Best Oed Poems
Words . . . written in brilliant lines
In passionate flamboyant rhymes
In Free verse, Haiku or Pantoum,
Etheree, Quatern, or 7/5 Trochee . . .
It matters not the particular form,
But inherent quality, don’t you agree?
Long lines, short lines . . . no lines,
Sometimes a pregnant pause . . .
Unveils how less is more in lambent wit.
Lines that capture ones attention,
Honey mellowed, juicy jell-Oed or
Painfully passionate . . . take your pick!
Lines with utter depth and nuance,
Lines we want to keep near bed.
Keep that blue blood flowing, sowing
Seeds of thoughts through
Your frazzled, dazzled brain.
Just one more poem ‘fore I retire . . .
One more line so I can sleep.
*For "Line" Contest Sponsored by: Paula Swanson
Categories:
oed, art
Form:
Free verse
If I believed, I wouldn’t pray
to thank god for the light of day
less likely still is that I might
thank him for the dark at night.
I'd ask if life could please be more
than constant work and bills galore
and amongst examples in the O.E.D.
for “oxymoron” could there be
“unhappy child” and “holy war"
and all of those “contented poor”?
The wealthy aren’t “unhappy rich”.
How many of them get the itch
to see if life’s more beneficial
busking with a penny whistle?
And if we happened to displease
could he hold the famine and disease
and make us write five hundred times
“God forgave us for our crimes.”?
And would his grand design be in a dreadful pickle
If I got a bit more slap and tickle?
Categories:
oed, hope, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
headland harbored primitive biota abut
mint for exotic sole terrain sustaining
sole terrain sustaining seeds, spores, spermatozoa, ova
seeds, spores, spermatozoa, ova , et cetera gut
preserved within mine follicular pores, sans
I secured per woof and meow wing warp organic matter
heir in to fore shielded from elements akin to thatched hut
aware wrenching kamikaze eradication
of countless critters from many Godaddy longlegs;
creepy crawlers, hops scotching,
shimmying with schmaltz, moon walks, et cetera
lost when germ warfare obliterated vast majority
since advent of civilization ordained Proletariat and Plebeian Primate
(cherishing, fostering, insulating bon mot infinitesimal dot re: future mutt)
dogs and also cats off limits
asper demise of other creatures decimated – tut tut
atop thine noggin housed (within thimble size nut)
rare and near extinct flora and fauna, what
species of plants and animals, whose preserve comprised
equivalent of indigenous village people huddling within microscopic yut.
Thus, this bipedal simian angst riddled at experiences
forced at figurative crossroad
when itching scalping a dead giveaway clue
to lather up hirsute growing via bald faced code
at further expense invisible life forms such action would erode
fast dwindled diversity, hegemony, longevity
i.e. population except *****Sapiens who didst goad
forefingers needed to massage and scrub thine scalp
as like a field getting hoed
sometimes applying solely cold water knob to un load
a healthy plethora, where gushing shower head would send them
down the drain perhaps displacing their meal times,
or feasting on louse see pie ala mode
aware that survival odds regarding
getting thru water treatment plant, premonition aye node
and greater chance to avert total mortal kombat avoided
if I trekked to Antarctic anti pode
so...similar to other occasions necessitating me
to lather 50 shades of gray –
as if subjected to being snowed
quite aware many people would avoid me like the plague
(which reaction eagerly embraced) if knotty,
oily, straggly natural headresss
hence, this outlier surrendered and got gently toad
value of hygience – and lost as if playing tictactoe x/oed.
Categories:
oed, anxiety, confusion, fun, funny,
Form:
Narrative
He has pedophile tendacies —
short eyes that look long
at young girls,
who ain’t nothing but babies
Lusting for February-November relations
that ought not be ...
if nothing but for the sake of decency
You see his kind from time to time,
lurking at malls ...
around high schools,
and teenage dance halls
When he’s feeling frisky,
he loves to rub
his little pistol publicly
Wearing his cowboy hat,
looking like Toy Store Woody
Seeing him acting twitchy, roaming on the twerk,
gives you a creepy sensation
And you ask yourself,
as daddy’s big girl walks ahead of you,
what rock did this worm crawl from under?
