Best Lettuces Poems
A tomato and a potato lived in a fridge
And a bunch of other foods lived in their midst
Tomato and potato ruled this place
And all the foods lived in grace.
Of course until all the eggs were beaten
And fried and seasoned and served and eaten
For the eggs were royal guards
Until their shells were smashed into shards
But other than that life was pretty well
But one day the evil Yam cast a spell
A deadly disease that made you grow old,
It was called “The Terrible Mold”
All the bread started to turn white,
And most of the berries were missing a bite,
Mr. Swiss and his wife turned to darker blue,
And so did Cheddar and Gouda too!
Broccoli’s buds started falling down
And Tomato and Potato were nowhere to be found!
Lettuces leaves were coming down fast
And many spinaches lives were passed,
All the meats were freaking out
Like the fish, the Bass, and the fresh trout
And the steak, the chicken, and barbeque duck
But they had tried and tested their luck
They sat in their drawer from April to May
Trying to find out if they could save the day.
They acted as nurses, they acted as a friend
And surprisingly not many lives came to an end,
And when the meats finally saved the day,
They remember that Witch Yam had a price to pay
They defeated her and the rulers came back later
And it turned out they were in another refrigerator!
All the foods kicked them out of the place
And from that day on they lived in grace.
By-Ellie Wayland
Age-10 years
Categories:
lettuces, food, kids,
Form:
Yawn said Saudi Arabian prawn in a bin liner watching a cake. Chopping cutting cuticles cubicles clubbing clang clanging clam. Drama is not an item in a scene. It is merely to disguise battling molluscs and lettuces in flowery beds. Aroma of lemons should never play on a boat in a bath that is less than five metres wise. Traitor training tapping tuning turboprop. And fish wave peas around in the air. Quite quickly and dramatically but the Ukraine is a base for a nine mineralised lake of great ice. But ice cream is a bad idea for it can run away thus leaping down cliff paths dexterously. How rather incredible. Wow. Questions should be delivered in an atmosphere of greatness as flotation is great in bins don't change dams and beavers enjoy 'other' beavers company in turbulent carpet writhes or under prettily patterned summer dresses. Bomb then. Themselves. Turn thrice a pitch. Good. Poignancy of a branch. *** geraniums grabbing gators. Gatorades. Hahahaha now go kiss a fragrance. *** cordiality coughing chews chant chant chant. Xxxx confrontationally. Peanut dome equals z.
Categories:
lettuces, baby,
Form:
Panic in the supermarkets!
By the new mad author
Stanley Russell Harris
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dearie me.
In the supermarkets do panic I see?
I wonder why, as yesterday.
I was in one food shopping I say.
Not to me. I must now tell.
Was for my daughter, she was unwell.
I tramped the aisles I must say.
All were crowded, as was a Friday.
The shelves were packed with food galore.
So what was the panic, I could not ignore?
Everything on daughters list.
I ticked off in case I missed.
Just in case like I do write.
I might load it twice in my basket alright!
If I had two items that would be wrong.
Unless two were written, so I didn’t go wrong.
Then on the list in writing small, you know.
Was one, (blinking) courgette, was so.
And hey, there was one of them left..
I hope there was nothing I did forget.
PS. For once! I got everything right.
Was too much ham prepacked that’s right.
But as I know my grandson Jay!
I knew he’ll tuck that soon away.
It’s just a fact with boys today.
They need energy X-box to play.
NB. Actually he is a football player.
On the football field, playing in all weathers!
As for mum, my daughter true!
She freezes on the touchline too.
Along with those other mums and dads!
Wishing hot-dog's is what they had.
You know, I’m glad I did not forget.
And get that last, (blinking,) courgette.
The above poem was conjured up in response to learning certain salad foods like Iceberg lettuces, peppers and guess what? Courgettes, were in short supply, being due to poor weather experienced in the growing UN country Spain. Fortunately we have friends in America who do grow courgettes as well, aren’t we lucky? I wonder why we in UK do not grow, such a crop in heated green-houses?
No doubt many people in far-off countries would welcome shopping in a supermarket, so well-stocked as ours, wouldn’t they?
