There was a time
Of life with joy and happiness
Not a single concern
Now I just have regrets to look back at
Little by little
The steps I take come to naught
Sadness and self pity
Make myself filled with apathy
With cowardliness as my virtue,
Of living a fulfilled life
I dream of everyday
Whilst the world dismantles my reality
Thorns and rusty nails form my way
In every step I take
All I have are flesh wounds and bleeding feet to show for
My days are filled with frenzied motions
Going through the moves
I end up as a saddlebag
Filled with useless rocks
Fear and regret as they’re my arms
Despair and desperation are my limbs
I trudge on, unable to shake off
Dreams and wants drawn and quartered by my fears and incapacitation
Thank you God for making me a coward.
Insurmountable or so I thought
So I began to shut down
Eventually curling into a fetal position
Procrastination wiped out possibilities
Depression set in
I looked at it as a mountain without steps
There is no way, I thought
I will have to quit my job
I cannot do this!
The more I verified this thinking
The closer I got to full blown
Incapacitation
I could barely move now
I was worthless
not only as an employee but as a human being
So I left this job
to pursue a new one
things went well the first week or so
until I found a new mountain….
Fingers linger
Thoughts flying everywhere and
Stumble
Crumble
What was I thinking, where does this
word come from
How is it written
How come that in my head thousands of lines tumble
And not a word leaves my fingers
My thoughts fumble
What was I thinking, I cannot do this
They said I could never do this
Gather my thoughts sufficiently
Succinctly
Talk without stutter or tics
Don't they know my thoughts are racing
RAGING
Myriads images are playing
Hide and seek:
Come catch us!
Incapacitation feeds determination
Nothing will ever be easy anymore
Better be prepared boy and write your poems
Ride your wheels
Stop speaking with your mouth
To begin with you were too loud
Anyway!
Let your hands talk for you
Even if it takes your brain a while
To make your fingers type that smile
It isn't courage that you lack,
So work, and don't look back!
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