Long Crocker Poems

Those primeval skies, no man ever knew
Ignited, as one massive boulder burst through
Hollow inside, creatures not unlike mice
Strapped themselves in as they plunged into ice
Instantly boiled then instantly frozen
None were to question the planet they'd...

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Zenith University   

I am a proud graduate  
of Zenith University,  
where the quality stays on  
until the little dot  
shrinks and goes away.  

I attended that fine institution  
with Tom and Jerry,  
Heckl, Jeckl, Mickey, Minnie,  
Da?y, Donald, Daisy,  
Huey, Dewey, Louie,  
Speedy, Wile E., Gumby, Pokey,  
Yogi, Boo Boo, Dino, Chucko,  
Hobo Kelley, Lassie, Bozo,  
Betty, Barney, Bam Bam Rubble, 
Wilma, Pebbles, Fred,  
Casper, Felix, Sheri? John,  
Gentle Ben, and Mr. Ed.     

Astro, Elroy,  
Judy, George, and Jane--  
Eddie Haskell, Wally Cleaver,  
Mom and Dad and Little Beaver.    

Favorite Martian--Flying Nun,  
James Arness--smoking gun, 
Spanky and Alfalfa,  
Larry, Moe, and Curly.

Tests consisted   
of posted patterns.
To see those,  
you had to get up early  
like Jack LaLanne and Buns of Steel, 
Captain Kangaroo.  

Mid-morning classes included  
Monte Hall (quite a deal), 
Bob the Barker (not the builder). 

Allen Ludden passed the words, ...

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Alternately titled: Get out of my head mister chatterbox!

While inside me noggin legions
of monstrous demons abhor
protest being force fed
arcane and obscure
assaying into religious dogma
hence mind chatter goes full bore
thus crafting poem quite a difficult chore,
one...

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The bright Christmas lights on my city house are so colorful and traditional,
hopefully when I get my high utility bill I won't become too irrational,
and watching everyone open up their gifts makes me want to...

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Get out of my head mister chatterbox!

Ransacking treasure trove 
of maximum headroom.

To remedy a fate worse than death
or orange hair oaf becoming 
forty seventh president
or contracting one
of several viral diseases named pox
permeate heavy shut tight...

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My grandfather on my father’s side, was a pecker-toothed sidle who raped his 
daughter when she was just ten. He threw down vodka from an eternal well and took my father out to buy prostitutes...

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Little Jenny was always found to be very prim and proper/
Outside reading her cook book by Betty Crocker/
Lazy Mary Sat on the lazy suzanne,
Butch Malone was their next of kin kissing cousin,
Along with Mary this...

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“Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" is a song by Australian worship group Hillsong United. It was released on 23 August 2013 as the second and final single from their third studio album, Zion (2013). The...

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Get Out Of My Head Mister Chatterbox!

Upon prima facie first blush
me mind's eye all atwitter,
sans long forgotten
"FAKE" sexual exploits
set mum (chrysos anthem) all aglitter,

boot like short order cook I hapt tubby
quickly realized trumpeting collusion,
a near...

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11/11/16
"Water"


On land and in the water

Ores such as copper


The M.V. P. of the entire roster

Back in the day they use to call me Harry Potter

Show me a lady that can cook like Betty Crocker

I'll appreciate...

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I got Giddy Ma's cookbook to find a user-friendly recipe
Because I was inclined to make a deep-dish apple pie
Pastry baking is not my bailiwick, so I ask for immunity
I want to be honest; there's no...

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Having a dinner party that night
I was getting the meal prepared,
had all the steaks and salad ready
but nothing yet for dessert,
feeling like a Betty Crocker,
but with little time left,
decided to make an upside down
pineapple cake...

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Yea, it's pretty dumb this thing of ours.
They say over time it sours.
With us its been quite different.
Anytime is time well spent.
Our desperation, like a torrent, flowers.
Under which Cupid's bow is underpowered.
Even Aphrodite is turned...

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Each man’s dream or so it seems to me
Is to have in the kitchen Betty C
And then at night when he falls into bed
From Sex Kitten pleasures must be fed

When gets a boo boo and...

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On a limb was this lyric etched 
By leprechaun in rune & sketch.'
T'was not bawdy;But sober in tone 
From this wistful soul Who lived alone

To good Saint Patrick he made a plea
From the trap of...

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Rainbow

It’s raining in my soul
hailing a hurricane of
desiccated tears drenched 
to the bones and trenched 
in my mindless mind

Constant pitter patter cracker
crocker like a desert under
water silence noise demise

Flooding iron cages of reason
leaks in abundance...

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WHEN WILL YOU DIME STORE POETS GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD
I CAN OUTWRITE MOST OF YOU WHILST ASLEEP IN MY BED
YOU WANT TO WRITE ABOUT DAISIES AND WILDFLOWERS
WHILE I WRITE ABOUT SOLDIERS DYING BY THE...

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Shar- sorry, vacuum is not correct, although I sure could use one for my home!!
Thank you Jaime- I will read your works tonight.
Shar- re Kitchen Perfume- I admit , baking bread from scratch; flour, yeast,...

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I am the roaring twenties 
And the cotton club. 
   I am Al Capone and his 
Thugs. 

   I am the rise of Joseph 
Stalin. 
   I am the...

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MY WIFE

A bitch
A witch
Necessary evil begin.
Needed her once,
Now yet  to kill her
  An unfortunate 
sin.

Her womb
A vessel
I  and she needs to fill.
 Yet menopause insanity
My wife should her find a cure pill.

My...

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Everything I am 
Everything I was
Keeps getting better 
And better just because
I'm evolving

Not about pushing delete
Rinse, wash, and repeat
That would only bring defeat
Time passes by
Lessons learned
Only a matter of time
Before dilemmas form a rhyme

Humans can't...

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The chocolate frosting was whipped for the cake
But it flicked on your neck by a simple mistake
Don’t move my love I’ll clean you up
With lips and tongue I’ll gently suck.

Mmmm, that’s good, lets have some...

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When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace

Songwriters: Joel Houston / Matt Crocker / Salomon Lighthelm
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group

SO MANY

when the whispers in your ear...
the daggers...

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my first cookbook was Betty Crocker
I hope they still sell it
the recipes were fun and easy
this was before I was forced to cook

I used to think cooking was fun
I made simple things
chocolate chip cookies
tidbits with...

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Okay, for Christy, who I could never refuse;

Do you have to be fat to have a large intestine?

I'm afraid to ask what kind of dance they do in Lapland.

Dripping pan- a pan that leaks.

Is a...

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