Long Balderdash Poems
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The foresight
When I look back on my life, which I seldom do
I think in my writing, I should be deeper; alas, my self-mockery gets in the way.
Why should I think I`m intellectual to have any worth to say?
It appears to me that many on Facebook feel important enough to enlightening us with their homilies?
If you live like this or that, you will find peace and happiness.
Balderdash!
Reading what philosophers said, is interesting but it does not change your mind.
Nor does reading the bible makes you a Christian.
Gladness is a gift and the place for village idiots who lack the ability
to reflect upon life.
speculated on what life is for is useless; the only cure is acceptance
that life is cruel, and if you live long enough, friends may drive you around
asking you about the old days, a time you rather forget.
No religion or philosophy will rescue you; you are on your own until death.
The land of honey?
Most Americans I know of are writers and artists
who sees when a crime has been committed
alas, the US government and its politicians are held
in the grasp of the Zionist who has thoroughly
corrupted most of those who carry a big responsibility
for world peace, fail to do so.
I love America, but my love affair with this great land has taken many knocks and led astray by enemies within its border who have, because of US generosity, been able to grab the political power and rule America
to the mire that the Middle East has become.
The America I knew was energetic, vibrant and there was an opportunity to make a good living
Here, I must say, the America I knew was a white state
when I, on a few occasions, was in black surroundings
many told me about the discrimination they suffered at the hands of the law, although I noticed they drove nice cars
Now that this obstacle has been overcome, I see, to my dismay, that black America has a very high crime rate. I think their moral leaders have let their people down.
I read that 3 million refugees have entered the borders
in Mexico illegally, is reprehensible why those in power let this happen.
Not that I wish to be conspiratorial, but if we are witnessing
a browning of America to make the masses more malleable to pay them less than they deserve.
I like Texas, I can't help it, where the sport is to sit on the angry bull and try not to be thrown off for 8 seconds
many years ago, on a Sunday, at a cafe, cars came with
armed men who drank Lone Star beer and were courteously to one another and to strangers,
this makes
sense well-armed people are polite.
Back then, communism was the devil and only a stupid
Man would dare to voice another opinion.
Opinions often change in conservative sites,
many who applaud Putin's refusal to entertain
on his watch, the Woke culture.
It is alarming when some white folk feel they have to be critical of white people. Balderdash!
It was white American workers and leaders,
made America wealthy, powerful and democratic
I wish for the Jew obsession to lessen so the USA can go back to be great again.
Former CIA Director
John Brennan scathing headlines
Washington Post op-ed sharply
published critical accusations
muted excoriation slams
Commander in Chief
volcanic blatant pathological lying
spews like lava his American
foreign policy boilerplate brazenly
bastardizes by banditry blueprint,
balefully balkanizing beautiful bracketed
booming brady bunch brand,
bests best-buy buffer braking balanced
bastion, bolstered beloved benighted
bequeathed bicameral bipartisan bliss,
Baptizing bacchanalian buffoonish bombast,
betokening bobble-headed Bumstead,
barmy bartered bride bravado, bizarrely
brash brassiness, blindsiding behavior,
beetlebrowed bonehead, bafflingly baldfaced,
bankrupting, blithely bollixing,
bombastically belittling, badmouthing,
banally blasting, banana-boat baseless,
bearish blandishments, beastly boastful
boosterism, bellicosely boorish, bug-eyed,
bighearted, bigoted blathering breeding
blunderbuss bloopers, bewildering
bloodletting bellyache blight,
brazenly being bandying bellwether,
blitzing bourgeoisie balderdash,
balking but beaming barbaric
berserk ballyhoo backbiting,
backslapping backstabbing
blacklisting bromides,
besetting basic bestowed blooming,
Bobbitizing bedeviling beneficial
bulwark bereft badinage, ballistically ballooning
betrayal birthing bedlam.