Categories:
lettuces, allusion, america, confusion, food,
Form:
Classicism
The contents of a sandwich often plot to escape. Particularly lettuces. Their leaves when chopped can climb well out of bread. So it is always wise therefore to use an adhesives such as mayonnaise to practically glue the contents to the bread. Thus ensuring no escapees. The ham slices always go to sleep though but chicken pieces can fly so shut the bread together very quickly. It is not to say if a jam will run with the butter. It depends upon the flavour. Strawberry jam is far more hesitant than a blue berry preserve so please be careful when making such a jam as more than three blueberries per square inch of pan could cause interruptions for the bread and the butter. Ingredients interrupting intentionally ignoring ignitions. And a circular piece of bread is easier for the contents to escape than a little square slice. So be careful when preparing sandwiches. Now it is time to commute. Goodbye. And good luck too. Have a lovely day. And carry the carton not the umbrella in case of the odd shower. Ha x z colonialism at thirty seven loaves to seven pieces of diced cucumber with tomatoes. Z
Categories:
lettuces, appreciation,
Form:
The Bunny
Soft, caramel-coloured paws,
Creamy, velvet underbelly,
Hoppity hop, hoppity hop.
Two ears appear,
Then the top of the head.
Eyes peeping over
The plant pot,
Hoppity hop, hoppity hop.
Bob-tail flashes white
Between the bushes,
Hoppity hop, hoppity hop.
A hole in the greenhouse.
A giant bounce- THUD!
Munch, crunch for lunch.
All the baby lettuces…
Hoppity hop, hoppity hop.
Later, a cheeky little bunny
Lies upon the lawn,
Lengthening in the sunshine,
Stretching out her paws.
A snooze, a warming rest,
All peaceful and contented,
Until the sun leaves the garden
And wakefulness recommences.
Up she pops, whiskers first,
Then nose and ears appear.
Back on her paws, into the house,
Through the open door…
Hoppity hop, hoppity hop.
Copyright Emily Joshua
Categories:
lettuces, animal, cute, easter, garden,
Form:
Prose
.
A whale in a pail is far more active in a gale or in copious amounts of hail. Putting money into sharks is a shifty act involving the shuffling of coats in cloakrooms. And clown costumes placed in the bowls of women's frames are reserved for the elite attire of lemmon lipped bowler heads whose acidic tongue holds the weaponry speeches of tomorrows gore. Pain is a painted potato placed with the pilots to place on a place numbered out and planned on maps arriving by facetious fax machines whose many layered buttons seek to halt a single growing grass level with a shard spoken key. Turning a keyboard to an angle one can visit the highest climate but coinage is best reserved for a large bull with a blue tie. Behind many layers. Many layers is not many lettuces it is merely many lanes. And lanes are lovely on a summer evening returning from the abbey to the house in eighteen fifty-three in long beautiful blue dress with fancy earrings and hair wound in a tight bun. Looking around it is unsurprising that history repeats in the timeless whorl akin to stirring an acre pan of stew or making sandwiches for two hundred people at a picnic. Societal swamps seek some swanky shuffle starting storms. And all the while the little pixies dance in the trees. The unicorns prance, the fairies fly round and round, and all other realmes folk sigh at the endless processions of humans making endless chain of woe. Cause no pattern to rise up from a paper print. For if you do your whole world and house will be prints causing visitors to arrive in many windows to create a karmic reaction and a reaction is a realism and a responsive reach but not a retch. Little frog hums in the kitchen cupboard. He is very bored today and would like to go visit the pond but the machinery placed there ensures it is not safe to hop and when hopping it often is the case that shots are fired from the artillery of the ant people in plastic helmets. They move akin to a swarm of kettledrums on a backlit of carbonised baking trays. Powder that then. Beetroot faced woman in that raspberry printed dress. And to encourage the wrath of a walnut is to embellish a multicolumn of static electricity. Wow. Mish mash mush then. Hahahaha the dancing in the bathroom door hahaha mixed-use mixers mingling mangy mincemeat. Xxxxxxx prese tart structure Paden tar xxxxxxx invertebrates z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z THAT;
Categories:
lettuces, adventure, allah, allusion, analogy,
Form:
"So you're educated and beautiful. Ms.
Night tell me about your dreams or is
working at the bank enough fullfillment?"
"Excuse me may I take your order?"
interrupted the waiter. "Let her order first"
Malik told the waiter. "I'll have the
Braised
Veal Breast and the Yukon Gold Potatoes".
