Best Maude Poems

POOR AUNT MAUDE

Sitting bored I sat and sighed
How inconvenient old aunt Maud had died
I wouldn’t be here if the old bat was still talking
Watching the relatives sipping and walking
Gestures of sadness filled the room
When holding a drink George fell over a broom
Sister sue was covered...

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By 
Renee Denise Gross
(Grasshopper*)

#"HAROLD and MAUDE"

Harold, poor Harold, Death Defying, Life Denying...

and then came...

Another day: dullness, bleakness, weakness

Loathing

Hi Mom!

Remember Me? You Swam right passed me, just went right ahead and

bypassed ME...

You surely Soul Scorched Torched me...
I guess it doesn't matter!

Because really, you Never truly CARED...

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MAUDE

Her red plump lips doth tease releasing mood,
And glasses squeeze the shark-like eyes of Maude.
My tippy-toes reach her tall tattooed knees.
Maude’s eyes slide down Her beak-like nose.

She shakes aluminum-like paper pad,
“Why poet,” she sneers, “are these your quaint words?”
“Um and uh,” doth depart my liver...

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Maude Fealy was a gorgeous movie star in the nineteen hundreds.
Her soulful blue eyes shouted out of the screen at the audience.
Her parents disowned her when she began making “pictures”.
She tried to get back into their graces, but it was a failed attempt.
They never saw...

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"Eyedrops from Heaven"
   his first rock band
"Shellfish over Easy"
   blew a one-night stand

"Impotent Conundrums"
   limp as asparagus
"Cratering Stegosaurus"
   couldn't fire up any lyrics...

Many years have passed
  and the old Rocker's gone soft
His new girlfriend's Maude Lynne
...

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he might have been a felon, a freak, a frizzle wiper or a fraud.
we did not know him actually said speaker, young judgmental Maude.
he had a look about him that made me clutch my purse.
she assesses strangers quickly, treating people mean and worse.

he might have...

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There was no such thing as a perfect couple until Max and Maude.
They immediately began naming snow balls – Cherish and Claude.
Here is Cherish Maude said, as she lobbed it toward Max’s head.
Max laughed and ducked and slid away on a bright red sled.

Maude created...

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Great Aunt Maude had a bejeweled flair
With red and blue rhinestones in her hair
Black fluffy coat resembling grizzly bear
We could never outguess what she would wear

Her glitzy outfits were worn with care
Silver sequined gowns, shoulders often bare
She entices old men on the town square
All could...

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Meddling Maude has a dangerous belief
that she knows better than others
she can raise your child and discipline it too
whatever you do, probably needs tweaking
and she is glad to be the tweaker

She does not see any benefit to keeping opinions to yourself
Maude shares her brilliant advice...

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seven cats tell my auntie Maude what to do.
she does it too, she does it too.
she dances with them until her knees are blue.
they laugh at her, they truly do!

seven cats are in charge of my auntie now.
she has a barn, she has a cow.
they...

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