Best Tooted Poems

Imagine if our poop was a pretty pink
Or smelled like a dozen red roses
Beautiful music was heard when we tooted
There'd be no need for holding...

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Once upon a time there was a pug who's name was Doug.
He wore uggs, and played with slugs.
Doug looked like a bug.
Also doug has a...

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Fannie Strumpet is a flatulent floozy
With each wiggle her rump lets out a doozy
She blows out so much gas
Foul vapor from her a$$
It's asphyxiating and...

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The second house this year to go under in Atlantic City.
This is a scenario that does not look too pretty.
A once venerable establishment will soon...

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Same within.Introspection of Sea Change

08/06/2016
Lemuel Griffiths
aka
Lem Gunn




Fiercest of battles above my head,
Same within.
 
Blue battling the grey,
'Never ending turmoil throughout time.

''I coulda' saved her, 
Kept...

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 A funny thing happened on the way to the Art Museum, 
I saw a seagull fly above a man wearing a soldier’s beret.
He landed...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps...

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"50 Words for Poe: Keys"

He threw the car keys over to her
“Freedom keys babe”, he purred
“Silver Lady’s my girl” she said,

This he understood.

“Freedom keys babe,...

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I once knew a lad who played the cornet
Tooted ‘til he broke out in a cold sweat
He met a strumpet
Who liked his trumpet
He is blowing...

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There is a legend of a cowboy down in Texas
To whom they give the sobriquet of Pecos Bill.
It's said he rooted and he tooted
As across...

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As the day slowly fades into a much welcomed and peaceful night.
   The sound of crickets and bullfrogs serenade me as I turn...

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Sunrise comes for me
Buildings shade halts it’s progress
Sucky city life


My city sunset
Reflected off the buildings
Awesome to behold


Prey in the city
variety a plenty
Beware the stalkers


She sleeps...

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A flying saucer landed 
In a farmer's fallow field. 
It had come from far away, 
Beyond Orion's starry shield. 
The aliens were mystified. 
They giggled...

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12/5/20


Better choose quick
Just might lose if
You don't do it

Awesome or a nuisance
It either was or wasn't in the blueprints
Still a loner, or already shot by...

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Let’s have a picnic I said! All eager and stuff.
My refrigerator was bare, which was a bit rough.
By the time my guest arrived I had...

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