Taking her menu the waiter turned
towards Malik. "I'll have the Seared Sea
Scallops and the Baby Lettuces". Taking
his menu the waiter left. "So Ms. Night
what is your answer to my question?"
"Well for right now I'm happy. Sometimes
I do think about getting another degree".
Biting his bottom lip Malik was trying to
figure out why would a woman as
educated as Kenya asked him out. "What
about yourself Mr. Williams?" "I own a
junkyard. It's a lot of hard work but I like".
Surprised by his answer Kenya asked
what was after dinner. "Well I thought we
would go to the New Moon dance club". "I
haven't danced in a while Malik. I don't
know if I still can dance". "I think you can"
as soon as Malik word's exited his mouth
the
waiter brought their food. After they ate
Kenya was about to pay the bill. "I was
the one who asked you out so I'll pay the
bill". "Now Kenya I can't let you do that.
What type of man would I be" pleased to
hear Malik say those words Kenya let
Malik pay the bill. When the two arrived at
the New Moon dance club they couldn't
believe how crowded it was. Malik paid
Kenya's way in. As soon as they entered
the club Malik pulled Kenya onto the
dance floor. The song Blue Love was
playing which was one of Malik's favorite
song. Kenya started grinding her ass and
hips on Malik.
Written by Keith Edward Baucum aka The
Brown Philosopher
Categories:
lettuces, black african american
Form:
Blank verse
An assortment of assorted asses assessed antelope antics angelically arranged
A vibrant and charming assortment of periwinkles, mints, truffles, sliced peanut cubes, diced baps, and a haddock basted in creamed lard. Now that must surely be an acronym for an actor but actresses prefer the wafer thin biscuit truffles under a melon spray and the painted opaque plaques of prawns and lettuces. Equilateral is a nice neat swooping swerve arriving at ten past six and ten past six is neither ten talking tents timing tuna steaks and nor is it six mammoths doing a handstand in a bandstand. All heads move then. Move around the garden plates with the trays. Little clinking cups filled with bud dews and sandwich stands to make a speech with the cress microphones and the cheese leads. Fantastically flaming flambés flamboyantly flashing fishes. And a little mouse holding a dish was hopeful to gather some creamed buttoned brie and camembert. But only if attired correctly. Rather swim in a puddle then on the top of a flooded skyscraper thought the pigeon. And the balls of the woolly moths and snails in all the walk in wardrobes worldwide clapped until the predicaments were aligned from the large banqueting buffers. Trains did not attend. And neither did Mr bus. Nor terry toweling tram. Bring the eleven cakes at once to get tote song. And strong is a stem and a steam is a stewing steak. Z representational Z at nineteen bangles booming to twelve aerial photographs of a little seeded bun. Z *** HAHAHA XX Z
Categories:
lettuces, beach, beautiful,
Form:
The leaves weren’t wilted I see
A head of lettuce light green crispy
And I had checked finances to boot
I was confident I could cover the loot
The green grocer was standing tall
He had tracked down the lettuces all
But there had been a price
Not raised once twice but thrice
Who would have thought last year
That lettuce would be bought with tears
And I wonder what the bank manager thinks
Having to mortgage for vegetables stinks!
© Paul Warren Poetry
Categories:
lettuces, life,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
My gardening proclivity was widely recognised,
A gift to which my friends would all attest ;
A nuance of distinction in the flavour and the size
Produced a crop a cut above the rest.
A sorry saga started though when carrots disappeared
Then lettuces were strewn across the ground.
And in the barren garden which was once my pride and joy,
No sign of vegetation could be found.
So when my monster marrow met the same disastrous fate,
I hid from sight to catch the brazen thief
And peeping through the aperture within my garden shed
I viewed the scene with utter disbelief!
My neighbour's rabbit sat there somewhat swollen now in size,
Such brash temerity left me aghast!
And then I heard its owner speak these words in gleeful voice:
'The village trophy shall be mine at last!'
