(To be sung to Cruella DeVil from Disney's 101 Dalmatians)
Pollina DeVil. Pollina DeVil.
She ensures that her pollen
Makes you feel ill.
She wants you to buy
Her allergy pills.
Pollina. Pollina.
She loves seeing your
Money fill her till.
Payments to Pollina DeVil.
She's found a way to make
And spread fake pollen.
She loves to hear you cough
And see you sneeze.
Your red and itchy eyes,
More products you will buy.
High pollen counts
Floating in the breeze.
This selfish skunk,
She markers her map.
She plans where to hide them
Then set off each trap.
This villain must pay
The peoples compo bill.
Pollina. Pollina DeVil.
Categories:
compo, character, song,
Form: Lyric
LOOKING AT MY SPAM
A guy with a busy-life like me has everything he could want, right at fingertips:
I can “stop snoring with a dentist-designed mouthpiece”
And can pay for it, after I “check my credit rating on line”.
Everyone I know should offer me “Congratulations” [ because I ]
“have been chosen to join the National Association of Professional Wrestlers”.
On the other hand my interests may lean towards the aesthetic:
And I could “learn at the University of Phoenix” until they award me
“the Degree on-line of beautician and cosmetologist”.
As consolation, I "can also obtain 70% off all [my] Viagra needs” -
Never knew, but older guys tell me it’s a drug to help ‘their health’.
Finally if the drugs and education can’t help, I can pursue
“Lawsuits for serious injury and compo” with those well-known
Ambulance chasers, Messrs. Ripoff, Fleecem & Grabbit.
Maybe writing a poem about reading spam is itself a symptom
Of my empty life. . . . . . . . . I really gotta get out more.
Categories:
compo, funny, me, education, me,
Form: Prose Poetry