Best Nell Poems

For Andrea’s contest 
Show me the Funny (part two)

Eskimo Nell & the Door Repair Man

Now Eskimo Nell 
Has a story to tell
A tale, about my last visit
Into her igloo
I went through and through
Though this entrance I’m told is illicit

She said, “Just for you
That one will...

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EVE NELL
BY

JOHN M. ARRIBAS

EVA NELL WAS A BEAUTIFUL BABY,  LATER A TEEN
A GORGEOUS WOMAN,  AS HAS EVER BEEN SEEN
COQUETTISH, CHARMING, WITH  INVITING SIGHS
SOME SAID THERE WAS EVIL BEHIND THOSE EYES
OF ALL THE MEN THAT PURSED HER EXOTIC  CHARMS
IT WASN’T A SURPRISE...

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"Darling, where have you been, Iv'e missed you so!"
"Oh darling, I'm tewibbly sowwy, I forgot to tell you
Where I went! I hijacked a lowwy; just told him to go
Which he did. Awft to the bushes and went to the loo.!"

"Oh darling, that must have been...

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A small whine in my ear.
“Let me see. What have we here?”
A new little monster with a pinched red face;
Whose caterwauls usurped my place?

“I wish. I wish.” I’d opened wide,
My fledgling arms, let go my pride.

My favorite dresses, my new toy,
My Daddies lap, my mothers...

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Admiring the finest gleaming gems of femininity
I feel it in my polygamous heart
Let thy lovers bath in the finest lather and salts
Cleanse your minds to be at peace
Like the finest roses that no longer sigh
A stricken swain by voluptuous beauty and grace
Consumed by this other...

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A small whine in my ear.
“Let me see. What have we here?”
A new little monster with a pinched red face;
Whose caterwauls usurp my place?

“I wish. I wish.” I’d opened wide,
My fledgling arms, let go my pride.

My favorite dresses, my new toy,
My Daddies lap, my mother’s...

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Her toenails are as thick as a tortoise shell
She does not hesitate to tell
Potentials suitors to go to h…..
She has not been to charm school, says Cousin Kell

Tough old bird with opinions most would never tell
can perplex and stuplify with one old world spell
we are...

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a crabby courtesan does not do well
when her meanness is seen by clientele
the one I knew named angry night crawler Nell
was so grouchy, she was a very hard sell
the Madame found her a new place to dwell
No one knows what happened to nasty old Nell...

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