Best Mispronounced Poems
You're a camera obscura, a broken bell's rings,
You made me dance slowly on sad phantom strings.
You always had the slightly off-color touch,
Your insensitive skin never softened up much.
Our meals were quiet with subtle trespass,
Off like a mispronounced requiem mass.
I corrupted your files, threw you askew,
You knew my pictures weren't entirely true.
We never could see in each other's mirrors,
Our focus was broken, our lenses were tears
That clouded our vision, that shrouded the past,
Our statements were false, or if pure couldn't last.
I voided your interest, the chasm was steep,
You fell into boredom, I put you to sleep.
You woke up translucent, you dissolved in the air,
Did I ever see you, were you ever there?
December 17, 2016
For Daniel Turner's contest - 'What was I thinking'
Categories:
mispronounced, perspective, relationship,
Form:
Quatrain
and its the bing bang boing but not bong ok nor beng or bung
A chicken diner stream is a recipe of combined cream but crossing a work surface is often best using traffic lights, zebra crossings and highlighted roadway maps. It is imperative to firm a very tight organised congestion. With cups to the left and glasses to the right the secret glow of gravity gravy is smiling at the floor. Yet shudders at the arriving sponge. Nodding. Nimble are the beetle bugs. Ooh a ballroom dancing spectacle for earthworms writing in packeted slices. Wow. Earthly eradication ejecting evil evolutionary evidence. But it could be said that dressing very casually is not the same as dressing in a greasy tissue. Fabulous isn't it? Queen gong on a long skinny street picks up a steeple and canters away. A catalogued misted mispronounced misprint of a moonlit mortal. Brighter is the bay before beauty bathes. And a beating bear brings bassist and bongos. Fantastical notions of a citronella cube. Formations frown upon upside down house bricks. And hot housework in leopard attire.whirling. A bun in a jar is neither a jar a bar or a bream in a stream. Straightforward structure strengthened strategy. And a large-scale looking leaking leaning lover. Haha now bake. Hahaha and bring a small frog and a little linguistic fish. Giggle then. Hehe head hornets. Xxxx constitutionalism z that was p y Q reporting on the corner from the facts. X
Categories:
mispronounced, absence, adventure, allah, allegory,
Form:
A teapot has a wonderful wingspan of over five centimetres but a button for a shirt has incredible wings measuring sixty eight point nine metres. This was sure to upset teapot who rather fancied itself as being the largest wing in the house. Blatant blaring belligerence brings big heads. And a chauvinistic chatting charging caped cauliflower sings whilst on horseback whilst waving a large opaque pair of patterns tights. The passing pockets grin. And the integrity of an integer was integral to internally investigate ironic irksome ilk. It is unwise to wear such a floral outfit when mopping the lawn. Mopping the lawn should only ever be done in a space suit. And mopping lawns can only occur after firstly cutting the lawn with a pair of scissors. Paper scissors or baby scissors. No bigger for the grass blades will attack back against shearing. They do not appreciate hair cuts and hair cuts are neither heated headed hallways and nor are they mispronounced adjectives weaving in and out of a sentence when the sentence is moving and talking. Quite rude. One should listen to sentences. But adjectives don't they either abstain or are aggressive. This is not a pattern to prune a pin bush? Ha a fly is calling on a currant to play on a toboggan. Ha the entire end of annexed antelope is lifting five feet overhanging a bridge. Xxxxx hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia arriving at ten past three. And llanfairpwyllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndt obwyll-llantysiliogogogoch..... Big z then. Yes. Z
Categories:
mispronounced, animal, basketball,
Form:
Enumeration of Thought, within my entire being, as if to ascertain an exact molecular particle; of selectively predisposed choice.
Pre-being molecules particulate, if as an exact enumeration of my entire dispositional thought selection.
Predisposed ascertainment of an exact choice within select molecular thought particles.
Throughout my entire thought article, parts of moles file exact lines of rapid choices.
Iron lung overcasting dark heart within particles of mispronounced enunciation.
Thoughts drown an innocuous man, found pondering about an empty tide pool.
Tad poles think about life above all else when thee light shows its radiant rays of ascertained enumeration.
Aspired by inspired guy, hidden within lies between the walls.
