Best Funnyparents Poems
A vexatious question posed by kids of every generation,
One that sets parents to gnashing their teeth with irritation,
And tends to spread a pall over a well-planned vacation,
Is, "Are we there yet?" along the way to their destination!
From the rear seat, there's a paucity of civil conversation.
Mom's firm hand has resolved many a truculent confrontation!
Dad's patience has reached the point of violent detonation!
"Are we there yet?" the kids whine, to their parent's consternation!
The stalwart Pilgrims sailed the roiling seas with trepidation,
Risking their very lives to escape the bonds of privation.
The age-old query from kids must've driven them to exacerbation!
"Are we there yet?" pestered the kids to their parents aggravation!
It had to be a daunting venture to join the westward migration,
As Pa faced the rugged Rockies, the vastness of God's Creation!
Roaring rivers and Indians - he surely had that sinking sensation!
Did he suffer kids' "Are we there yet?" for the trek's duration?
Does this annoying phrase develop during gestation?
Is it primordial? Has it been around since Creation?
Has it something to do with genetics or even reincarnation?
Parents merit a special place in heaven for enduring such recitation!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)
On the naming of a child
Certain protocols should be followed by the registrar
Protocol one
If the chosen name is Rainbow or Honey dew
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And given a book containing sensible names
This process should be repeated until a sensible choice is made
Protocol Two
If the chosen name is Chardonnay or Champagne
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And a large group of people should be assembled to laugh at them
The parents should then be given a dictionary
To look up the definitions of the names that they chose
This process should also be repeated until a sensible choice is made
Protocol Three
If the chosen name is Moonflower or Gallifrey
Then firstly the parents should be slapped
And the child should be immediately taken into care
Then the parents should be put in the stocks
So sensible people can throw rotten fruit at them
Before finally being committed to an institution
PS – Should it ever be deemed that they have been cured
They should be sterilised before release
And their names entered on the pretentious parents register
PPS - Anyone from Cardiff, The Wirral, Norfolk, Suffolk or Essex will inevitably
Name the child after a piece of fruit, a place they have visited
The name of their favourite car or a product from a supermarket
As a result these people should not be trusted to name their children.
Registrars must name the children for them
In the same way that Hurricanes and tropical storms are named
If they complain go straight to Protocol three
The Goldfish
By Elton Camp
The parents knew their child wanted a pet
They didn’t think he was ready for a dog yet
Maybe little Robert can be enough satisfied
If an aquarium for some goldfish they tried
And they knew that when they went anywhere
Fish can stay at home without any need of care
Expense was far greater than they ever dreamed
But they needed pump, filter and plants it seemed
In two days, everything seem to be ready and set
Except that they hadn’t bought the goldfish yet
Robert went with them to help pick out a few
When Robert got there, he asked only for two
The boy released them and they began to swim
In the aquarium, they looked just right to him
The next morning, the parents go a bad surprise
To the water’s surface, belly-up, both fish did rise
For the death of the fish, parents didn’t know why
So they decided to explain it to Robert with a lie
“Jesus needed the goldfish up in heaven with him.
So now in the celestial lake the two of them swim.
Robert frowned as he gave the tale some thought
The terrible fate of the goldfish they had bought
Then the boy said, “This one thing I sure do wish,
Please tell me why Jesus needs to have goldfish?”