Best Poetaster Poems
Are you ready to be a poet or a bard?
A romantic or a bad ass?
A poetaster or a poet laureate?
A good girl or a bad guy?
Would you rather poeticize or take poetic license?
Would you like to be referred to as a romantic or a rogue?
To compose in verse or keep writing until you make your missive worse?
I choose all.
I am a writer.
This is what
We do….
Categories:
poetaster, poets,
Form:
Light Verse
To dwell in the realm of Doggerel Bank
Shows the writer up as a crank.
Should anyone my poems stoop to chronicle,
I would surely be ranked with the Great McGonagall.
Whether I rise with lark or cockerel
My poems sink to the depths of Doggerel
If nocturnal like bat or owl
My verses stink of murder most foul.
With reason then will I abjure rhyme
Writing bad verse is worse than a crime
No more will I a poetaster be
And so I set my readers free..
So fair fortune to those who versify well
Adieu to my readers , my final farewell.
Categories:
poetaster, poems,
Form:
Rhyme
Tell us, you say, in your profound complexity
Prophet, griot, artist, word maker
Why do you litter our hearts with song?
I do not write for the crowd in Dubai
For the poetaster and rhyme maker
I write for the discriminating eye
The unweaver of magic images, breaker
Of spells, and wonderment of the child.
It will read a poem and understand
The archtecture of history is better built
And when the books are all torn up
And tradition of lies is unveiled in the night
The masses will come candleness
And light a upon a page and find light.
I write to rage
In paradigmal shifts against the loss of things
Including the plucking of my own wings.
And sometimes in my rage I sing
And sweet the tongue to sing along
Thinking of freedom as we die ... without a song.
Categories:
poetaster, on writing and words,
Form:
Free verse
A poetaster seems sadistic
if he writes longer than a distich.
Volodymyr Knyr
2016
Categories:
poetaster, humor, humorous, poems, poetess,
Form:
Couplet
The poetaster attempted to write a couplet with success
The results were more than embarrassing nonetheless.
Categories:
poetaster, poems, poetry, poets, success,
Form:
Couplet
the Poetaster
syllabic bastard
quoth the poet,
nevermore
thine versifier
pathos bathos
pathetic liar
rhymester runes
huckster tunes
hurry! hurry! hurry!
here's more of rhyme
no worry...or sublime
sub-worse verse
© Goode Guy 2011-09-27
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peri_Bathous,_Or_the_Art_of_Sinking_in_Poetry
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Pope
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/poetaster
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rhymester
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/versifier
Categories:
poetaster, art, funny,
Form:
Hear Me, O Muse, no moos or cluckings, muckings or horns of fog
Do sound the clamoring claxons of the bardics that be written by William McGonagal o’ the Bog,
That Laird of Lamentations Disastrous, that Scot Wha’ Hey Nonny Nonny,
Laureate of the quite awful woeful grueful stuff that happened a-when Goode Queen Victoria was stuck-in in Buckingham and Balmoral and the rest, recall ‘em, of her palaces oh so very bonny,
All about bridges steel a-budging, assassinations most foul all gone kerplooey,
And many and other suchlike things dire. And then that tasty poetaster who be
Known far and near for all his poems fair about domestical bliss most sweet a-cloying,
Edgar Guest, good ol’ scrivener of the everyday, of pathos and bathos does he sing,
Garden paths and bubble baths and let’s not be forgetting the good ol’-fashion verities,
A poet to speak for everyone no matter who or how finicky, he’s.
Let’s round down to an even three with Rod McKuen, syrupy-treacly and saccharine,
Escape from thought and subject and technique and all things stern or black-and-grim,
As sure as roses are red and violets are blue
And God made the little green apples red but once in a while green too.
I swear I cannot live unless I’m able to read them many times per diem,
At work, at home, in bed, or sometimes while at my BM.
