children disposal

He was lampooning Petty and Bacon
Quite popular upon that year
Their notions of...

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'Twas the night before Christmas and it started to snow
Santa Claus was getting ready to go, ho ho ho
To keep himself warm he drank Scotch whiskey from a keg
Then walked to get Rudolph, slipped on...

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The reindeer and Santa proceed at a canter
On a sleigh made of magical wood
They’ve gone to fill shelves with gifts made by elves
For all the kids that have been good

At home in the grotto, the...

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I walk alone on a misty winter morn
Through fields of brilliant white, which they now beautifully adorn
Clumps of frozen grass scrunching stiffly underfoot
This crisp winter chill, ever so sharply does it cut

Fallen foliage has gathered...

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Truth be told
I no longer want deaths and wars
Come part the horizon, Jesus
Christ come now to receive us

If there were a Santa I want only just to know his true origin
What I want for Christmas,...

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A STAR BURST through the night, sparking toward a new GALAXY, landing in a Lapland country.
SWEDISH FISH picked up their speed, feeling something was not quite right, swimming prettily away.
Wolves began to howl, sensing a...

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Simon was a happy elf
Who always wore a smile
One of Santa's best elves
Willing to go the extra mile.

With trousers of green, tunic red
And a bright yellow bobble hat
Simon whistled a happy tune
While at his workbench...

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There came a Leopard in a form of cat
And pur Zeus did as the Dali pet that
Cute kitten, Cassiopeia said at last
While Cepheus questioned 
what the dear had in mind…
.
Ruchbah rode with her gleaming knows
Seeking...

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Into the store dressed completely in pink
He looked like he wanted to kick up a stink
The legs of his pants had decided to shrink
And was that man angry, well what do you think

He read my...

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Holiday Season is almost near
Christmas rush which you can hear
Beautiful lights seen everywhere
It can be felt in the air anywhere..

But still I don't have a Xmas gift for you
I'm not sure if you wanted it...

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Okay, for Christy, who I could never refuse;

Do you have to be fat to have a large intestine?

I'm afraid to ask what kind of dance they do in Lapland.

Dripping pan- a pan that leaks.

Is a...

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To promote my new Christmas short story!

now i've gone and done it,
I've written a story
You can come along and listen,
Just like jackanory
its down in the cellar
right under the vaults
with typos galore
that's one of my faults
its...

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Winter wonderland.( double acrostic)



Weathering the storm,also

Intercepting snow and rain,while

North wind blows, dark clouds,

Trees glistening in sunlight,

Experiencing climate change,

Relax in front of a log fire.


Wishes and dreams to

Oblige friends and family,

Noel celebrations, surprises 

Delivered by fictional

Elves...

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