Best Underhanded Poems
What underhanded monkey business
razzle-dazzle bull is this?
Whose double-crossing, flimflam scam,
debauchery or hocus sham
is wheeling dealing in romance,
putting lovers in a trance?
Antics, capers or witch's brew,
enchanting hymns or shaman's stew,
whose quackery or voodoo drink
made Casanova stop and think
and turned the ancient lovers cold;
poor Romeo and nymphs of old?
Perhaps black magic's potent gel,
or craftiness or wicked spell,
a clever con or master hoax,
or just some trickster playing jokes.
Whatever ruse that works the arts,
mumbo jumbo seduces hearts!
Categories:
underhanded, funny, love
Form:
Couplet
The koala did it I heard him say
He left his fingerprints at the scene that day
And was underhanded in what he did
The case is broken that’s why he hid
It wasn’t me who stole the car
Driving it away so very far
And you can see when we’re together
We are nothing alike as you can gather.
© Paul Warren Poetry
Koalas have fingerprints similar to humans.
Categories:
underhanded, fun,
Form:
Ballad
In the shadows moving with stealth
Preying on the weak his adrenalin to his health.
A vile slithering serpent, an agenda to bring harm
Beware the snare of his extended arm
The doer of evil, the maker of hate
The spreader of vicious rumors.always on his plate
A spinning Web of lies,,to reel in the naive
A creator of falsehoods,,to twist what you
believe.
So keep your guard up high, protect your fragile heart
From this monsters clutches before he tears you apart.
And to you the pretender you know who you are
Karma will find you it knows who you are.
Categories:
underhanded, anti bullying, for him,
Form:
Rhyme
Secrets could be the reason for my insanity,
Such bloody burdens deserving of such profanity,
They may hurt me, anger me, or cause me turmoil,
But never mind how high the price, I will never unravel.
Under the rose they will remain for all eternity,
Behind closed doors forever in my safe keep,
Protected and guarded with a cloak and dagger,
Tame your inquiring mind for curiosity’s a killer.
No one likes intruders invading the mysteries in their heads,
If I uproot my precious roses, two may keep if one's dead,
Truth is everyone’s got a hush-hush kept inside their minds,
Whether it's to hide a little lamb or conceal some underhanded crime.
So don't ask me again 'cause now you know how I feel,
A secret’s best a secret if it’s never revealed.
Categories:
underhanded, emotions, fun, perspective,
Form:
Rhyme
We have a new opponent entering the game
Bugs has some competition and Marvin is his name
He’s a bit out of this world but that’s nothing new
He gets very, very angry, but that’s just between me and you
We invaded his home planet looking for clues
He has a ray gun on his hip and some radical views
He’s hellbent on destruction so he’ll fit right in
He is shorter than most with pale green skin
He doesn’t like poor bugs or the look on his face
With that being said, it should be one hell of a race
His health care plan is second to none
He is rude and obnoxious and not very fun
Marvin the Martian is now on the hill
He’s coming for old Bugs and he is really a pill
Underhanded and dirty, he has a bag full of tricks
He’s greedy and sneaky, just right for politics
Categories:
underhanded, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Give God all the credit and all of the praise
For all that He's done for you during your hectic days
And if you're a witness to His miraculous deeds you need to shout out
So that your praise and worship of Him is never in doubt
No matter your situation or what you're facing in life
Don't get stuck on personal pain turn it over to Christ
When Jesus rode into the city on Palm Sunday
It was a triumphant, jubilant and very loud display
In attendance were those who believed, those who witnessed
and those who received His wonderful works
As well as the Pharisees, the haters, the hanger-oners and a few jerks
Yet Jesus rode on moving towards His destiny
He did not get stuck on His personal tragedy
We need to be like Jesus moving towards our fate
We need to be like Jesus and not hesitate
But let's not get it twisted we need to understand
That Jesus suffered most every bad thing that could happen to man
Betrayed,denied, condemned and criticized
Arrested, beaten, tortured and then crucified
But if you're a witness to the miracles that God has done
You need to give a shout out to Jesus the Christ His Son
Now Judas the Disciple had a weakness and love for coin
And the Devil used this against him to have it going on
Plotting and persuing his weakness to the extreme
Turning it into wickedness and underhanded schemes
But God had a predestined plan
He sent Mary Magdalene
Who anointed Jesus with precious perfume
In preparation for His body being entombed
On Palm Sunday on that donkey Jesus did ride
On Monday and Tuesday at the temple He sermonized
On Spy Wednesday a deadly and underhanded deal was put into place
On Maunday Thursday at the Last Supper they broke bread after saying grace
And on Good Friday from Sun up to sundown He was demoralized
And beaten the entire time until He was crucified
But that is not how the week came to end
On Easter Sunday Jesus arose to be the salvation for all men
So if you're a witness to the goodness and the sacrificing love of Jesus the Christ
Give Him a shout out for being the head of your life
Categories:
underhanded, easter, faith, golf, jesus,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
The deceivers play with the receivers
The fakers are all the takers
The greedy abuse on the needy
The sheep are prey for the wolves to keep
Abortion a contortion of a fast fix
Killing for the willing just for kicks
Rape an escape for the twisted
The abandoned are underhanded and blacklisted
Love afloat on an Angel’s wing
As the earth does carousingly cry
The birds still joyfully sing
As the lachrymal watch us die
The heavens are full of laughter
When the saddened get never after
Rise you children of the dark
For it is time for you to embark.