Categories:
poetaster, hero, hyperbole, nonsense, satire,
Form:
Light Verse
IF YOU PULL A LONG FACE : Part XXXVI
IF you pull a long-famished face
Chances are you'd pull derisive looks your way
Some might relent Others spite your face
For not pulling your weight in every way
If you pull a long symbolic face
Your words no meaning profound convey
Mallarmé's ill-armed ideas make poems fall on face
Try E = mc2 : Poem = idea + words2 to force poiea
If you pull a long straight face
The contradiction might show through the gap in the veil
Sure as Rita Hayworth " put the blame " on Orson Welles
If you're not sure of the signs in poems you use in braille
If you yet pull a long-forsaken face
Stymied by photons neutrinos criss-crossed by Cosmic Ray
Stop wondering what happened to meaning words efface
Just listen to rhythmic rhymes in the musical phrase at play
So if you must pull that long-mutated face
With time won't ideas coalesce words into Shakespearean play
At will stream out of computer softwares at mind-boggling pace
Leave neither poet nor poetaster critic nor customer with pay
© T. Wignesan - Paris, February 25, 2019
Categories:
poetaster, art, computer, creation, poetry,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
From poetaster to poet-ass
This ain't no leaf of grass.
Walden's pond is a stinking morass
And love is but blaring brass.
No Elysian fields lie yore
And the meadow is a blooming bore.
Nature is reduced to God's only whore
And all I feel is a whole lot sore.
Jealousy reigns supreme
Oh, why can't I just continue to dream.
If Life's best offer is a Krispy Kreme
Go to Hell if you don't like my scheme.
Categories:
poetaster, angst,
Form:
Rhyme Royal
For the Poet Laurette contest by Brian Strand(this one was a real challenge)
Poetaster am I, award unworthy,
Gratitude given to the great state
Whose honor did bestow me
Acceptance gladly and thankfully recieved
Hail Georgia!
This is the Vignette form of narrative.
Categories:
poetaster, fantasy
Form:
Narrative
Under her magic, honeyed words poured forth
filling his fervent verse with rhyme and wit
for suitors to woo and doxies commit
to carnal indulgence and thus henceforth
as topmost poetaster of the north
his purse was filled with gold and silver bit.
But at autumn's end, away he would split
to rest in warm climes until May the fourth.
Then an El Nino year, when she stayed south
his verse thickened, treacle in climate's scold
his sharp pen, now dull, only rent the page
full of awkward phrases, crude and uncouth
his once bright parlance now tattered and old
as her light shifted to another stage.
Categories:
poetaster, fate, inspiration,
Form:
Italian Sonnet
Where Doth The Internet Exist?
The pro fun ditty of above
stated poetic side - title aligned
into an unexpected Eureka
(out of a vacuum) find
just when I felt slight (creative/
cerebral constipation) bind
of writer's block about
to take residence, entwined
(no doubt, sans right wing
of leftist conspiracy) behind
many occurences, when
fountainhead shrugging atlas
without warning didst grind
abruptly to a halt seizing
as if glommed up
ore din aerie profusion of ideas
exhausted from out mum mind,
and without moment's hesitation
ready to conclude I did overwind
springy coils oh me noggin,
though as per usual spellbind
ding idea coalesced within gray matter
startling me, qua omnipresent question
arising since Dawn of womankind,
how can one grasp hold of world wide web
defying insight as if suddenly rendering
myopic (accompanied with floaters) vision blind,
hence hum aware information
superhighway servers
encircle the globe and most all humankind
no matter where cyber surfer "travels"
only represents bytesize piece, viz mastermind,
who dreamt up ability to become linkedin
with a complete stranger consigned
to make sense of mine pablum
lumpy globs of non comestibles opined
on par like trying to chew melon rind
courtesy this poetaster he unwittingly
in his feeble attempt to impress
held accountable, cuz he unwittingly signed
death sentence to innocent reader,
who before this muck cob bray
auto to have sacrificed himself
to a gremlin and resigned!
Categories:
poetaster, 11th grade, funny, growth,
Form:
Rhyme
Stranded courtesy bittercold without food or drink
Dire straits necessitated
yours truly to bethink
outside the box (literally outdoors
of squarish structured nested dwelling),
where blinding albedo effect
forced me to blink,
additionally also ruffled tail feathers
of this sole surviving male bobolink
(North American songbird,
Dolichonyx oryzivorus)
pushing survival species
to extinction brink,
thus series of unfortunate events
woke resident chewink
(North American bird,
Pipilo erythrophthalmus
also called: towhee
or ground-robin),
tweeted from within
his cozy armoire chink
polar vortex froze habitat,
whereby arctic wind found
brushy areas to clink
unwittingly brambles ferocious
waving circular rotation
wrought minuscule countersink
eh, no bigger than a cufflink
his ornate bejeweled complex edifice
compliments of sizable income
allowed, enabled, and provided
opportunity in tandem
with significant other
to create acronym named dink
(dual income without kid)
acquiring handsome combined income
rendering and selling stylized goldfinch
also known as distelfink
common motif in
hex signs and fraktur,
which interpretive native folk art
eye state meaningless
without rhyme nor reason,
superfluous gibberish by George,
and/or...well... courtesy
following more purposeless gobbledygook
defying poetaster to incorporate doublethink
intelligently nsync with downlink
playfully, jauntily, and deliberately
creating confounding badinage eyewink
at thee, no doubt many
an anonymous innocent
reader calling me ratfink
under their breath or more
colorful brutal appellation
inducing cheeks of unknown followers
turning fifty plus shades of firepink
moost definitely concurring gink
perfectly apropos description
concluded individually versus
collectively, quickly, and
unanimously i.e. (think) groupthink
I approve this entire message, which
most likely tinders pet peeve,
concluding GoDaddy liberally did hoodwink.
