Best Satiretime Poems


Thus Spake Utilitas

And so it was in the time of high charges for the governed

 upon entering the Narthex of the church

 of the Cold Blue Static Balls of Charge, 

 powerful PUBLICUS UTILITAS proclaimed: 


“Make way; for I’m the journeyman directorate

 of the all powerful Red Hot Orange Conglomerate,

 here to ground your independent shorts

 unto our power grid.
 

Let the word go forth from this time and place,

no longer will you be able to reverse the 

flow to lessen your monthly burden.”


And so it goes from that day to this!



For the MAGIC WORDS contest

Adverse Sarcasm

The weatherman predicts some snow;
He calls for about three inches.
Must be great playing god, to know
How much will fall, but that’s show biz.
I know one thing: if I were wrong
As often as the weathermen
I wouldn’t have my job that long.
They screw-up time and time again
And still manage to keep working.
Imagine a neurosurgeon
Working on your head one morning
As inept as the weathermen.
Perish the thought! Some comfort though
If they call for it, it won’t snow.

Eff Ewe

This was a time when humans were new,
before stress in our lives, caused us to brew.

When survival meant eating dino doo doo and
grunting was the language everyone knew.

As time went by, certain gestures arose,
like to push or kick or to club ones foes.

Then one day, a strange man had appeared,
he had this defect that everyone feared.

Most of his features were normal you see,
but his two middle fingers, grew like a tree!

The words he could speak were so very few,
yet he blurted some garble, my name EPH EWE!

He’d use these fingers to knock others down,
make them feel hurt and give them a frown.

He could make someone sad, others got mad,
for his fingers were weapons like nobody had.  

He would fling them about and proudly exclaim,
EPH EWE! He would grunt, continuing his reign.

To this day his name is a worldwide phrase,
as the gesture of fingers became a big craze.

Most get offended when receiving this sign,
but don’t hesitate to use it… if so inclined. 

So if ever you wish to make someone frown,
make them feel bad or just put them down,
just whip out the fingers and call out his name,
for EPH EWE, is the symbol, that keeps us all sane!

Widening Horizons of Zoo

As a child visited the official abode of animals called Zoo
Created to have adventure entwined with knowledge
Remembering the instinctive behavior of those creatures
There are more peculiar species in town calling tamed humans

Psychics all around getting mad seeing beautiful faces of girls
Voracious Criminals killing mercilessly for pieces of pearls
Did enjoyed and laughed in the infancy trip to the animals park
But today feel ashamed seeing the polished riches of the world

Monkeys, giraffe, deer, and squirrels - all amuse by playful acts
However the well educated souls do not think once just hurt
It is a paradoxical state encountered by the wise men world
Shackles need to shift from the brute to the brutal hearts

Children have fun seeing sight of the opposite life form
But even they do find some similarity fearing the harm
Its’ high time when we should get back being Human
Else time not far when animals‘ll take control of our kingdom…

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