A dust bowl for the rust soul
The care free shall stare and see
The huddled hurt within the cuddled dirt
For we must minister to the sinister.
Rhyme scheme...
1 Stanza...aa,bb,cc,dd
2 Stanza...aab,ccb,dde,ffe
3 Stanza...a,b,a,b
4 Stanza...a,a,b,b
5 Stanza...abab,cdcd,efef,gg
Aug.22.2016
Five Rhyming Stanza's - 5 only - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Broken Wings
Categories:
underhanded, abuse, anti bullying, betrayal,
Form:
Rhyme
I know we shouldn't overeat
And junk food's a definite no-no
But I admit I'm a fast food junkie
Who cares if my big belly shows
Don't dance for nobody anymore
That's silly stuff's gone forever
People either like me for who I am
Or bite me, I mean... whatever!
Happy as hell in my bountiful skin
Not trying to impress the ladies
Content to just sit and eat myself silly
Nothing underhanded or shady
“Silly old man” I heard someone say
But I'm nearing the end of the road
Allow me this pleasure before I depart
My cravings are on overload!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Wrote this before going my weight loss campaign!
Categories:
underhanded, humorous, me,
Form:
Quatrain
Given in solemn promise
An Oath to always Defend
Those things held most precious
God.. Country.. and friends
The creak of well oiled armor
the heft of a sword well worn
the gift of the ability to protect
the weight of duty borne
With a promise to walk with honor
a young knight rises to the task
given by traitorous advisors
to guard a lonesome pass
Sly, sneaky and underhanded
traitors plot a monarchs demise
soulless assassins cut through the night
brought short by stern unflinching eyes
He drew his sword and made ready
to withstand the charge of fate
knowing it would be the one against the many
knowing aid would come to late
Resolute against their wickedness
his stature seemed to grow
and as blades flash all around him
he felt the world begin to slow
He stood firm and steady
as blades sought to pierce his back
and knew what must be accomplished
despite all that he might lack
And though assassins fell around him
their blades in turn drank deep
his destiny plain before him
to join them soon in sleep
He stands alone in silence now
honored to have done his best
a final thought passes through his mind
to give him eternal rest
A hero is not a man
invincible to all beneath the sun
a hero simply refuses to die
until the job is done
Categories:
underhanded, adventure, warhero,
Form:
Quatrain
When the veil is pulled away subject exposed story
what motivation drives these blind merchants
let's lay it out clearly from waters of your soul tabled
evidence points to an unstable world circus painting creeping bugs
following a trail of crumbs Judas kissing the other cheek
Where muppets pull all the strings attached accord
true crafts are undervalued directly honest speaking
making deals to undercut facts highlights a bought body
wages go backwards in time for those whom work hard
The upper crust consider themselves royalty in suits
when law of the land works for mere crumbs of their table
corruption's one disease of these needy vermin sinking fangs into
the icing of our cakes rats infested without hope
Justice is no longer held with value anymore
as the poor are robbed of their rights daily important
stripping values is the underhanded deals in tribunals hanging joke
Now slaves to the beggars purse cast as worthless
imperial law has been enforced through this savagery served
by poor management with silver lining fingers subject pollution begins
inwards always taking away but never ever giving back
Stealing becomes a bad example set telling both sides of the snakes tale
lies become the normal gender bending truth far fetched bigots
slanting this towards the underhanded source decisions effect reality
we should nail each and every deed that holds ransom to democracy
Categories:
underhanded, abortion, abuse, conflict, corruption,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
Ultra-conservative
undertaker umpires
upperclassmen unit;
Unique undergrads used
Unceremonious
Underhanded unions--
Uncooperative!
