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Best Jerk Off Poems | Poetry

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The Best Jerk Off Poems

Details | Jerk Off Poem | Create an image from this poem.

I Dream of Being a Whore

I want to show my body off
Oh so naked and free
Watch those boys jerk-off
Showing skin high above the knee

I want to feel their touch
Feel love in those minutes
Get to kissing and such
Here there are no limits

I want to be an icon
I want that spotlight
Be played like a pawn
Even if it's not right

I want to see their eyes
When they slip inside
They'll treat me like a prize
I'll never become a bride

This is my fantasy
I won't be a bore
I'll learn their anatomy 
I want to be a whore

*Written on May 7, 2012*


Copyright © Lily Mayfield | Year Posted 2012


Details | Jerk Off Poem | Create an image from this poem.

TABOO

they are the voices that go unheard all over the world

it takes more than time to say you changed it takes more than work

we cannot shed our stripes nor can we wash away our sins 

do not touch but you can look how far is going too far

all the fantasies that swim in your brain are the ones that drive you insane

you read ***** magazines and pay for lap dances

make love to your wife thinking about the girl last night

you hide behing a facade of lies and deceit having everyone fooled

in your own quiet time you dress up in womens clothes and pose in the mirror

you jerk off to release your tension and recover

alone time is when you pretend your big daddy

tie a cloth around your hands and smack yourself silly 

no one knows you have this way of life so you buy a hooker and cheat on your wife

with her you can be the freak that you are with her you can be free

you run a business all day and are in charge of many people

inside your feelings run rampant

you have urges you cannot control that cause you to ignite the flame

its only when your with your wife that you really feel ashamed

the problem with the folks today is no one can be themselves

so they disguise who they are and lie to the world

then when they get caught they blame it on everyone else

this is the taboo that noone wants to talk about but its happening everywhere

men dress like woman women act like men hookers are getting rich off our dirty sins

dont be ashamed of who you are because its how we're made

what destroys us in the end is everyone finding out instead of telling them



Copyright © brandy megens | Year Posted 2009


Details | Jerk Off Poem | Create an image from this poem.

Tendencies Ossifying Obsequious Linguistics

I 
do 
have a 
Message for
one Harry Manback
it does regard his long Lost Keys
don't Blame Hoffman for his Disposition, you Jerk Off!
You Lied when you said you didn't hold The Grudge as a Reflection of Intolerance
Makes me so Disgustipated, you should Crawl Away
you're a Hooker with a *****
who likes Prision Sex
when Sober
Hush H.
it's 
true

Cold 
and 
Ugly
repugnant
like Ticks and Leeches
say what I want, not serious
But Jimmy in his Mantra thinks otherwise of you
to him you are the Bottom of The Pot, or like Rosetta Stoned on an Opiate
a Schism separating us Right in Two, Stinkfist!
ne'er you'll have Forty Six and Two
like Fibonacci
Pushit and
Jambi
seems
nice

Here's 
a 
Swamp Song
Eulogy
(Useful Idiot)
Four Degrees of No Quarter gave 
to The Patient caught in the Aenima Undertow
skewed into a Parabola
Intension candid
Part of Me
needs to
Sweat 
tears

Now
my 
Third Eye
becoming
Vicarious through
the pure Lateralus Triad


Copyright © keith osborne | Year Posted 2016


Details | Jerk Off Poem | Create an image from this poem.

spicy bell pepper

Stop watching me with those derisory eyes 
sweet like bear claw
spicy like a bell pepper
give me back my barette
I'm not letting my hair down'
from cooties to copacetic my biggest disease
jus like when u was  freshman
lost your retainer cried all day
give me back my fanny pack
you kept it all those years
crazy grifter lost on the freeway
looking for route 66 in a gay way
why you back jerk off?
scads of luv but to late
here's a sawbuck go call someone who cares!



Copyright © Serenity Fox | Year Posted 2015


Details | Jerk Off Poem | Create an image from this poem.

drive in

Pale blue and pink hooded tumbleweeds
Roll down the concrete corridor
Orange sodium vapor half lights
Half lit yellow tagged parking lot
Illuminated fake plastic trees all in a row
While acetylene fires stroke an ultramarine sky
Under stars
Corner homeless stumps and slumps and dumps
Warmed by desolation desert asphalt steam pumps
Electronic red laser reader
Smiling chain link razor wire jerk off greeter
“How are you today, Mr. Jones?”


Copyright © dennis jones | Year Posted 2014


Details | Jerk Off Poem | Create an image from this poem.

Just Friends

We're just friends
I've told you time and again
You locked my dog inside a pen
We really had to make amends-
And now we're just friends

We're just pals
I've said it over and over
You buried all of my oil pascals
Really rude and moreover
You don't even seem to have morale-
So now we're just pals

We're just colleagues
How many times must I say it?
You're such a lying hypocrite
You tried to join all the jerk off leagues-
So now we're just colleagues

WE'RE JUST PAST ACQUAINTANCES
LAST TIME I SAY!
YOU TOOK ALL OF MY MONTHLY PAY
AND TRIED TO ENTER THE GOLDEN SLEIGH!
YOU NEVER WORK AND NEVER PRAY
AND YOU"RE ALWAYS COMMENTING ON HOW MUCH I WEIGH!
YOU HATE MY DELICIOUS NUTRITIOUS WHEY
AND TO YOU EVERYTHING ON EARTH IS GREY
SO TO OUR RELATIONSHIP
NAY I SAY!!!! 


Copyright © Grace Englebreeze | Year Posted 2017