Best Funnyprayer Poems
Squeaky and his buddies resided somewhere deep within the church's organ.
That elusive rodent was the bane of the pastor, The Reverend Doctor Morgan!
The reverend almost lost his religion a time or two dealing with sneaky Squeaky,
Since he and his troublesome pals at inopportune times could be rather cheeky!
The doughty Ladies Aid Committee "religiously" prepared the communion bread.
There were 500 saints at The First Baptist Church whose souls must be fed.
For Communion Sunday, each Saturday they stored the bread on kitchen shelves.
'Twas an invitation for Squeaky and his squad to "commune" and gorge themselves!
The formidable Miss Freda Wringerhands had been the organist for forty years.
Hitting a wrong note on the old pump organ was one of her greatest fears!
She was puzzled by a strange "mousy" squeak that was occasionally heard.
The reverend doctor gave her a very reproving glare whenever that occurred!
Just as the reverend doctor finished his prayer and prepared to preach,
A screech awoke Mr. Clyde Backslider who shouted, "son uvva beech!"
His wife Grace fled down the aisle screaming, "Lord, have mercy on me!"
Squeaky had abruptly scaled her panty hose and was playing about her knee!
The Reverend Doctor Morgan did all he could to bring about Squeaky's demise,
But his kith and kin multiplied and produced generations of impish mice!
With the antics of Squeaky the tolerant congregation was somewhat bemused,
But the long-suffering Reverend Doctor Morgan was not at all amused!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
I suppose that nearly every town has its share of self-appointed snobs,
A few old crabs and the usual crowd of ordinary Bills, Jills and Bobs.
In our fair village there's a character whose name is "Squire" Squab,
Whose well-known eccentricities stand out among the seething mob!
No one seems to know how the title of "squire" he acquired.
Nor has anyone that I know of really ever inquired.
He certainly isn't a lawyer, justice of the peace or judge,
Though he assumes those self-appointed roles at the slightest nudge!
He always wears a derby hat, spats and a dovetail coat.
Kids harass him unmercifully trying to get his goat!
On his daily stroll downtown he'll sidle up to some hapless soul,
With a myriad of inane propositions that he wishes to extol!
Many times at town council meetings, that august body he'll disrupt,
To denounce their ancestry, telling them that they are most corrupt!
At Baptist prayer meetings he often disturbs their peace,
And must be cuffed and escorted to jail by the local police!
Although some folks consider the "Squire" a peculiar curiosity,
Others like to think that he exudes a distinguished virtuosity!
When all is said and done, he is simply a naive and harmless guy,
But he certainly animates our town, this we surely can't deny!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
I don’t have a favourite,
I love each and every one
Whether happy or sad
Cheerful or glum
I love Prayer Claire
And Lazy Daisy
Gaudy Maudie
And Crazy Maisy
I love Blue Sue
And Classy Darcy
Timid Ingrid
And Brassy Marcie
I love Shy Di
And Sullen Ellen
Beige Paige
And Barren Karen
I love Chipper Pippa
And Hairy Mary
All of them from homely
To a little bit scary