Best Gerald Poems
Behold the great Gerald.
I am an explorer extraordinaire. I uncovered the truth of hauntings and Loch Ness.
I put the U.F.Os to rest. I discovered ruins beneath the sea, there is nothing that can
hide from me.
...Except jobs.
The one elusive job. It is an old wives tale, this job. No one has ever seen it and I
have scoured the earth to find it. Alas it was to no avail, yet I will net concede. I
will prove that jobs exist!
I shall swim, the swimming arches, I shall leap, the leaping smog clouds, I shall dodge
the homeless traffic and strap donuts to my back. I shall excavate the toxic waste fields
until leprosy becomes me. I will find a job!!!!
...Oh who am I kidding?
He proclaims he is in misery
Broken hearten he is
He is so lonely that he could stay
In the woods for days
Depressed in his thoughts
He sits all alone, with his folded hands around his legs
"i'm in search of love" He mourns
"I’m broken down,
confused, disdained and
my only friend is my misery".
As another long year comes to an end,
I'm glad to have known you for all these years.
I'm proud to be able to call you friends.
You are the true meaning of the word peers.
Though I may be much younger than you guys,
You quite often invite me as a friend.
It's because of this, and by no surprise
That, on the two of you, I can depend.
You're not afraid to tell me how you feel,
Always giving me your honest advice.
I appreciate that you're always real,
And no matter how you say it, it's nice.
So, thank you so much for being my friends.
May the next year keep us all healthy.
Whether it's money or not that God sends,
With friends like you, I'm already wealthy.
A woman in scrubs came to the waiting room.
She was wearing a pony tail and tennis shoes.
“GERALD!” she yelled loudly.
No one got up.
An older lady with pink hair and a floppy hat looked at me.
She shrugged.
I smiled, but she could not see it because of the mask.
There is a minute of silence.
Another nurse came out and yelled GERALD!
Several of us looked up and down at each other.
No one moved.
The older lady with the pink hair rolled her eyes.
A few minutes later the pony tailed nurse returned.
GERALD! She hollered.
The pink haired lady asked “Do you mean Gerard?”
Apparently she did.
Gerard was the old guy with the pink haired lady.
Gerald was such an ordinary man
He went to work and was a music fan
But what he really liked the best
Was hot chips butties better than the rest
So at the end of each day
He went to the shop for his hot chips right away
At home he made his sandwich so quick
Scoffing it straight away to the end of it
But this time he felt quite sick
Laying down on his sofa closing his eyes for a bit
And when he woke he knew something was wrong
With insatiable cravings for hot chips becoming his song
Now his days are filled with this quest
Seeking and eating chip butties was the best
Gerald wanders the world wide
His chip butty curse now being his pride
In his wanderings across the earth
He found a land where chip butties are known for their worth
For Scotland treasures this mighty snack the most
And Gerald lives there loving it as his boast.
© Paul Warren Poetry
YOUR FRIENDS WILL STAND IN YOUR FACE
SAY THE THINGS THAT YOU WANT THEM TO SAY
BUILD YOUR EGO TO THE MOON
THEN LET YOU THINK ALL OF IT IS TRUST
BUT IF YOU KNEW
I MEAN IF YOU KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON
YOU'D STAND ALONE
BE BY YOURSELF AND TRY TO WALK REAL TALL
FOUND OUT
SHE COULDN'T WHAT HE NEEDED HER TO BE
STRANGIN HIM ALONG
THAT'S WHAT HE GET'S
IS HER ONLY SONG
SHE REHEARSED IT WITH HER FRIENDS
YOUR BEST INTEREST
IT AINT THAT SOUGHT OF THING
KINDA FEEL LIKE SINGING
SING A SONG
WHERE YA'LL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING BOUT
CATCH ON
AND SING WITH ME
LET THE WORDS
COME OUT YOUR MOUTH
CLAP IF YOU WILL
DANCE: YA'LL GON GET DOWN
LINE BY LINE
LET ME SING
HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THE SOUND
TAKE MY TIME LET ME CROON
GASP AND APPLAUD IF
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
YA'LL KNOW THIS SONG
IT A SONG ABOUT
WHAT I LEARNED AND WHAT I'VE FOUND