Best Hand Off Poems
I love how your long chestnut hair flows over your gentle shoulders,
And when the sun searches you out for a moment, your hair sparkles…
Because I lit a match and threw it into that rat infested hair ball that you
Waste all your time on. Next up is your head which I’m going to rip…
Don’t listen to him. I’m mesmerized by your deep blue eyes, when they lovingly
Gaze In my direction. I will never make you shed a tear, my dear…
But I’m going to kick you about this filthy house. It looks like all you’ve
Done all day is piss in the wind. And stop your crying; your baggy eyes are…
Ignore him, my love. Your soft, gentle touch upon my face arouses my senses to new Heights. All my cares wash away as your aquiline hand slowly glides along my arm…
What the hell does he know? If you don’t get your boney hand off me, I’m going to break it In half. And the next time I catch you trying to be nice I’m going to throw you out with…
Stop that, Hyde. Sorry, my love, but as I was saying, your body is a masterpiece sculpted out of the finest treasures. I’m in awe of its supple curves, how it flinches to the touch…
Oh, shut up Doc, you’re killing me. And speaking of killing, I feel like pummeling
The living daylights out of your emaciated, piece of good for nothing…
Please be mine baby, before I’m lost forever to…
I’m in charge, so get over here and take it like…
I’m fading, my love. Hurry, say you’ll be mine. Save us.
I’m going to tear you apart. You’re no baby, you’re a…
Save me, before the monster wins…
Too late, Dr., she will be all mine soon…
Just a kiss, my dear. Just a…
‘Slap’, take that b****...
One kiss. Now! -The Dr. and his lover kiss- Thank you, my love. Let that vile
Monster rest in peace, so that we will be left in peace from it for evermore.
Bugger
17th July 2015
Last night my missus gave me some oysters for tea
Was I in for a night of rip snorting whoopee?
I showered and shaved trying to smell like a stud
Her half dozen oysters must have all of been duds.
Things were desperate so I engaged in foreplay
What old men do when they want a roll in the hay
I groveled I pleaded, even whined like a dog
But for all of my efforts all I got was a snog.
So should she ever give me a little blue pill
I now know it sure won’t be for an evening of thrill.
Her response
So you’re disappointed
That all you got was just a snog
How about make an effort
Stop smelling like grog
I don’t care for begging,
And sexual wee stirrings
Have a shave and a shower,
That'll start me concurring.
Now take your hand off my breast,
Just help me cook the kids tea
Grab the vacuum, do the house,
That’ll be enough foreplay for me
Hang out the washing,
Then feed the pets.
Do homework with the kids
Please now go make the beds,
Scrub all the pots,
Make sure you do the lids
Thank you my dear,
Your help was just great,
It's nice just not to nag
What! What do you mean?
You’re too tired for a shag?
28th September
Silent One's Competition
In response to my first poem
Foggy mists slither through the highlands
As downdrafts force them to the riverbanks
To the naked eye ethereal warm icicles
Among tow’ring long-needle pines piercing sky
From the other side near the rustic cabin
The yawning night watchman waits the 7:30
Preparing to hand off the latest dispatches in
A leather satchel, the hook catching its strap
The silent river valley comes alive screeching
Then wanes to deadly silence, the fog lifting
As he prepares to hand over to the day shift
Driving the winding road home, sleepy-eyed
written October 29, 2021
One minute left on the clock
Four points down, championship at stake
Third down, five yards from the goal
Hefty defensive linemen gritting teeth
eager
anxious
Do you run the ball?
or pass?
Quarterback fakes a hand-off
Linemen not fooled, scatter to block receivers
Quarterback sneak wins the game!
*For the "Pass" contest. Probably only football fans will get this one.
Neel gazing deeply into Misha's eyes
intimate time of love
Misha is resting her head
dreaming in Neel's lap
wrapped and protected
warmth of his love
Neel caressing her head
loving all hived in his heart
over the ages after separation
sharing sweet eye lock
sat Neel and Misha
enticed by each others charm
relive those moments of love
Neel then puts his hands on Misha's
grips it in his strong one's
telling he is there
now together ever forever
Misha blushes as all this happens
sudden loud trumpet is heard
disturbs the peace of mating two
Neel took his hand off Misha's
she sits troubled on
why this happened
Neel other hand gets up on a fit
marching towards the place
leaving lonely Misha behind
a glimpse taken from my autobiographical fiction
SHADES BELOW (reunion of Neel and Misha)
Misha__me
Neel_majestic man of my dreams
I try so hard to keep my eyes open.
