Long Goober Poems
Long Goober Poems. Below are the most popular long Goober by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Goober poems by poem length and keyword.
They call me "Snotnose,"
King of the snot!
I can slide down a hill on the snot that I make!
Waves of snot my nose can produce,
Most of it gooey and loose!
My friends that I have,
Wear life jackets and boots.
Drowning in a sea of snot,
Is not what my friends like a lot!
Girls' runaway,
"Too much snot they say.
You're too messy to play!"
After I rub my nose on my sleeve,
Before I can sneeze,
The snot is dripping down to my knees!
My mother says,
"Here's a hanky,
Use it please or get a spanky!"
My father says,
"Do as I do."
Placing his finger on one nostril,
He blew out a goober that was quite awful!
I do try to please.
One hanky is used up in just one sneeze!
Blowing out one nostril,
Is like blowing out a hose,
And that is just one side of my nose!
My teacher said,
"Roll up some paper,
And stick it up your nose."
That worked well!
But where does the snot go?
My head swelled and swelled,
Until my brain began to jell!
I pulled out the paper,
And let loose a flood.
Trees fell down!
And there was lots of mud.
Before I was swept away,
A brick mason came by and saved the day!
"Come on kid, this is no joke!"
He pulled me in on the end of a rope.
The brick mason said,
"I can make you a deal,
All the snot you make will make it real!
Come work for me in the brick making factory.
All the snot you mix in will make the bricks tight!"
Much to my delight,
The brick mason was right!
To this day,
Right after school.
I go to the brick factory and let my nose drool!
In addition to money I make after school,
I've made friends that see my nose as a tool!
Even the hospital,
Came to see,
When my snot fixed a boy who fell from a tree.
All of this I did for free.
Now they call me, "Mighty Squirt"
And I can be proud of me!
To battle off intruders
I hired a dog named Goober
He came to me packing heat
I think it is a Luger
He's not a German Shepard
Though his collar and holster are made of leather
He graduated Obedience School
Proudly wearing his Letter Sweater
I pay him in dog biscuits
Which cuts down on doing dishes
As we toss ideas around
When problems arise Goober licks it
He came with papers so all could see
Showing he is the best of breed
Also to lay out on the floor
In case Goober feels the need
Goober has been a great asset
All the intruders around here left
In case you feel the need to ask
...Just don't ask the cat
I used to love to pick my nose.
After 3,
Better than playing with my toes.
With a nose you see,
Each little crevasse has a surprise for me!
A goober,
A booger.
Nothing I would find amiss.
Cleanest nose in town,
Until Momma was around.
Momma said, "Don't pick your nose,
You might get it on my hose!
There are not gold doubloons in there,
Just goobers and boogers.
Perhaps a bit of hair."
But that's the whole point!
My boogers and goobers,
Are my snacks at night!
Mommas in bed.
It's dark,
No one will see.
Just me and my nose,
Boogers and goobers are free!
This poem is not meant to offend anyone or belittle their beliefs. This is only my attempt at humor.
~Things I’ll Give Up for Lent~
Liver and onions,
Minced meat pie.
Drinking beer from a can,
Celebrating the 5th of July.
I’ll do away with Haggis,
Kiviak and Sheepshead Smalahoue.
Rocky Mountain Oysters,
Escargot and Fuhu.
Escamoles and fried Tarantula,
Jellied Moose and Airag.
Gaeng Kai Mot Daeng,
and baked polliwog.
Chocolate-covered bacon,
Candy corn or a root beer float
Goodbye Goober burgers,
and pickled ear of goat.
Koolickles, popsicles,
Hominy grits and Spam.
Frog’s eye salad and Turducken,
Tapioca and jellied Ham.
But on this Valentine's Day my dear,
know that there is one thing that's very true.
I'd rather give up my chance to go to Heaven,
then spend a single minute without you.
down south we love our goobers
salt em up and set to roast
eat em by the dozens
drink em in our cokes
fix em fancy in deserts
peanut butter pie
big and small all size and sorts
eat em till the day we die
granny loves to cook em
goobers in down home green beans
adds a bit of crunchiness
to the sunday dinner scene
with newspapers set out on the floor
in front of television sets
cracking shells like walker texas ranger
does good for nothing yankee heads
buy em hot and buy em boiled
along the roadside stand
spilling goober juices
all over the cars naugahyde rotan
finger licking greasy
from out a planters can
down south we love our goobers
like you done heard me said
Battle axe (For the 2nd Half) ... "At last!"
Way too fast past the rescue rascal hassling haphazardly mastered dastardly bastards' fractions of captioning cast iron spiraling wired wax on wax off golf cart Bart Simpson minced garlic cubes boob tube huge goober schooner dooms Days Taser taker wafer run stun gun NOT funny honey bun for one shunned lonesome wholesome quotient potion grunt of a stunt punt the ball into mid autumn leaves fall raking reiki draped date maker place mat patty whack hacky sack crap slapped happy tap dance romance slanted jambalaya riot spliced mice diet quiet cheese, please teases on both knees bereavement easing Fort Leavenworth girth that brings birth to twerk twerps slurred slurping squirts of hurting beef Jerky lurching around the church yard disbarred and charred crash cars 100 yards too far to see scars Mars rover Range Rover Red rover come over 4 leaf clover lawn mower seed Sower leaf blower as NOT just another voter devotional spokesperson swerving tertiary but too scary hairy fairy blue berry merry go round sage turns the page safe and sound clown town brown bag the sandwich fad dude and all of that...