Long Geico Poems

Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis, high bred poiet?s of mine

     ("Thus always I cause the death of tyrants.”)
the purported line Brutus uttered 
after assassinating Julius Caesar.

     Alternatively...

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I hanker and pine for wood burning stove weather

I haint no spring chicken,
("Buk buk buk buk ba-gawk!")
but in Summer re: 
long in tooth sexagenarian 
nostalgic for the following imagery 
evoked yesterday with very little effort
(aside...

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Unidentified extraterrestrial(s) willingly abducted me

As a divergence 
from the apocalyptical, dialectical, 
geomorphological, judgmatical, 
metaphorical, philosophical...,
I share an out of this 
(webbed wide) world,
light hearted anecdote 
ye may find far fetched.

Believe me you,
an unspecified number of...

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Unidentified flying object abducted yours truly,... 

a willing experimental subject 
to escape untenable married life.

Upon falling into a deep slumber, 
the following subconscious 
somnambulant scenario arose 
allowing, enabling, and providing 
temporary alleviation from 
outa harried...

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The monumental bane of OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder

As origin of Homo Sapien species surged ahead,
harboring nascent predominance
asper said primate reproductively bred,
(albeit via incremental fits and starts)
evolutionary forebears didst dread
Tom Tom Club former members
an American...

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Booth made famous on April 15th, MDCCCLXV... 
Sic semper tyrannis ad mortem
("Thus always I bring death to tyrants").

Ever since early forerunners 
of twenty first century
mankind (sprinted 
across trackless expanse extant
upon planet Earth), 
modern Homo Sapiens...

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After President Joe Robinette Biden Junior withdrew from the presidential race...

Planet earth (the Mother of all)
breathed a collective
and palpable sigh of relief,
and I too deeply exhaled,
a foregone conclusion staved off
today July 21st, 2024,
whereat the audacious,
contumacious,...

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Jinxed jesting jejune junior jobber...
just jabbering gibberish (A - J)

Again, another awkward ambitious
arduous attempt at alphabetically
arranging atrociously ambiguously
absolutely asinine avoidable alliteration.

Because...? Basically bonafide belching,
bobbing, bumbling, bohemian beastie boy,
bereft bummer, bleeds blasé blues, begetting
bloviated boilerplate bildungsroman,
boasting...

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Wonderment at existence – mine

a sixty four year old married bloke
born January 13th, mcmlix
under Capricorn sign in general,
and January 13th in particular
who dons online personage
with custom (think 
swiftly tailored harried styled) 
made poetic raiment cloak.

With...

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THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB COVERS ME

Some people got State Farm
So if there’s a a car accident
They are covered if they lose their arm
Some people got GEICO
But I don’t believe in that duck
It’s not about...

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Voluntary unconditional surrender woke...,

Viz hitting yours truly,
when yokel egghead doth jinx
whereby ye cannot comprehend figurative
wimpy vainglory, unequivocally, tectonically,
smoldering resentments I stoke,

he doth bare his soul no joke,
no matter insight doth severely challenge
cyber surfing passersby, who...

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January 24th, 2023 Hair washing heralds huge happening

Hark….the herald angels sing, and twitter 
for mass communication 
mediums stop the presses 
when I, a regular schlemiel 
take shampoo to mine matted mass mop 
(no less than...

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People would do almost anything to make it to the top, even using steroids. This type of drug has been used by all would-be professional athletes and actual professional athletes since the 1980s, even behind...

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I came back from a cold windy walk
Off with my mittens and hat
And coat and boots
On with the tea kettle
I opened the box
“Lipton - 100% Real Tea Leaves
Serve Hot or Iced”
Oooo not ‘iced’
I don’t even...

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I adopt dainty etiquette
when quenching thirst or dining
to buzzfeed growling beast
inside me tummy.

The missus requests obedience
raising both my little fingers in the air
upon taking beverage or repast to lips.

Additionally, she also requires I
(well healed husband...

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G;Geico commercials   B;(you knew this was coming); Billy Mays commercials U; 
hour long imfomercials
G;Big, juicy homemade hamburgers  B;White Castle belly burners
G; Best fast food place;by far;All American, Massapequa N.Y. (check it on...

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While out and about
an unexpected over bare ring bout
to defecate arose,
     where sphincter asserted clout
and would excrete
     despite without doubt...

if closing distance
     (to...

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BREAKING NEWS:

There are unconfirmed reports that, while filming a new advertisement campaign, (on location), on the island of Flores in Indonesia, Martin the Geico Gecko, was eaten by a local komodo dragon named Varanus. Initial...

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5:02 AM Eastern Time Monday,
December 21
Location: 2 Highland Manor Drive
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
40.2562° N, 75.4638° W
Daylight 7:21 am – 4:39 pm
9 hours, 18 minutes

Mine circadian rhythm pulsates bright
imperceptible increments of daylight
increase fantasy fanciful heavenly flight
as I imagine...

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Sleeping Beauty move over, you got fierce competition

Ain't no vicious rumor,
but dead serious joke
cuz no princess
can kiss bajillion times

to get yours truly woke
ah... just one garden variety generic
Geico Frog Prince
(in actuality I
wanna be caveman bloke)

nothing...

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Transmogrification into hideous golem like beast...

Seeks to lavish adoration,
especially after freshly deceased
cuz, upon yar flesh I will voraciously
devour thee asthma Christmas feast
mee haint not a cannibal,

cuz this humane anthropophagist
expresses love daintily, hungrily,
and with lips smacking...

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As always when in the initial throes
of writing what I strive to concoct viz
pièce de ré·sis·tance, 
which grandiose whim fizz
hills with utter futility, nonetheless this
nondescript husband under

scores comment, while pulling his
grizzled hair of chinny chin...

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While outside nor'easter
howls like banshees
vents temperature dips
into low double digits
fire breathing friendly
dragon (cue Barney

purple dinosaur)
crackling hearth,
yours truly snuggling
close proximity warming,
thawing, quelling...
cockles and muscles

atavistic visitations hover
brushes within subconscious
purring, mew zing catacombs
kickstarting, harkening,
dawning... Homo sapiens
lion eye zing...

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It all started in kindergarten with cowboys on them
Next came Smokey and the Bandit's Trans Am
Collected a pair Doris Day once wore
Took a pair from the garbage at the curb next door
While most people are...

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Gamesomeness goads gawky, gingerly,
goofily graceful, grandiloquent gent, gallant,
genteel, geico, guppy gecko, gabbling gaffes,
gagging, gamboling, gestating, gesticulating,
garlic, gnashing, gobbling, gyrating,

gruesomely grinning, grappling, gnomadic
giggly, grubby, gastrointestinally grumpy
gewgaw gazing guy, geographically germane,
gungho, grave gremlin, grumbling, guiding,
guaranteeing, guerilla gripped...

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