Up they bubble ,demanding their day
Every appetite in disorderly competition
Blindly leading the body frenziedly
To let them rip and have their way
That is the narrative of the id.
Who am I? How do I look to others?
Some days I like to be on my own
Others regard me as the life and soul of the party
Until I am overpowered by my passions
When the id dictates to my ego.
I am the gatekeeper
Patrolling the boundaries
To maintain a healthy balance
Between narcissism and impulse
In today's world that is a rocky road
Where it is a free for all
To take all you can get
Without consideration for others' dignity
Boundaries no longer exist
It's a thankless task being the superego
If I said I was lonely, suicidal, depressed,
Would you come to visit me
Would you sit with me while I cry
Or would you just ignore me
Then stand by my graveside asking why?
If I called out for help in the middle of the night
Would you answer my call
Would you persuade me not to give up the fight
Or would you put your phone on silent
And cry when it's just too late?
I've battled my mind all my life,
Behind the fake smile, the hilarious laugh.
I've been the life and soul of the party
While battling thoughts that I want to die.
Wondering if it's really worth another try.
Yet try is what I shall continue to do,
I must continue to battle through every day
Because I never want those I love
To be standing by my graveside
Wondering why?
2019 Susan Logan
I'm the kid staring into the shop window
Without a penny to spend
I am the hopeless cursed romantic
Without any roses or valentines to send
I'm the life and soul of the party
But feels rejection like daggers to the heart
The one who no longer dares to dream
Because they always fall apart
I am the child without no playmates
The frightened kitten kicked out into the snow
The dweller lost in limbo
In dark places that I only know
My life is a lonely uncharted island
Barron of life where nothing grows.
The days go by in a flash
Another day wasted my hopes dashed
A prisoner by fate
Thrown head first through hells gate
A thousand cuts to my heart
My confidence at an all time low
My sanity tormented and ripped apart.
A shadow of my former self
A dusty old book no one wants to read
Left upon the shelf
Someone who desired love
But is resigned to little more than lust
That I disgust
I'm the man crawling dying of thirst in the parched desert sun
I sure know what pain and hurt is
But I've yet to discover life and fun.
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015. June.
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