Me... creature of comfort? Bah
Once again mine lock, stock
and barrel trade in balderdash
finds yours truly (i.e. me)
to type poem frisson a$$ off
as dentures chatter and gnash,
while still inside me gobstopper,
(the sole way to generate
plea for coveted heat),
which will moost likely
meet chilly reception
whereby ye will predictably
not even bat an eyelash
perchance receive critical backlash
'pon reading what qualifies
as mine trademark mishmash,
yet though just axing you to quash
knee jerk reaction, or
unfairly con sitter me brash
not trying to make waves splash,
cuz yours truly prefers
amenable conflict resolution versus
airing sentiments online,
where differing opinions
spark byte size clash,
diminishing sympathy for
devilish dude with toothless flash,
(who by the way could benefit
courtesy bajillion dollars in cash),
though lavish largesse
much appreciated stash.
Superfluous here within chilly apartment
reasonably rhyming lament,
cuz central heater spews
cool air out vent,
no matter Kevin with son Kyle
(two man maintenance crew)
formerly named recently
replaced small circuit board,
mine genuine acknowledgement
once given, I surmised meant
his professional technical services
would be unnecessary,
until hot steamy summer weather
necessitates well mannered climate
controlled environment,
whereby malfunctioning
central air conditioning,
would find yours truly
donning bare banal civilities
(think emperor and his
new nonexistent/see thru clothes)
as totally tubular tumblr
harmless long haired fervent
pencil necked baby boomer gent
chilling profusely sweaty geek,
(matt her horn fact dashing
apostle impossible mission
not to chuckle testament)
speeding unsightly birthday suit
scaring old fogey folks out their wits,
especially seeing petrified
atrophied balled naughty BitTorrent.
I learned very early on that LIFE was a game,
and so many times I have been in a MOUSE TRAP;
any mistakes I made along the way- no one else is to blame,
my twisted journey has been a labyrinth map.
I have no CLUE why things happen the way they do,
with paths and pits of TROUBLE and chances like rolling dice;
but without fear I have into the darkness flew,
and failing and falling over and over- I have paid the price.
Have been in a TRIVIAL PURSUIT for deeper meaning,
I have known conquests and conflict and RISK;
but on the Almighty Lord in times of pain- I am leaning,
I send a prayer but do not expect an instant fix.
Winning is much like MONOPOLY decisions,
and with a jumble- SCRABBLE of choices I pen words;
so, the world will know my sorrow and visions,
and then, I send my words drifting like beautiful birds.
You may think oh, BALDERDASH to what I am writing,
but my existence is an intricate OPERATION worth fighting.
_____________________________
February 15, 2019
Poetry/Rhyme/Anyone Game
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1115-227-19
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Anyone Game?
sponsor, Carol Connell
Third Place
"That's utter balderdash," I loudly screamed
you can't catch a dragon with a mousetrap.
This operation proves you have no clue
we're in trouble; put on your thinking cap!
I'm sorry, but luck is not on our side
and we don't have the time for dissension.
Apples to apples we don't stand a chance
it's your life; you had best pay attention.
Jumpy, you're frightened of your own shadow
and before nightfall you'll be hearing things.
Setting traps is a total waste of time
it's a foolish plan, for dragons have wings.
You boggle my mind; I have to speak out
let’s let common sense affect the outcome.
Don't risk getting seen, until we spot it
and don’t attack it with pitchforks, that’s dumb.
We'll need to do everything in stealth mode
using a password other than guess who.
And by employing our wits, we’ll listen
for a kerplunk; dragons like water too.
And then we’ll fling out all our fishing nets
that we'll secretly prepare in advance.
And hope it gets hopelessly entangled
for I think drowning it is our best chance.
(Quatrain)
Mar. 04, 2019
She said she’d be a minute, that she’d be there in a mo
She called down stairs, “Give me a tick, then I’ll be set to go.”
