Funnygreen Poems | Examples


Greenback Blood

Rogue, conniving, greedy leeching tick
Smells of money's fresh ink, makes me sick
Tailored suits, polished shoes
Bet you have green stool ooze!
Money makes green blood, sweat, tears and tricks!


For the lawyer limerick by Carolyn D.
Form: Limerick

March Seventeenth

I seem to have been blessed with luck this past St. Patrick’s Day. I bought a (green)
Honda accord. The bruise on my eye has now changed from black to green; and I drank so
much booze I may have ruptured my spleen. My girl had a headache so we passed on the sex;
that was good with my play friend whom she quaintly calls Rex. The green on my cheese
didn’t hurt me at all; and there’s water cress growing in my horses stall. Green apple
Pippins; lamb and mint jelly; and a boxer with mittens known as Irish Joe Kelly. And over
the rainbow before she got up; she found out the hard way; that wasn’t beer in his cup.  A
red head with green eyes; who’s looking at me; and happy Saint Patrick’s I have to like
what I see.
Form: Rhyme


My Green Thumb

My Green Thumb


Whenever I bought a plant and tried
To keep it watered and well fed
The plant just shrivelled up and died
Now all the plants I have are dead.

I gave them light or lots of shade
Did everything I was told
Talked to them when they seemed to fade
Kept them free from bugs and mould.

I babied them and gave them drops
The best earth is what I used
Made sure their roots had spacious pots
But they died, I’m so confused.

Well, nothing seems to work for me
A green thumb I can’t make
So if I want a plant or tree
I guess it will be fake.

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