Try so hard not to see the past,
What you did to me,
Turning back into the helpless child looking for mommy or daddy.
You tell me I was wrong, you must punish me, I cry,
It hurts, what did I do?
You don't know how to answer, only what to do.
Now I have nightmares and in the darkness I see the damage you have done,
Do you know how long it took to fix my mind from all the damage you brought on?
Did you have kids of your own? Did you touch them too?
Have you died yet, are you burning in the hell you put me through?
If only there was a way for me to get to you
Cut those evil hand off and play guys who.
Now I suffer from images of things I can't change
And grow from the dreams of the man I'd love to hang.
Whoa! A dog walker at three o'clock, damn, super bad,
and a most very pretty woman also I might add,
a pretty woman who loves dogs, something we share in common.
Opportunity is knocking, time for TheKidster to do his thing.
''Does your dog bite?'' I ask the pretty woman walking her dog,
She says, "She has never bitten any human or any other dog."
The dog almost took my hand off when I went to pet it.
''I thought you said that your dog doesn't bite!'' to her I said.
''This isn't my dog,'' she said winking, "now kindly drop dead."
Lying in a darkened room; clutching at her breast;
She thought that when she come in there; she might get some rest.
Emanating perspiration; from her shoulders and her neck;
Cloths all thrown about the floor; and the blankets are a wreck.
Thinking in her mind; can't you hurry up;
My eggnog's spiked and ready; and sitting in a cup.
Ho-ho Merry Christmas; now get your hand off of my boob;
Isn't there a football game; plying on the tube.
Sitting in his favorite chair; paper there in hand;
Over in the dinning room; the Misses makes her plans.
She shows to him a catalog; of things that she might like;
And don't forget our johnny boy; says he wants a bike.
Thinking in his mind; how about you get a job;
And maybe lose a pound or two; you're looking like the blob.
Time to light the furnace; winter now is here;
But never mind the extra cost; Christmas time is near.
I saw this fellow Santa Clause; working at the store;
I bet his little misses; keeps demanding more.
Ho-ho Merry Christmas; a blessing to us all;
A well rehearsed distraction; until the tax man calls.
They have been mentioning using Mobile Phones whilst driving on the local BBC Radio Station. I had the urge to write the following,. As I have been struck off their page I wont be able to send them a copy, will I? Sad or what? lol
Ringing in The Cloud!
By Stanley Russell Harris
The new mad Author
& A Poetry Soup honourable mentioned poet.
Can you hear my mobile phone?
I’m sure I heard it ring.
I only took one hand off my steering wheel.
To answer the blinking thing!
Now I cannot hear a ring.
Up in the cloud, where I be.
I’m sure I heard my mobile phone.
Now I can’t hear a blinking thing.
Please if you are driving concentrate on that and stop being tempted to answer your mobile. Hand's free kits are better as you keep your hands where they should be working the cars controls and there are enough of them. Stay safe everyone so at the end of the day you can return home or wherever you are heading. Police are issuing 6 points on your licence plus a fine so be wise. Stanley.
Form:
I must hang a “Do not Disturb” sign
On the door of my heart.
DO NOT DISTURB!
My heart is troubled enough as it is.
Do not disturb.
Oh please...just walk on by
The resident inside
Is in an induced blissful sleep
Do not disturb her slumber
for perhaps.....
in her solitude...
She has found her haven.
Do not disturb!
Do not disturb her...
With your lies
With your alibis
With your flattery
With your mockery
With your demands
With your commands
Do not disturb
DO NOT DISTURB!....
Sh......
Hush now....
Take your hand off the latch
Tread softly
For I wish to sleep
And not to weep
Do not Disturb...
All is peace within
To disturb is a sin
I’ve found my sanctuary
Safe from harm
And deceptive charm
Let me be...
Do not disturb
Do NOT disturb
My heart is in recovery!