Mirrors talk back when the glass is turned inside out beside wind blown sand falls of intrepid insidiousness.
Wind falls into sand mirrors imaginary coastal vocabulary.
Sand falls talk through blown glass wisp chandeliers that are incomprehensibly mortal beings, within thinkers' thought.
One being, willingly faces molecular particles' windfall's evaporate, through profound memory that trepidatious thought ascertained sand blown mortality.
An innocuous man found pondering about an empty tide pool.
Aspired by an inspired guy, hidden between lying walls.
Thinking about life above all else, when right light reveal its radiant rays through profound memory that thought insidiousness could turn glass inside out.
Enumeration of Thought, within my entire being, as if to ascertain an exact molecular particle; of selectively predisposed choice.
Entered for SKAT-A's muse from start to finish or bending to end
Or something like SKAT
Categories:
mispronounced, adventure, confusion, cool, crazy,
Form:
Free verse
Marmie was beyond beautiful, ready for this day, all of her life.
Thadius was feeling great, marrying a helpmate and friend this day.
They were matched in intellect, emotionally sound, without strife.
They had met at work, and established a friendship first, smartest way.
His family and friends were grinning with curiously surprised faces, not quite sure.
But her friends and family knew that she was clear in her mind,
Thadius was the one.
They were the loveliest couple of all time, so young and sweet and pure.
The flower girl tipped her basket, spilling out the rose petals, which was fun.
The minister mispronounced his name, so Marmie corrected him
in a subtle way.
Her hand was in his, and they smiled at each other like a trophy they had won.
We, the bride’s family, knew it was a terrific ending to a well-thought out day.
The groom’s family was relieved he had found a wife who knew how to have fun.
We did not know them well, and they did not know us either,
but over the years.
Sharing six grandchildren, and arriving at events to watch and play,
We have learned them, and they have learned us,
and there are absolutely no fears
That our daughter is in the best of hands,
even if she lives six hours away.
Categories:
mispronounced, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Epithalamium
I think it is funny how OFTEN we are wrong,
How we don’t speak the right way,
How words that are written throughout the LIBRARY,
Aren’t the words that we say,
From FAUX PAS to ALMOND, to ET CETERA,
GENRE, and FILM, and BOUTIQUE,
Commonly miss said, uttered all wrong,
Razing the way that we speak,
I think it’s important we clean up this CHAOS,
Our enunciation becomes understood,
And we clean away DEBRIS of mispronounced words,
That we talk, you know… proper and good.
Categories:
mispronounced, funny, humorous, irony, language,
Form:
Quatrain
The impetuosity of inanities
Life spills, deals and fills
In tones and zones of vanities
Raised to a crescendo on hills and bills
On the beleaguered bottom
Society sinks into new perspectives
Derived from the atom
Devoid of subjective directives
Issued at the behest of power corridors
In lumps and stumps of mispronounced announcements
Trembling and rambling at defiant doors
Terrified and petrified at pronouncements
Scoffing at millennials
Accused of fussing over instant answers
To complex matters in denials
Over layers upon layers
Overlaying transitions from entrenched traditions
Assimilated and formatted over centuries
Of rigid implementations and regimentations
Too inflexible to consider modern luxuries
Striving to supplant
Commands and demands
In a slant
Teeming with reprimands
Queering the pitch
Making the foundation fusion task harder
To switch
From the tradition defender
To an accommodation of values of old
Held in high esteem
And new values so bold
They create a new mixed value cream within a mixed culture stream.
Categories:
mispronounced, poems,
Form:
Free verse
He came to school in worn out teeny shoes
with a scab on his knee and a sour attitude
He talked with a lisp and bad pronunciation
which made things worse in a bad situation
Always fighting and calling bad names
Always pointing fingers at others to blame
Always rude and crude having little shame
and when he mispronounced it he got a new name
Kids called him naughty, naughty mean boy
but he pronounced it nardy, with it we toyed
Mocking him is Nardy the mean boy
Singing Nardy Nardy brought us such joy
But he liked it and took it to name
Lived it and rived it to us with pain
To him Nardy was a badge of fame
to us it became an unwanted game
As the school year dragged into cold
taunting Nardy just got tired and old
I asked his real name and what did he say
but Bartholomew Augustus Day
He became just another friend to play
we all agreed Nardy forever he would stay
Categories:
mispronounced, childhood, friendship, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
There's a mispronounced hurt, crawling in my veins.
