Best Self Respecting Poems
The platypus excels at evolution
And displays a super cool solution
For making his way amidst the muck,
He don't run aground. He don't get stuck.
Of this, the platypus would never dream
As a self-respecting monotreme.
Indeed, a platypus of station
Will employ electrolocation.
Categories:
self respecting, animal, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
The fairies harbor secrets; many humans should not know.
Some will give one away for a price; that trade is very rare.
Make a deal with a fairy and it’s for life.
No self-respecting fairy, would take less than human service for a lifetime.
What a fairy expects of a human slave; you won’t want to know.
Fortunately, deals with fairies are, quite rare.
Forget your steak dinner; in the land of fairies; you won’t get steak rare.
Fairy food, you’ll eat and fairies take no animal’s life.
How to cook fairy food, you’ll learn; it’s something a fairy slave must know.
Once you know how; your new talent will be rare but, remember that you made that trade for, your life.
Categories:
self respecting, adventure, fairy, fantasy, image,
Form:
Tritina
People often get stuck on what to call their fish
and in many cases come up with ridiculous things.
They imagine some kind of greatness, attached to
naming, and they name them Moby, or Jaws, or Hannibal.
Some are poetic and flowing like water- Eulalie
or Aolani( Ay-o-lawn-ee) which means "Heavenly Cloud."
Some joke, and call them Sushi or Chips
which no self respecting pet suspects the meaning of …..
or, they invoke nature -with
Bubbles, Starlight or Pearl.
There was a puffer fish named Toto that became
a small attraction at a resort turtle pool
Beside a path of yellow stone he would surface -
squirt a perfect stream of water from his mouth
to the surprise and delight of passing tourists
daily upstaging resident sea turtles.
Categories:
self respecting, fish, funny, humor, pets,
Form:
Free verse
THE FALL OF THE WHITE ELEPHANT’S CAN’T FAIL IDEA
No self-respecting politician wanted to drink from that well
the self-inflicted delusion persisted for the faithful
they were shocked but not surprise when they learned
the head elephant had walked away with much cash
But his larcenous ways landed him in prison
Money, something very dear to his black heart,
or where his heart should have been,
felt good; he didn’t need the cash, he had said
he was wealthy and his multitudes believed his every lie
On and on he talked, the media checked his words
but to no avail nobody believed the lies the media reported
since they trusted their leader, no one questioned him,
lying became a part of his steady rhetoric and he escalated it
Until the day his forty thousand obvious lies were too much
and he lost the election by ten million votes
and true to his character he did not leave with dignity
he left violently
Not a word was heard throughout the broken party called the GOP
even they forgave him for absconding with much money
but the opposition had done its job of throwing the corrupt out
he and he was gone back to con-scam land where he had come from
But the gullible sycophants naively incapable of learning history's lessons
without critical analysis of what had brought down their party
immediately began searching for the one who could finesse the lies
their motto became "Stay True to the Big Lie" or "Ignorance is good"
The blind faithful obeyed his misguided verbal bellows
to vilify, discredit, attack and continue his false self-righteous ways
to obstruct the law that was in hot pursuit
the news that he was to be punished comforted the American citizen
But on and on they go lying and denying to this day
what the rest of the world knows to be true
but the demolished idea of establishing the next Fourth Reich
died when the cell door slammed shut
This land that's always searching for ways to perfect the imperfect law,
assist our sacred Constitution to forge forward
always seeking to instruct on freedom, liberty, justice
and improving those citizens' minds imbued with incalculable stupidity.
Categories:
self respecting, age, corruption, passion, patriotic,
Form:
Free verse
High class self respecting ladies have nothing to worry about me.I prefer low class ladies because they are more high class(and oftentimes more interesting and honest).
Categories:
self respecting, beautiful,
Form:
Burlesque
Goodnight to our Rome with all your garrisons
and your streets that have become
as loveless as empty barracks.
For you I will never weep.
After all,
your Senators
Who made the deals
To keep the last
Last
And the first bored
and lost in ennui,
govern the burning ruins
of the human city which evicted the cobbler
and used the electorate as a weapon
With unforgiving recoil
Which guarantees
that
the bottom will stay at the bottom
and dance to the music of the
midnight carousel.
2
Now that the middleman has been cast
To the prairie grass
With his own middle cut away
His fate was decided over lunch
The legal apparatus has fallen from its hinge
Leaving only the greatest felony
Unnamed.
And who are our neighbors
When we’re sentenced to the
Four year winter hotel?
Will they be the nameless ghosts
Evicted from their bodies by those
Who are afforded the right to escape the tombs
With kept wives in cheap furs
And Upper eastside penthouses.
And in all those apartments
All the beautiful people
Wash down oxycodone with fine wine
While bitching about the junkie below.