23/11/18
Eight Word Challenge-9 Poetry Contest : sponsored by John Hamilton
Categories:
lettuces, animal, garden, jealousy,
Form:
Rhyme
To access the house there was a slight slope from the sidewalk, the door was in the gap under the stairs that led to the upper floor, behind that building was the vegetable garden with lettuces planted under the clothesline where they spread sheets avoiding stepping on the seedlings, five rows of five meters, sure that if you dug there, among the greens, you would reach the other side of the world, china, in huangshi, this is every boy's insular dream, despising rocky core and lava, the imagination fertilized by the archaic atlas affixed to the blackboard on the wooden platform where she, the second mother, professed and extolled the virtues of knowledge for we the donkeys, mere ears outlined in good carpentry desks, shivering in the cold of poverty that forced to wear inadequate clothes, the hexagonal pencil between index, thumb and middle finger, outside the usual six degrees stoning through the fog, well behaved boys and girls, afraid to even ask to go to the bathroom, if you walk and you think about the fact that you are walking, the legs get in the way and lead to the fall, better than the neurons cadence the steps, like a plane that goes on automatic and lands squeaking on the ground, feeling of confident surrender, you lie down and don't remember that may not wake up, unless you, being a child, ask the nanny what death is, she replies that it is when the heart stops working and scared you fall asleep with your hand on the chest, the sound box roars, what astonish is the little white coffin in the living room, brother boy with only four years old, smell of pine from the tree uprooted by the lake, colored balls reflect in the dead pale face, there are no presents but the bells toll and this another noise is from a machine sewing, complements the budget says the first mother with less beautiful but maternal words, she needs to work while her son faces the hades, the coffin will leave for chapel 1 of the mortuary at nine o'clock in the morning, part of the small town is silent and cries, another part plays toys received, christmas.
Categories:
lettuces, brother, cancer, christmas, funeral,
Form:
Prose
Sometimes there's just nothing
the perspective of life, I mean
if you think about the emptiness of this moment
in the possibility of it extending infinitely
or the inevitability of evils
that are about to arrive...
today at the market someone went crazy
threw vegetables in the air, shouted
cried
all that noise
all meaningless
maybe it's something inherent to tuesdays
I need to get home early, I thought
lobotomize my brain with tv
I think that's what we do
we warm the sofa with our bodies
we dream of the amazing days to come
and when they never arrive
we throw lettuces against the sky
we scream
we cry
Categories:
lettuces, analogy, sad,
Form:
Free verse
We always ate salad when I was a kid,
With lettuce and carrots and cukes
And also tomatoes and olives at times
But today, that would bring some rebukes.
For the lettuce was iceberg, which I never buy,
Though we didn’t have choices back then
Or perhaps that’s the kind that my mother preferred,
So she bought it again and again.
I now buy arugula, sometimes romaine
Or a mixture of various kinds
Of colorful lettuces, common today,
Just like spinach, as grocery finds.
I still add tomatoes and carrots and, too,
Things like peppers and sugar snap peas,
But the lettuce will never be iceberg because
My mother’s not here to appease.
Categories:
lettuces, food,
Form:
Rhyme
An orange takes an early lead,
followed by a melon.
Garden peas are catching fast,
so too is the lemon.
Granny Smith’s are overtaking.
Lettuces are gaining.
Kiwi’s move from out the pack.
This is entertaining.
The orange takes the lead again,
now grapes are rolling clear.
Broccoli, asparagus
are getting very near.
We’re nearly at the finish,
and this is getting close.
Trees and soil are cheering
around the winning post.
Pears are in the mix as well.
This is a humdinger.
Yes, a photo finish,
and everyone’s a winner!
Categories:
lettuces, 7th grade, 8th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Big rats in Copenhagen
The biggest supermarket in the world tons of wasted food
rats grew so big they couldn’t live in sewers but nestled
in the tall grass or built tunnels.
Something had to be done, rats didn’t hesitate to attack
toddlers in a pram; cats stayed at home sleeping
on the sofa, knowing they were no match against this enemy.
In this world of spoilt consumers, a banana had to be bright yellow
not a speck of marks on the fruit, lettuces had to look harvested
an hour ago, and the onion had to look new.
What to do with this new plague?
A bright person suggested giving excess food to the poor
and to the old on low pension.
After some economic indecision, the poor also to buy food
the supermarket relented and gave the wasted food away.
It was successful rats shrunk in size went back to the sewers cats came out.
People didn’t realize poverty were the poor as usual
was not seen.
Categories:
lettuces, blessing, cat, pollution,
Form:
Blank verse