THIRD PLACE WINNER
Written April 30, 2021
for "Pleiades 'U' Contest"
sponsored by Kim Merryman
Categories:
underhanded, humor, word play,
Form:
Verse
You must have heard of “planned obsolescence”
But manufacturers say it ain't so
A devious mind surely thought this one up
Must be absolutely rolling in dough!
An automobile could be made to last forever
If these guys would play by the book
But once they discovered the money involved
They're decidedly hopelessly hooked
And what about toner for your printing machine
Imagine if it lasted a lifetime
You could buy a yacht with the money you save
You don't have to be an Einstein
To figure out what these shysters are doing
Their bottom line is all that's important
So what if they have to be a wee bit underhanded
It's disgusting and absolutely abhorrent
Well hello, great masters of devious deceit
We're on to your tricks and games
But we carry on with our thumb up our bum
We've only ourselves to blame!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Categories:
underhanded, social, money,
Form:
Quatrain
This Space for You...
Darling, my darling, how I long to see you so,
Such a long week of papers, pencils and meetings galore,
Prepare yourself for such a surprise as you surmise an unseen row,
Thusly have I, justly I espy this space for you rose petals and a sweetness which
lies for you tersely in store,
A love seat owned which contains no love,
A meal for two but one undone this gustatory banquet an unaccompanied
contamination,
The tenebrous night a pauper's precarious glove,
An untimely immersion the dawn's perversion hope's demise this unmitigated
annihilation,
No skies for this fledging, a floundering fish without a sea,
A body with no heart, a gaze devoid of a glance,
A rhythm with no dancer, a toll with no fee,
Flavors bereft of any taste, a trust flailing askance,
My ring for no finger, the path that never ends,
Even a sound of silence unspoken, toiling bells that do not ring,
A card for no Valentine, words of adoration equivocate and descend,
This heartbeat lacking a beat, the stinger without a sting,
My gold with no luster, a ruby with no shine, closeness yet never being close,
A cheer for no victory, the desire lacking passion,
This vapid illusion broken by your repudiation an asphyxiation my final rose,
This space for you a tender touch I never knew the gift returned bleeding my soul to
her an inconsequential reaction.
My frail fragility falling before my frivolous failure,
Void this emptiness spaces yet lie sown these trivial ties,
A baneful blessing the babe inside upon sorrow's deeps I the sailor,
Underhanded by life's whim still remaining this space for you my harrowed brow
words untrue despondency your treacherous disguise.
Categories:
underhanded, depression, introspection, loss, space,
Form:
Rhyme
Cutting Cheese
There once was a bureaucrat
Whose body made sounds where he sat
It would be underhanded
Were he reprimanded
Without a complete list of stats
So his supervisor kept up a log
Of each time he let out a fog
It’s not really my fault
He said I can’t halt
I’ve a medical skewed apologue
But with 60 blasts all written down
In 17 days, the guy found
The charges would stick
He must do something quick
To end his rear end making sound
The Social Security Administration
Has certainly added to my consternation
They recorded each stink
Which just makes me think
They have set the low bar for this nation
So I beg you please
If you must cut the cheese
Don’t cut the cheese while at work
For the unions have rules
Gave your bosses the tools
To publically call out your quirk
Another true story I learned about on the web
Categories:
underhanded, social, stress, work,
Form:
Rhyme
Like a glance I catch you
In between seemingly innocent exchanges
When you lean slowly in like the deaf and the dumb
With your underhanded handiness
Your adorable strangeness
Oh, how I see through right through your fragile facade
Sweet girl, boyfriended, gorgeously flawed
The question is: do you see it in me, too?
I am forbidden,
But what is that to you?
A rule?
Tell no one and no one will know
You and I are star-crossed and wander back even so
Fall into bed
Crash like porcelain, picture frames, plain-faced wives
You can’t hide the curiosity quivering behind your eyes
At first I smile as you warily bide your time
When I know, just as well,
That you soon will be mine.
Categories:
underhanded, longing, love, lust, sensual,
Form:
Rhyme