Long Funnycar Poems
Long Funnycar Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnycar by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnycar poems by poem length and keyword.
MY FIRST CAR
Years ago when I was younger,
So I'd not be so encumbered,
Wil decided that a car,
Would solve our problems near and far.
A run about was what I needed,
So transportation was not impeded,
When he had to go to work,
And I clung to him like a dirty shirt.
"Let me keep the car today,
I'll pick you up without delay.
When day is done and you're ready for home,
I won't leave you waiting there all alone."
But when day was over sure enough,
He'd wait and he'd wait by the curb with his stuff;
So he bought me a car at a used car lot,
Dependable and not costing a lot.
I loved it, adored it, I gave it a name.
So pretty and feminine, I called her Elaine.
Gold was her color, interior brown,
Easy on gas, I drove all over town.
To work and to school and the grocery store,
A gem of a car, could not ask for more.
Then one fine day in downtown traffic,
A man in a Dodge hit my cute little Maverick.
He knocked her right off her two front wheels.
I couldn't believe it, my senses reeled.
She died on the spot, I cried and cried,
"You killed my car!" "It's okay," he sighed.
The police arrived and I told them my story,
How he came out of nowhere, the details were gorey.
"He murdered my car!" I told them again,
"It was never alive." he said with a grin.
"It was a machine so it cannot be dead."
"It won't move again, so it's dead", I said.
All through the years I still feel the same,
About the man who murdered Elaine.
He came out of nowhere in a big Dodge truck,
Knocked her right off her wheels, that big dumb cluck.
So now when buying a car I endeavor,
I say,"Down with Dodge!" and "Ford Forever!"
Judy Ball
For Carol Brown's My First Car Contest
Some cars and a truck are moving on a mountain road.
The truck driver at the rear is toting a large load.
Suddenly, there’s a speeding car coming from somewhere.
It misses a turn, and goes flying into the air.
It falls and crashes at the bottom of the mountain.
The driver of the car is found to be an old man.
The vehicles stop, then each driver descends to aid
the injured man who lies outside his car very staid.
When they reach him, the dying man has a confession
about a large sum of money in his possession.
Three hundred and fifty thousand dollars in money
was stolen some years before in a bank robbery.
Buried near a big “W” where only he knows,
he tells them all where to find it just before he goes.
It can be found in a park in Santa Rosita.
It’s a town located in Southern California.
The location of the money is an unsolved case.
Soon, the police arrive to ask questions at the place.
All of them deny knowing what the old man had said.
They keep it a secret now that the old man is dead.
Although they agree to divide the buried money,
they all could not decide how to share it evenly.
Nothing was decided that would be equitable,
so the greedy persons dash out on a mad scramble.
Each one gets back in their vehicles to move that day
and be the first one to the treasure that’s far away.
The police now track the people wherever they go.
The law suspects they know the location of the dough.
Detective Captain Culpepper working on this case
obtains information about each one in their place.
Some strange predicaments are a result of this chase.
There are many funny situations they will face.
Based on the 1963 film "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World"
Pacing up and down, finally I yell
are we ever going to do this?
yeah, yeah, hold your horses
I’m coming he screams…
eventually he appears
dressed in a black jeans
and white tight fitted shirt
with bulges in all the right places…
gob smacked, eyes wide,
mouth hanging open
uhm where did you say
we’re going again?
to a friend’s birthday party he says
err, so you’re going dressed like that? I ask
finding it difficult to close my mouth, still in shock…
Yep he say’s while grabbing the car keys,
as he makes his way to the door…
but you never dressed like this before
why now? I asked while running after him
the view from behind is even better
I have a sudden urge to touch his bum
half distracted I almost walk into him..
why not? Is his retort as he opens
the car door for me…
I feel tempted to touch him in a non buddy way…
Uhm do you think I’m overdress? I ask
While fluttering my eyelashes …
nah you look stunning, he says
as he pulls out of the driveway…
still unsure what to make of the man next to me
he seems like a stranger
when did I lose my best friend?
My eyes has finally opened
my best buddy has grown up,
he became a man,
a hot blooded male at that…
what is a girl to do?
pretend not to notice
or make a play for him
before we hit the party,
before the vultures come out to play….
Form:
My wife came home with a big Cheshire cat smile
“I changed the car tyre, “I done it” “It took me a while.”
“Good for you,” I said.
Big deal I thought and want to bed.
Next morning I woke up early for my business trip,
Rushed out the door, thought I’d gave breakfast a skip.
Down route 66 been travelling for some time,
Mentally working on my poetry rhyme.
Then a funny thing flies past my car, letting out a squeal,
Some poor sod has lost a bloody wheel.
I look in the rear view while sipping tea from my cup,
Awaiting to see a massive car pile up.
Then for some reason my eyes dart to the ash tray, and there between the butts
Six shinny new wheel nuts.
Well it took three hours to cut me out of the wreck
All I suffered was a slight concussion, bruised ribs, two broken arms and a stiff neck.
So here I lay with the pen between my teeth
Writing this poem on the paper beneath.
Oh if you see my wife, tell her hubby said,
The next time I see her she’s bloody dead.