Best Pinkies Poems
That pop you hear
is just another can of pinworms being opened
by the disgruntled, the entitled, the privileged.
Cackling about what they think they lack.
While ignoring the many things they do or could have.
They cluster together in a bait ball of perpetual misery
(of their own making).
Pointing stinky middle fingers at anybody that doesn't agree.
With their funhouse mirror philosophy...
In the (mean) time they grow fat off freebies.
Courtesy of (term limitless) pinkies in government.
Using the stinkies to divide the masses.
While taxing the crap out of the working class.
To perpetuate a two-class system made up of sheep herders and sheep.
With a big blue-collar hole in between....
and as long as the stinkies are miserable,
the pinkies have gotten what they want.
And will continue to fill our blue-collar noses
with the rose-colored snot of their bad intentions....
and that buzz that you'll soon be hearing
is the last of the sheep being sheared.
I adopt dainty etiquette
when quenching thirst or dining
to buzzfeed growling beast
inside me tummy.
The missus requests obedience
raising both my little fingers in the air
upon taking beverage or repast to lips.
Additionally, she also requires I
(well healed husband who toes the line)
perform dance shuffle - think clog
feigning to trip over feet
as if yours truly quaffed to much grog
while balancing atop log.
Miss iz manners re: lee the spouse
sets prime example being lady like,
what with her belching and snorting
of course with mouthful of food
no surprise she nurtured impolite brood
raised on learning language crude
even this Geico caveman exhibits
less coarse attitude,
he likens himself to subdued dude
trying his darnedest (golly gee)
to avoid family feud
general behavior hashtagged as rude
linkedin with antics qualified as lewd
encouraged nsync while
slurping or masticating in the nude,
whereby other body sounds made
unsuitable for strait laced and prude
folks who don't take a fancy hearing
so called uncouth soundclouds exude
out body orifices considered foul,
inapropos and extremely lewd
when unless quarantined in solitude.
One upside of COVID-19
postprandial aural emanations
(all time favorite flatulence)
knows no outward bounds
unless colorectal explosions
register highest magnitude
when measured in concert
with handy dandy
blues clues rattle seismometer
and register courtesy
Richter Scale and the Mercalli Scale
direction and intensity of earthquakes.
Upon experiencing aforementioned prime mate
i.e. the bellowing gal offering herself as ahem
(pardon the double entendre) master bait,
I knew from the get go
Tex-Mex Connection
in North Wales, Pennsylvania
where we shared our first date
(outsize bean burritos)
I tooted my own horn,
she unwittingly got me into checkmate,
just for that her fate got sealed,
when our respective gametes
(ova and sperm cells respectively)
new life we did miraculously create
the first of two female offspring
would become housed in utero
and come to resemble
a spheroid somewhat oblate
even now unnamed counterpart,
(and partner in crime) still swell person
hook hood benefit to lose some weight,
cuz... well adipose freight
quite ample around equator.
Pinkie’s annual garden party was in full swing.
With a tea bell on the table, and a sheep’s floral ring.
Her fancy china was prissy, lemon scones ready to sing.
Pinkie the sheep loved this time of year – spring.
Your smile warms my heart
Never see it so often but
It's always there when I see you
The long hours of talking
Neither of us wanting to go up to sleep
Our heads were held up
But our pinkies were close
I felt your gaze as you turned
Towards me
Our destinies were tied
But in what design
I cannot see
Pinkie favored one color above all the rest
She decorated her car and her nest
with pinks of every shade and hue.
Decorated her snow people too
We knew where she lived before we parked.
It has to be this one, my co-worker snarked.
Many were jealous of Pinkie, who was confident.
We were served pink cookies with a hint of mint.