Categories:
poetaster, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
(buzzfeeding, kickstarting, needling darn noggin)
An effort to recall word, phrase,
musician... indigenous tribe...
most frustrating literary
endeavor to das scribe
aggravating enough to sub
bourbon spur teetotaler to imbibe
and/or nsync, whereby soul searching
devil's advocate demands bribe.
Lil brokeback Engelbert Humperdinck
(born Arnold George Dorsey) bent edict coercion
(think sexual mores)
scaring stripes off blushing zebra
bunched unencumbered vice pliable straw
aforementioned pablum admittedly "fake"
birthed within cerebral tenderloin
of impractical joker,
whereby fifty plus shades
of gray matter (mine)
chafed and rubbed raw
prevarication playfully did overdraw
and tax poetic license writ courtesy this paw
poor putz offal declension
sprouted within mum maw
noun tent to verb (bull eyes - red) to draw
flak, but merely to harmlessly entertain
so accept apologies (mine)
verses calling strong (lanced) arm of law.
I (garden variety poetaster) reckon fair game
media personalities grist for rumor mill, though lame
explanation given (funny first and surname)
adopted by supposed "finest middle-of-the-road
balladeers around," who co opted his stage name
from authentic Engelbert Humperdinck; selfsame
prodigy circa 1 September 1854 –
27 September 1921
German composer, who wrote, I gently exclaim
the opera Hansel and Gretel - a Grimm fairytale
actually frightful saga - read countless times
setting me boyhood imagination aflame
with mailer daemons, who haunted dreams
(mine) 'course in retrospect material tame
compared/contrasted with current pandemic
analogous as if mother Earth -
a metaphorical dame
experiencing long overdue reprieve, cuz shame
on *****sapiens belching pollutants
at any price to garner fortune and fame.
Categories:
poetaster, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
Like A Fire Cat - Teaser Taste Of Spring...
Did Fistbump With Ole Man Winter
Once again, this fella alights
this poetaster and trots out weather,
nope not cuz freezing cold bites,
this poetic instance highlights
spate of unseasonably warm temperatures
circa early February 2019,
melting oppressive plights,
whereby totally tubular solar balm
energizes and alights
to zoom into heavenly heights
pleasantly zapping dendrites
with heaven sent
sunny rays, which excites
every fiber of this fella, writes,
a diametrically opposite
meteorological pleasure
pitch perfect to fly kites
versus torturous blast, sans
polar vortex arctic
cold one futilely fights,
where no complaint as
ecstasy knows no heights,
asper in above average winter
cathartically, holistically,
therapeutically... quiets
cabin fever with sneak
preview of summer -
skipping over stone temple rites
of spring despite dramatic
unseasonably warm weather
this anomaly nonetheless delights
this wordsmith voluntarily
holed up days and nights
from bone chilling, crushing brutal
(cudgel wielding) cold
understandably inducing flights
of fantasy imagining
(like...just yesterday)
hightailing to tropical
island paradise sights
blinds this sun worshipper
twittering revelling,
basking with robins
noah matter an old gipper
slakes insatiable thirsts
nsync with teetotaling
brewster herbalist honeydripper
ah... methinks this clime
makes me chipper
recalling good ole times
feeling like a day tripper
sprawled out atop roofed mansion
fronting happy hunting grounds
upon memory steadfast gripper
amidst haunting demesne
of "Glen Elm" transformed
courtesy where backhoes did stripper
of native flora and fauna
into ticky tack vinyl city for hipper
crats all in the name of progress!
Categories:
poetaster, addiction, beautiful, drug, environment,
Form:
Pastoral