Best Snooty Poems
What is the point? Asked Mrs. Snooty.
The point is I could not make up my mind when we
were building, so I said put all three in.
We are not talking light switches.
We are talking light fixtures, and they are
gorgeous. I love them.
Not in the middle like most small eight by eight
rooms, but marching down the middle of the ceiling
in a proud line.
The point is, I like it this way, and it is my house.
I love color, and they are all colorful.
How did I raise someone this prissy?
I wonder to myself.
Human foible is not at heart,
within anyone’s sacred start.
But within one’s mind, the snooty,
supercilious, haughty parody.
Thus in the Monsoon’s rain,
the haughtiest, first feel the pain.
With their noses turned up in rain,
they must think drowning is a gain.
Awesome is good rain's retreat,
never life's lessons a repeat.
As for me I think love is neat,
useless are facades of feat.
When repetitions of one’s rain,
be repetitions of one’s pain.
Ask one’s self where is the gain,
from repetitions of strives vain!
Put vain strife into reverse,
turn and look into love’s purse.
Not one creature is of a curse,
but love in action is the verse.
Contest: Anything Goes
In honor of: Deborah Guzzi
Placed #12
The Snooty Hotel
By Elton Camp
The hotel was nicer than usual for us.
It looked like maybe a four-star plus.
If we tried to be friendly to those there,
We were firmly rebuffed by a cold stare.
“Let’s have a bit of fun with these snoots,
We can do it if we will work in cahoots.”
My wife and I devised us a funny plan.
It was on the down elevator that it began.
The car was packed front to the back.
As soon as it moved we began to yak.
“Did you chain the gorilla just now?
Do it the safer way I showed you how?”
“Yes, you know what happened before.
He went berserk and tore down the door.”
None of them had a single word to say,
But their faces, their horror did betray.
“Well, I just hope it will be enough.
That time, he did some violent stuff.
Those three guests he ripped apart.
I hope nothing like that he’ll start.”
“Those chains aren’t in the best shape.
I don’t know how much they can take.
I’m glad that we did about all we can.
We don’t need another hotel us to ban.”
At the lobby level, the door slid open.
None of them acted like we’d spoken.
We continued to talk as we walked away.
Frantic at the desk, we heard them say:
“Those two people must surely be insane.
How in this hotel can you let them remain?
A vicious gorilla they have in their suite.
We demand that they be put on the street.”
A pineapple in a bowl of kiwi
Stand tall and proud, mom said
But I would rather, they didn’t see me
Standing high, above their heads
Mother was always so proud
Of my textured skin and headdress
I found it, unbecoming and loud
Standing apart from all the rest
How incredibly awkward
Being the center of every display
Just once, I’d like to be offered
A big enough bowl, to lay
It occurred to me, just recently
The color beneath their skin
Is bold and green with envy
Which explains my lack of friends
The Snooty Hotel
By Elton Camp
The hotel was nicer than usual for us.
It looked like maybe a four-star plus.
If we tried to be friendly to those there,
We were firmly rebuffed by a cold stare.
“Let’s have a bit of fun with these snoots,
We can do it if we will work in cahoots.”
My wife and I devised us a funny plan.
It was on the down elevator that it began.
The car was packed front to the back.
As soon as it moved we began to yak.
“Did you chain the gorilla just now?
Do it the safer way I showed you how?”
“Yes, you know what happened before.
He went berserk and tore down the door.”
None of them had a single word to say,
But their faces their horror did betray.
“Well, I just hope it will be enough.
That time, he did some violent stuff.
Those three guests he ripped apart.
I hope nothing like that he’ll start.”
“Those chains aren’t in the best shape.
I don’t know how much they can take.
I’m glad that we did about all we can.
We don’t need another hotel us to ban.”
At the lobby level, the door slid open.
None of them acted like we’d spoken.
We continued to talk as we walked away.
Frantic at the desk, we heard them say:
“Those two people must surely be insane.
How in this hotel can you let them remain?
A vicious gorilla they have in their suite.
We demand that they be put on the street.”
the persnickety, snooty, snotty cat queen put on airs
as if there were not a ridiculous succulent on her head
I watched her climb those red-carpeted prissy throne stairs
and thought she must be low class, common, and pretty lowbred.