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Best Smart Ass Poems

Below are the all-time best Smart Ass poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of smart ass poems written by PoetrySoup members


Premium Member All Hat and No Cattle
They hung around the beer joint with the finest Western wear
with thumbs tucked in their belt loops and such a studly air.
But those boots weren't...

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© Roy Jerden  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: smart ass, humorous, old, time, ,
Form: Cowboy Poetry



Premium Member Lucifer Gets the Gig
“We have never heard the devil's side of the story, God wrote all the book.” 
Anatole France

"I heard you wanted to see me Boss?", Lucifer...

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© Roy Jerden  Create an image from this poem.
Categories: smart ass, heaven, satire, universe,
Form: Prose
Special Forces
I ain't like nothing you ever heard before
 I tell you what when I get done
we'll see if you still feel the same


know im known,...

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Categories: smart ass, baptism, courage, tribute, old,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member Think Outside the Box
“Think outside the box!!”
Damn, as I age it’s become…….
				“Stay out of the box.”

It’s mind over matter.
If you don’t mind……
			it don’t matter.

Fine wine mellows
Good cheese ages…….
			We...

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Categories: smart ass, age, humor, introspection,
Form: Free verse
Deadbeat Dad's
All these years at home, me and my momma alone
Daddy on the run, headed for the sun, he must of been..
Because I obviously wasn't his...

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Categories: smart ass, absence, abuse, anger, angst,
Form: Free verse



Even More Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day
ON THE ROCKS
 
Talk about bad luck, I hit rock bottom and broke a leg
One advantage to hitting rock bottom is at least I know...

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Categories: smart ass, funny, me, day, horse,
Form: Light Verse
Premium Member The Official Jar Opener
I was the official jar opener in our house

Until this jar of Bick's Pickled Beets

Knocked me off my perch

Mr. He-Man here is now fighting off...

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Categories: smart ass, humorous,
Form: Narrative
Premium Member 12 O'Clock 12 O'Clock 12 O'Clock
12 o'clock... 12 o'clock... 12 o'clock!
How do you set this damn clock
Thought of bashing it to bits with a hammer
To get the damn flashing to...

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Categories: smart ass, humorous, prayer, technology,
Form: Quatrain
Premium Member Lying Leprechaun
I caught me a green leprechaun
He lied said his gold was all gone
I gave him a kick
He spit out a brick
I kicked his smart ass...

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Categories: smart ass, humor,
Form: Limerick
Good In Poetry, Poor In Carpentry
There was this smart ass way back in high school,          
sharp as a fiddle but so...

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Categories: smart ass, funny,
Form: Rhyme
The Raisin In the Box of Chocolates
"I agree," Bayard murmured while looking at the few people walking I across the street. Summer was over and the boy was beginning to get...

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Categories: smart ass, cheer up, deep, inspirational,
Form: Narrative
Premium Member Possibilities
Possibilities

Another gorgeous B. C. day – a walk – no driving
in an age, - consciousness of – that has been arriving.
On this fine day, on...

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Categories: smart ass, girl, drug, universe,
Form: Rhyme
Stop
Stop
Sign
Red light Green light
Stop running by the pool
Stop annoying your siblings
Stop picking your nose
Stop Drop and Roll
Stop talking in class
Stop making out behind the gym
Stop...

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Categories: smart ass, anxiety, culture,
Form: Free verse
Premium Member 12 O'Clock 12 O'Clock 12 O'Clock
12 o'clock... 12 o'clock... 12 o'clock!
How does one set the damn clock
Had to put a sheet on my new clock radio
To get the damn flashing...

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Categories: smart ass, angst, funny, prayer, technology,
Form: Quatrain
Hey Noah
Hey there! Noah, my dear old friend.
     I just wanted you to know, the guys down at the lodge
are cracking quite...

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Categories: smart ass, bible, silly,
Form: Prose

Book: Reflection on the Important Things