Noticing Woody
in his closed raincoat,
and his hands you can’t see ...
You ask yourself again,
would he?
As Woody approaches too uncomfortably close
to your thirteen-year-old daughter, you answer yourself:
Yes, he would!
Woody has deviant proclivities —
short eyes that climb tall,
over girl’s gym bathroom stalls
Old goat, young ewe conversation
is what turns him on
Ew!
His thoughts always lass gender
towards doing that which is morally wrong
Woody loves to rub his little pistol
with exhibitionistic glee
Having raincoat open,
he gives his tiny pistol a squeeze
Old ladies say to themselves,
how dare he!
Young women say to themselves,
that guy is so nasty!
Mall police tells everyone there:
We caught that cowpoke perp
with his hands in his pants deep
Pervert amber alert:
They lass-oed Toy Store Woody!
Categories:
oed, abuse, sick, truth, word
Form:
Dramatic Verse
VIVALDI continual concert-oed climatic quadratics
Categories:
oed, music,
Form:
Epigram
Went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered a capaburro
Told me they don't serve donkeys to over-aged burritos
Did I mean a cappuccino
Hey you need your ears clean-oed
Next time I visit, I'll insist on a different comanchero
Categories:
oed, language,
Form:
Limerick
Dear Oxford English Dictionary editors,
Please consider the following words for inclusion in your next edition:
Amazone - the addictive, ensnaring vortex of shopping online. "She's been on her laptop all day searching for the perfect wedding gown. She's in the Amazone."
Blump - One who sits around like a head with its chicken cut off (a portmanteau of butt and lump). "He lives in the basement playing video games all day, sitting like a blump on a log."
Cavitate - To move oneself towards items of confectionery. "At parties I always cavitate towards the bowl of M&Ms."
Dispepsic - Drinking Coca-Cola products to the exclusion of all others. "I've been dispepsic for a year now, and loving it!"
Flubbergasted - The overwhelming disbelief at gaining 25 pounds. "Why are all my pants super tight all of a sudden? I'm flubbergasted!"
Newbousness - Amateur behavior exhibited by a person brand new to an activity. "Dad's newbousness with his cell phone is so embarrassing!"
Puppulate - What mama pooch does with her suitor after dark. "Nobody puppulates the neighborhood like Princess used to do."
Twitterpate - Spending so much time on social media that one's head takes the shape and color of a blue bird. "My granddaughter's so twitterpated I barely recognized her."
Uncluded - Regarding necessary accessories that must be purchased separately. "AAA batteries are uncluded".
Wikipediatrician - A medical professional specializing in eye strain caused by non-stop reading of Wikipedia articles. "I can barely focus on long distances anymore... better visit my Wikipediatrician."
Categories:
oed, words,
Form:
List
Ssshhh! Ssshhh! Ssshhh!
Says who?
Says YOU?
I knew.
I doubt YOU.
Hush! Hush! Hush!
Now why?
YOU cried?
I knew.
YOU lied.
In the stillness
Is the sound of silence.
In the darkness
YOU shine the brightest.
Mind this:
A star
Is never born
In the light.
It's unnoticed
until
before twilight.
But alas!
When born
It creates the day.
It has found a way.
So YOU...
don't doubt,
don't lie.
It's ok to cry.
Yield yourself high.
Dream,
Believe,
Survive.
---Self-love is believing that you can be a star. You can shine despite the challenges you face. Do not doubt yourself nor lie to yourself. Believe and be true to yourself. Just like the sun, being the nearest star on earth, it's light shines everywhere. Just like the sun, your strength is within you.---NOTE: created on May 11, 2021 submitted as a school article for AMA OED course.
Categories:
oed, career, encouraging,
Form:
Free verse