A thorough disdain, lurking in my brains.
Pouring from eyes, falling from my soul.
Channeling through the skies, a sick twisted role.
Grasping at a fleeting breath, a pain so true.
With a string of words unspoken, I'm losing you.
I cannot sleep, I cannot wake.
Trapped forevermore in a mistake.
Bring me closer, to the end.
A direction from the composer, once a trusted friend.
The thought of it all, so overwhelming and futile.
Hoping for my fall, hoping for a crescendo of style.
Can I see the sky, hiding in your eyes?
Will I be left to die, left in a secret hearts lies?
Categories:
mispronounced, depression,
Form:
Rhyme
Former President Trump
Sat on his awesome "yhuge"rump,
Dreaming of having his ultimate revenge
While on a drug and vengeance Benge.
note: misspelled huge as "Yhuge" because the former President mispronounced it that way and comedians mocked him for it for years.
Categories:
mispronounced, addiction, allegory, allusion, america,
Form:
Chastushka
Focus on a plot, may you like a lot,
in this beginning so you introduce-
at it's middle you did deduce-
an end- is what you have, too produce-
Testing this out; you dial out any number,
ask! is Perry - Slap Happy News there with you?
polite voice on that other end said; wrong #
try again, this is Tate, for heaven sake...
a little later; you 'call again' 2nd time
same voice; have you misdialed again-
you laugh, as you sound off; 'Right then!
I'm sorry to have bothered you' again...
'Last dial' to that # same voice, now announce
you had to know-asking, have I mispronounced
I'm Slap Happy News your reporter- I truly be!
hee hee " has any calls come-in for me "
silence- a pause, on his other end, awhile...
then right on! - you did produce - a Smile.
well folks all this is 'a PRANK 'also known as...
conversation, frustration, aggravation
Categories:
mispronounced, anger, fun, funny,
Form:
Free verse
tip the scales
break any old barrier
the sound will not be heard
in the dark quiet i am
somewhere where they are not
in a genesis of something undefined
with no reply at all
though an answer is in some sort of abstract code
frigidity has my sweating dry spells mispronounced
falling off the scales
landing onto, but yet and still off the rails
life is fantastic, but still unclean with each spray
not even bactine can prevent the infections that life brings
fall asleep uneven
wake up straightened out perfectly
the stability of it all is all a farce
the arms i die in now will be broken
Categories:
mispronounced, how i feel, life,
Form:
Free verse
There are those who think the spirits of loved ones departed
Have moved on to their heavenly reward,
And there are those who think they'd like to, but "cain't"
Because they still need to finish something they have started,
And until some resolve they contrive to move toward,
They stay trapped here on Earth as a "haint".
Poltergeists don't exist, no real proof there at all,
This is just an "old wives tale", at best,
So I'd entreat you to show some restraint.
That strange noise you may hear some stormy night in the hall
Is just weather related, so give it a rest.
You may think it's a "haint",
But it "ain't".
Author's note: "Haint" is an old mispronounced folklore word for "haunt", or ghost.
Categories:
mispronounced, halloween, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
As snow creamed down the mountain
and moonlight kissed with azure brush
those fractured eyes
and nibbles at marooned cloud
as infatuated laid its head
My leach just a mispronounced spell
Breath lost transmutates to
icicle arrows
and hangs on leadened mist
Echoes drop to knee
and simper of the dark
and shadows dance
with frozen light
to death
To death
life and thought raise frosted glass
as fate chuckles by
and hope a step not made
and fear with canine stealth
veins just behind
Categories:
mispronounced, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
addded a d as i please
mispelt misspelt
carrried an extra r
mispronounsed mispronounced
elongated should be longer
shrinks don't reduce the poem
they just show you what you didn't know
in every dictionary its always spelled incorrectly
drew your eyes to a drawing drawn of dawn dawning
the parts of light split are so pretty
will i tell you something
something whispered low
the crackled cackle of smirk
the taste of apple candy wrapped
Categories:
mispronounced, poetry,
Form:
Free verse