Gunfire blasts as chiseled arms and legs
begin to rotate
Getting out and kicking is the key, one
mustn't hesitate
My leg is ALL mine to run and for me to
consume total control
I must run freely and fearlessly, I must
dig deep down within the depths of my
soul
Running this race isn't about selfish pride
and egoistic glory
It's about being true, doing my part and
running so that we all may get the victory
Yes! I must be careful and ready when
the baton is passed my way
My grip must be tight, my mind focused and
my heart in it for there mustn't be any
delay
I must receive, own and hone my leg like a
true winner
If I do otherwise, then all the work done before me
will mean nothing. The headlines will read,
"LOSER"
When my leg is done, I must do the right thing
and pass the baton
A carefully administered hand-off to my teammate,
just a token of unity... an attempt to cross the finish
line as ONE
The psalmist makes a promise or two
to guard his mouth and his ways
holding his tongue so not to sin
when the wicked presence stays
But finds it so difficult to do
for fighting within is burning fire
causing his distress to grow worse
now he speaks to prove he's no liar
O Lord show me my life's length
show me the shortness of it all
you've made it only a breath or two
so my life is in a long stall
My hope is in the Lord to wait
so from my transgressions deliver me
remove your very heavy hand off
make my prayer's answer to see
Sojourn with you I will continually
despite my tears let me know peace
look away so I can again smile
before my life here will cease
(PSALM 39 (ESV)
I said, “I will guard my ways,
that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth with a muzzle,
so long as the wicked are in my presence.”
I was mute and silent;
I held my peace to no avail,
and my distress grew worse.
My heart became hot within me.
As I mused, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:
“O Lord, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah
Surely a man goes about as a shadow!
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil;
man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!
“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you.
Deliver me from all my transgressions.
Do not make me the scorn of the fool!
I am mute; I do not open my mouth,
for it is you who have done it.
Remove your stroke from me;
I am spent by the hostility of your hand.
When you discipline a man
with rebukes for sin,
you consume like a moth what is dear to him;
surely all mankind is a mere breath! Selah
“Hear my prayer, O Lord,
and give ear to my cry;
hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you,
a guest, like all my fathers.
Look away from me, that I may smile again,
before I depart and am no more!”)
My eyelids droop my head begins to nod
I am struggling hard to stay awake
On a long drive in the pouring rain
I feel I am being hypnotized
I am struggling hard to stay awake
I turn the air conditioning on full blast
I feel like I am being hypnotized
I will just close my eyes for a moment
I turn the air conditioning on full blast
Taking my hand off the wheel I slap my face
I will just close my eyes for a moment
As my car drifts I awake with a start
Taking my hand off the wheel I slap my face
I must be mad yet I need to get home
As my car drifts I awake with a start
I am no longer traveling on the road
I must be mad yet I need to get home
The car is now beyond my control
I am no longer traveling on the road
In this moment there are no more choices
The car is now beyond my control
On a long drive in the pouring rain
In this moment there are no more choices
My eyelids droop my head begins to nod
On a long drive in the pouring rain
My life blood pours from my veins
My eyelids droop my head begins to nod
My life slowly yet quickly ebbs away
lately I've been lazy
crazy
my sunshine
reflects off frost
i reminisce about innocence
lost
and found
like a rebound
in the fourth quarter
ball in hand off the board
26,000 fans and still we're bored
despite that we're lords
I want brothers in hordes
panther style
revolution is our idle wild
just you wait and see
MALCOLM AIN'T DEAD
he's reborn in ME
He's rolling along the blacktop,
Rolling past Flora's crop,
Like a disinterested wind,
A Zephyr without a clue...
He doesn't stop to take notice,
It's just one foot before the next,
Placing his worn out size twelve
Atop a sweet daisy...
His touch is rough, and,
Better fit the for handling the
Painstaking labors of life
Than cultivating flowers in the garden,
Some men take pleasure in plucking lilies!
They are the farm hands who reap your fields!
Other men specialize in sowing seeds,
They are those who recognize the flowers' needs...
He's not so handsome as Narcissus,
But knows well, how to piss a goddess off!
He laid to waste and wilt many flowers
And soon gained the title of 'invasive weed'!
He has no place in the garden,
No knowledge of the flowers' anatomy,
His touch is too rough to the pedal
He can't keep his hand off the pistil
Pluck the weed
That cannot heed
The need of a flowering seed
Out of my garden she decreed