“Send the cops to clean up the drug
Problem,” they cry.
“All addictions should come with a ‘scrip.”
It takes a truly trained country
with few alternatives
to put a knife to its own throat
or hand it over
to an orange buffoon
with a poor hair cut
in a loveless room.
He always
lines up his bets
on what con will turn the American heart
into just another dead
theater
where it was all the show of shows.
And when the decision is made
The worst one is chosen.
The decision has certainly been made.
For what other country
Choses a landlord so crooked
All self-respecting cons
Walk past him
Never stopping at all
For fear he will pick their pockets clean
For he is the biggest con of all,
Who now has to do a sometimes honest man’s job.
Those he loved the least
Ignored all the papers
Who for once
Didn’t celebrate
The game of chance
But cried out
With the urgency of a siren
During an air raid
to pick the other.
While he spoke as one of the mob
His heart was that of a landlord
Looking to evict
All his useful idiots
From their lots.
For now he can expect nothing in the end
But to stand on the stairs
Or escalator
When all your Senators approach
smiling
with drawn knives.
“Et tu Sessions?”
Categories:
self respecting, anger, angst, anxiety, change,
Form:
Free verse
A spider spreads its web of silken threads
shimmering all silvery white by the lake
waiting guileless for preys to find their breads
Its way is not to tear victims to shreds
a kind of dignity is here at stake
a spider spreads its web of silken threads
To ensnare gently unwary flies' heads
showing a slow death dance they will partake
waiting guileless for preys to find their breads.
Self-respecting spiders are thoroughbreds
no tangled webs they weave for spinning sake
a spider spreads its web of silken threads.
widow spider catches the fly it weds
unlucky ones just follow in their wake
waiting guileless for preys to find their breads
wet tendrils of fog become beaded heads
a string of tiny diamonds they make
A spider spreads its web of silken threads
waiting guileless for preys to find their breads.
@jjote posted 06/09/16
Categories:
self respecting, fun,
Form:
Villanelle
It would seem much of the time that while so many so called self respecting, educated, so called independently minded women don't truly respect much or anything , often especially men, the so called women who are said to have no self respect truly respect everything to be truly respected, especially life and self interest and truly understand and respect men. As for me I respect anyone who respects me . I only judge that which spitefully judges. My idea of a relationship is being married to a great guy. That is myself , but being on the low down with the opposite gender. please, don't tell him. he's so jealous. ha. ha. footnote; is life about love and being a dove or just hate disguised as it's opposite. ask yourselves, please. honestly.
Categories:
self respecting, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form:
Alliteration
Cow chips and a bottle of piss,
perfect snack for your unclean lips
Hitting the fan
is a stale sewer smell
The six-by-twelve
room you’re living in
is a cancer cell
flush next to a toxic landfill
All of your friends are burp babies,
bigoted bums like you
Empty box heads full of odd dumpster tools
They come to your putrid place,
where everybody knows their rotten name
They squat down next to your face,
drunkenly foaming out their shame
And the vomit dip is getting latrine low,
while louder is getting the salty pretzel bellows
Rowdy cursing cheers,
foul looking leers ...
The kinda place where
any self-respecting woman
don’t wanna be near
So pass around another profane cup of fermented piss,
refill the potty mouth bowl with some more cow chips
A room reeking of
sour yellow teeth and smacking brown lips
Here’s jeers to you and your pagan pals:
always leaving the lid up, never closing the door
Neanderthal nimrods who don’t love to spray,
cavemen walking barefoot on the chip crumbs filthy floor
Here’s jeers to you, Gonzo,
draped in dung gear gutter-stained gray
You and your fly down
Mesozoic slugs have yourselves a maggot day
Categories:
self respecting, allusion, metaphor, satire, wisdom,
Form:
Light Verse
That was a nice move you just made
to get yourself crowned prom king
Checkerhead
But now you’ve graduated to playing chess,
and you can’t just jump the queen
You can’t jump her Amazon bones to win,
like you did silly Susan back in grade ten
Checkerhead
Those clumsy, bozo moves
ain’t gon make no self-respecting woman buckle
Your amateurish pick-up lines
will only make the opposite sex wanna chuckle
Checkerhead
Always trying to woo some stranger
into your bedroom
Never getting close enough to her heart,
to make her wanna jump the broom
Checkerhead
You’re just a natural born loser,
in case you didn’t hear what she just said
Her and her friends
are gon sweep you off the board,
and under the rug
Then squash your fragile ego like a little bedbug
I see the bulge in your fleshy pipe of lead just went dead,
did it now ...
