Best Funnysound Poems
If humans chirped, chirped, chirped
What would it sound like if they burped?
Would it sound like a chirp-up?
Or like they got their leg caught in a stirrup?
If humans chirped and ate and burped
Would it sound divine or like they lurched?
Would it sound as if they ate worms?
Or ate lobster and with the cook they came to terms?
Ahhh, lets just wonder what it would sound like
if humans chirped and if they would use a mic?
By Susan Mills
A Sound in the Bushes
By Elton Camp
I take this walk most every day.
It helps worrisome cares to allay.
Today’s the first I have heard
A sound different from a bird.
Unless my ear misconceives
It is the rustling of fall leaves.
But what could be around
To make that type of sound?
Perhaps a convict on the lam?
Or my neighbor, Psycho Sam?
Maybe a ferocious wild beast
That’s on the search for a feast?
Though it makes me quake,
Might it be a rattlesnake?
A skunk would be more tolerable
Even if it sprays its odor horrible.
I decide it’s best to walk on by
To find the source I won’t try.
Then a sound nearly makes my heart stop.
From the bushes and on the road, a plop.
The creature of whatever kind
It is now walking right behind.
I don’t dare look back to see
What is now following me.
There is nobody I can call for help
Although it matches step-for-step.
I decide it’s best not to know
So, shaking, down the road I go.
Cold and wet touches my hand.
It’s almost more than I can stand.
I turn around all ready to fight
What is causing me such fright.
Then I gasp at the sight
And smile with delight.
My friendly old hound
My location has found.
Hanging is too good for them,
Should cut their danglies off.
Use a rusty jigsaw blade,
They’d be afraid to cough.
Our great Judicial system,
with infinite foresight,
Ignores these sound suggestions,
That you and I think right.
For Judges and the legal type,
at our expense guffaw,
believing that like
God and Queen,
they are above the Law.
It is often intimated,
that despite this regal pose,
they wear peepholes bras
and stockings underneath their
Chamber robes.
No underpants to interfere,
restrict ,affect or stay
thus keeping verdicts
cool and poised
for any courtroom play.
So when Chief Justice
leans or frowns
or shuffles on his throne
Its probably suspenders
that are causing him to moan
Or just perhaps
his strapless bra,
Is chaffing on his back,
perchance his basque’s
laced up too tight,
or his g-strings up his crack.
Some trials that end surpisingly,
the verdict gone askew,
Owe more to misplaced
leather thong,
than legal point of view.
Perhaps the nuts that
need cut off,
are not from pervert kind,
but rather leading Legal ones,
No longer sound of mind.
Gorilla Girl
Let's give gorilla gal a great big hoot.
Queen of the Great Apes, she is living on fruit.
Loosing weight is her latest toot.
Swinging through the trees in her Sunday suit.
(For fun use link! Hear hoots. Think pink!)
One hip replaced! Fearless. Happy faced.
Hearts, love, showers, lace. Gorilla Girl's smiling face.
Perched on one leg; giving her walker a whirl.
She silences wild screams and gives hopefulness a twirl.
(For fun use link! Hear screams. Get shrink!)
Slow as a snail she goes and does not stumble.
Swinging through the trees trying not to fumble.
Uproarious sounds, without one grumble.
No sweets for treats Feasting “She beast” crumbles!
(For fun use link! Rumble! Sneak a wink!)
“Gorilla Gal” craves sweets. Big hunt must grunt.
Rolling with laughter. Medicine? Drunk?”
What's that sound? A pig? Not a skunk?
Oh, what a hunt! Sweet chunks. Hidden trunk.
(For fun use link! Pig grunt! DIET... Drink)
Never fear, the end is near.
Pain and agony are steering clear.
Pound those chests to her with cheer.
“Gorilla Gal” has recuperation near.
(For fun use link! Chest beats! Laughs…
Swim in the sink. Get a drink. Try to wink.
Do not blink! She's on the brink.
LOL the link! The link! The link!)
© Dane Smith-Johnsen
December 17, 2009
IF YOU WANT SOME GREAT FUN, OPEN THIS LINK BESIDE THE POEM AND LISTEN TO
SOUNDS AS INDICATED.... Inspiration!
http://www.gorillafund.org/gorilla_fun/gorilla_sounds_flash.php
1st sound “Hoots”
2nd sound “Adolescent Screams”
3rd sound “Rumble” (Food found, low sounds.)
4th sound “Pig Grunt”
5th sound “Chest Beats”
6th sound “Laughs”