Good morning Mr. Sunshine your journey's underway
Have you come across any pocket penguins on your rise today?
I'm looking for one specifically, on her I am sold
You would know her if you saw her, she's a beauty to behold
Well let me tell you some things more to help you to recall
First of all she sings like fire, she's brighter than them all
Secondly she's passionate in what she wants to do
She'll keep you on your toes so you'd better think things through
Thirdly, if she asks a question it's more likely than it's not
She already knows the answer she's just seeing what you've got
Fourthly she's so feminine, as womanly as they come
Her tastes are just impeccable, in all second to none
And finally, though this isn't all the things that I could here devise
She's got the most captivating, incredible blue eyes
A pocket penguin yes indeed, but what I say is true
I'd love to have her with me and if you knew her you would too
McGee settled down one cool autumn night
Reached for a bag, a match and his pipe
Leaned back in his chair, thought life had been good
Though times had been tough, he did what he should
Young Shawn always came to his dad for advice
So McGee always gave it, short and concise
But came the odd question, That's plagued man for years
And McGee had to face it in spite of his fears
Shawn asked it slowly, preparing for strife
"Dad, what should I look for, when I look for a wife" ?
"Shawn my dear boy, you've been a good son,
do you think this could wait, you're still awfully young"
"Dad I'm a man I get older each day
I'm in need of advice, so what do you say" ?
"OK, my dear son, there are five things to learn
Nothing else really should be a concern ---
First, find a woman that cooks and can clean ---
And Second a woman who's kind, never mean ---
Thirdly a woman who thinks with her head---
And Fourthly a woman who proves good in bed ---
The fifth's most important but don't tell your mother---
It's important these women, never meet one another"
Telephones.
These things cause more aggro thanb any single object in the universe,
Firstly if you ring a service you're afflicted by a sadist female voice telling you to know your
place and follow the instructions,
Secondly if you phone someone with a mobile then its practically impossible to reach them
because they're high on cocaine,
Thirdly if you try to phone a friend they say 'I'm busy can you call back later,
And fourthly if someone phones you then its probably a company's recorded message saying
congratulations you've won the east coast of majorca,
Fifthly if you haven't been totally p##### off by now then the devil calls and tells you,
You're going to hell for eternity.
I've thrown mine out.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
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