Checkerhead
Categories:
self respecting, gender, humorous, image, parody,
Form:
Light Verse
Destroying liberty
takes away all self respecting good
Indoctrinating children into false beliefs
positions of power overturning values
Removing the way of the cross
from teachings underhanded acts
displayed against peace creates division
Replacing it with false doctrine
Shame I say on our state bodies
Unholy are the ways of pride
blind bats of envy filled with greed kills soul's
With your riches obtained by lies and deception
hidden by corrupt lawmakers the truth reveals
secrets a dark side yet to be addressed and policed
Heritics against the temple of our Lord's words
all the virtues of heaven are being removed
slowly as morals are the twisted visions
against a familie's respect and true guardianship
views on rearing has now come with a controlled status tag
Spear of destiny
I will kneel to serve you only
I pray for the white horsemen to come back
and cleanse this world of its sickness
that plagues our future generations
through ugliness lust holds position over truth
Categories:
self respecting, faith, god, light, pride,
Form:
Free verse
(First Love Yourself)
This man loved me for me
With all of my idiosyncrasies
Including the lunacy
Regardless of how I loved he
He was all about me
Not the beauty on the outside
Or the way I made HIM feel
He loved me for me
Just ME
Even my UGLY
Even my BEAST
No matter how I screamed or kicked or abused him
He was there
With all of him
What did I do with his undying love and devotion?
I threw it back at him in disgust
How could ALL of HIM leave ME feeling like this?
Unfulfilled, unhappy and unloving to him
Yet he stayed faithful and dedicated to me
I BLAMED him for loving me
I hated him for knowing the ugly in me
I HATED him for KNOWING and STILL loving me
I discounted his love as insanity
How could any self-respecting man tolerate all that I give to him?
So I **** on him
Crippling his spirit
And breaking his heart
As he screamed in pain
I looked at him
Agony on his face
I laughed at him
I called him weak
Said his love wasn't enough for me
Only now I see
It was me
Who didn't love me
Categories:
self respecting, anger, character, emotions, fear,
Form:
Free verse
I’m not your guy buddy, we don’t share the same verbiage
Can’t you see, can’t you tell, don’t you see my body language
Don’t you know the wall that is built talking about other women
It kills the inner mojo vibe; the passion, the drive, the vision
You might want to keep those thoughts inside you head
How about ‘pretend,’ you only desire me, instead
For intimacy, connection, desire and intensity to build
The other women you lust after, is something you shield
Self respecting women don’t tolerate such insecurity
Don’t compete for attention, challenge or act unworthy
I don’t want my aura, my spirit to be diffused, do you?
I want to enjoy the experience with this one that is so new
I can find some other tree to climb, where maturity is found
Because I don’t need to hear things that bring me down
Insecurity is like a huge waste, a vile poison, a cyst
It needs to be removed for anything healthy to exist
I’m not like others and neither are you
We bask in growth and accept each others view
Letting go of the past, we can spark each other higher
But we must pretend only we exist, to light that fire
Whether this ride lasts for a few steps, a block or a mile
Why not play the ‘part,’ and make it more worthwhile
The part is simple, only requires that you be real
Ask questions, show interest and not be afraid to feel
Categories:
self respecting, introspectionwomen, desire, women,
Form:
Rhyme
these radiating, seemingly
endless rows of dust-choked porticoes
in the bustling Roman forum.
Receding to the vanishing point:
sun-drenched streets,
Ways to, hours for due mythology;
busy temples; gleaming marble columns;
massive, stone arches rising through
the wafting dust, through climbing, curling
shafts of dark, fragrant incense;
a general push and shove;
all the chaos and clamor
that any self-respecting business man
could ever hope to bring to bear.
But then, suddenly, an uncanny silence
descends upon all and sundry:
resultant astonishment, utter amazement
on every upturned face around.
Then a deep, mighty rushing.
Sound and fury, to be sure,
but those like the fearsome clapping and
booming of rolling thunder itself, like the
wild, uncontrollable crackling of lightning itself.
A deafening wind howls and wails.
Eyes finally see.
Unstopped with lies,
ears finally hear.
Warmed with love and reason
the human heart once again
beats with human feeling and compassion,
with perspective and saving Knowledge.
Categories:
self respecting, philosophy, religion, symbolism,
Form:
Prose Poetry
Oops, silly me! I do apologize for believing
most of my adult life that marriage is...
a sacred union of two souls. That it's between...
two people. Just two!
Is there a bigger insult to the institution?
If one exists, could someone please enlighten me?
What's the point of marrying someone
you don't want to fully commit to?
It couldn't be more peculiar. An open marriage
is not a marriage. It's an excuse to continue...
sowing wild oats. An excuse for commitment-phobes
to keep playing the field, to keep bed-hopping
Why would any self-respecting individual stay
in such marriage? If it can be called a "marriage"
To call a spade a spade, it's more like...
Open adultery!
Date written: 06/20/2019
Categories:
self respecting, marriage, perspective, satire, write,
Form:
Lyric