She said she’d be down shortly, that she’d be down in a flash
She said, “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail and then we’re set to dash.”
She said she’d be no time at all and then we can get on
And then she reassured me that she would be down anon
“In the twinkling of an eye,” she said… but that was rather rash
When she said, “Before you know it,” that was total balderdash
She said, “I’ll be there in a trice,” which sounded rather iffy
But not as bad as when she’d said, “I’ll be down in a jiffy.”
Directly; in an instant; any time now; before long
All these words and more she used… but all of them were wrong
Hocus Pocus, Balderdash,
Newspapers print horror and trash.
Oligarchs hungry for extra cash,
To add to their enormous stash.
Nervous police officers feel the heat,
When they caution terrorists in the street,
They no longer walk the beat,
They have cars with safety seats.
Police cars drive around at night,
Warning louts that curse and fight,
Often these thugs take flight
Making the cops chase them with all their might.
Sadly the world needs cops.
We will need them until the crime rate stops.
When you see someone coming, a cropper
Phone the station, and they will send a copper.
Let’s pester Uncle Fester
After dafter Luxon
Pushed the button
Welcomed every glutton
To the isles of mutton
Theme of the meme
Team New Zealand
It does seem
No longer a
Stronger eclectic sceptic
Spanked by the rank
Septic tank stream
Peptic Pyramid scheme
Grand slam.. glam sham scam
Desperate Dan or Tangerine tan plan
God damn..American dream
Our rancour on social media
Danker seedier leaders crimes
Hanker for every greedier
Rhymes with banker
Sleazier golden geezer visas
Accept any offers to
Fill their many coffers
Brokery.. jiggery pokery
Immunity without impunity
To the unity of community
Profanity of their vanity
Insanity of their depravity
Clarity...disparity not charity
Tramples ample wokery
Our amazing landscape
Instead becomes their escape
Coined..after all they’ve purloined
Jolly jape…no red tape
Not being rash
But it is a rash
Debunk the gunk & funk
Forsaking the avarice
Taking the pis*
Bliss abyss monk
Crass..brash..flash git
S***k a chunk of cash
From their balderdash stash
Making..a complete hash of it
Fake elite on the take
As they see fit
Billionaire boys ploys annoys
Replete yet still cheat
Have your cake and eat it
Our government just envoys
For a small fee..sweet
Deploys the swanky..w**ky
Yankee all about me
Time to flee plea
They lit the fire
Liar & denier
Dug the quagmire
Piety for impropriety
Moolah Messiah ruler
High flyer pariah
Crueler society
Who when the s**t
Does hit the fan
No fibs..his nibs gets
First dibs on cribs
Outlier masterplan zen..know
Then where to go
Can always hunker down
In a spick & span den
Their Queenstown bunker
Amen
It seems it takes reams of paperwork to get things done nowadays.
You can become so snarled in red tape that it'll leave you in a daze!
I wonder how Noah would've coped with such onerous fiddle-faddle,
Had panels and boards been involved to design for him a simple paddle!
Did he have building codes and hordes of bureaucrats to appease,
Or pesky environmentalists hugging the gopherwood trees?
Was there an OSHA lurking about enforcing inane regulations?
Such balderdash would've added to his heap of frustrations!
Was an ASPCA "watchdog" there fretting about all the creatures,
Insisting that cages and stalls have the latest comfort features?
Was their a labor union hovering nigh demanding a living wage?
Such piffle would've launched Noah into a towering rage!
Had Noah heeded those who showered him with sneer and scorn,
Or had he drowned in seas of red tape to stifle his Godly bourne,
He might've been discouraged and cancelled the whole affair.
That could've spelled doom for humankind right then and there!
But Noah's Boss, that Master Architect superintending from Above,
Gave Noah the specifications and a not too gentle shove!
Noah, Japheth, Ham and Shem hustled and the Ark soon took shape.
'Twas built on schedule, with no cost overruns and no red tape!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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