Best Funnynice Poems
I’m Kong the Gorilla, formerly of Africa,
but I now live in New York, in North America.
Carl Denham and his boys had to go and capture me.
They sailed on a boat to my land to make a movie.
A nearby native tribe was as nice as they could be.
I would be worshipped, and they’d leave a woman for me.
A member of Denham’s crew was a blonde with beauty.
Her name was Anne Darrow. Wow, she was a real cutie!
The tribe abducted her because blondes have scarcity
in that part of the world where I would roam nice and free.
They thought of her as the perfect sacrifice for me;
so they left her out as something complimentary.
When the crew of the ship came to rescue dear Annie,
Carl Denham got a bright idea quite suddenly.
Being greedy, he thought he would make lots of money.
Like a fool, I would become attached to this honey.
So with all of those tranquilizer guns, they shot me.
They took me to New York to live in captivity.
It was there my life history turned another page.
I was in chains in a theatre upon the stage.
It was there when I learned Anne would marry Jack Driscoll.
What did she see in that guy? I’ll say he’s an CENSORED!
When I found out about that, I got mad and broke free.
Then I grabbed Anne and I would take her away with me.
To the top of the Empire State Building we would be.
Then those dummies sent a squadron of planes after me.
You know what happened next, that really ruined my day.
To my son in Africa, here is what I will say:
“Son, I want you to beware. I’m hoping that you hear,
Carl Denham is returning to Africa next year.”
[ well this is about what happened the one
day to me en idk I wrote about it cuz umm
well Ima poet and that's what I do. Enjoy:) ]
You bit me! You bit me!
What a strange thing to do.
You bit me! You bit me!
Why would you?
You bit me! You bit me!
It was a test you say?
You bit me! You bit me!
Now I'm left with no words to say.
You bit me! You bit me!
You couldn't possibly have known!
I dnt believe I told you, you didn't know,
you only guessed,or wait, did you?
You bit me! You bit me!
So bizare.
You bit me! You bit me!
Better not leave a scar!
You bit me! You bit me!
It worked and you didn't even see.
You bit me! You bit me!
You turned me on, could of gotten to base 3.
You bit me! You bit me!
There's nothing left to say.
You bit me! You bit me!
Have a nice day!:)
You bit me! You bit me!
There's nothing left to say.
You bit me! You bit me!
Have a nice day! :)
I thought you might like to try this
It's a brand new recipe
I used to eat it when I was a kid
My mama used to make it for me
We tried to sell it to that chicken guy
I think Colonel Sanders was his name
But he said he'd stick with poultry
And we could keep the wild game
It's got a little bit of wild taste
A little gamey, if you will
But I'm sure, you're gonna love it
And I know you'll eat your fill
Grab you a pot with six potatos
And cut them up, nice and fat
Some carrots and peas for flavor
We really can't forget about that
Now the salt and pepper is a must
Just a little more than a pinch
Don't worry about messing this up
Cause it really is a cinch
Now you better not forget the oregno
You gotta have all your spices
Then take your meat from the freezer
And cut it up in real small slices
Just put it on low and let it simmer
Till the meat gets nice and pink
You may have to open a window or two
For sometimes, it tends to stink
When it's almost done, you stab it
With a stick that you find in the yard
Sometimes the meat get's a little bit tough
So you may have to poke it pretty hard
So, now your meal is finally finished
And wasn't that nice and quick?
I hope you like this family secret
And enjoy your skunk on a stick
Burton Troup’s Surprise
By Elton Camp
Burton came home at end of day,
He found that his wife was away.
Then he learned the reason why.
Note said, “I have groceries to buy.”
Their two dogs ran with a yap
And jumped into Burton’s lap.
That brought to him a big smile,
So he played with them a while.
A half-hour later, Burton began to grumble
“I am so hungry my stomach does rumble.
The aroma from the kitchen lets me know
That my wife already has supper on the go.”
The source of the enticement he did seek.
He opened the oven door and took a peek.
Right there before his eyes
Burton found a nice surprise.
“Wife’s meatloaf can’t be beat.
It looks like it is all ready to eat.”
He figured it would be all right
For him to sample a tasty bite.
“Oh, man, this really tastes great.
I’ll take a big serving on my plate.”
Burton finished it all and was getting more.
He heard his wife come in from the store.
“If I’d known I’d be this late, I’d have called,
But by the customers and traffic I was stalled.
While I put the groceries away,
Please do a little job for me today.”
“Dog food in the oven should be nice and hot.
Take it out and feed the dogs in the usual spot.
They don’t eat that cheaper brand too well,
So I thought I would try heating it for a spell.”
(Note: A true story.)
I love to be in my garden on a nice hot summer's day
The scent from all the flowers, beautiful colors array
I've got my shorts and flip flops on, I'm sitting in my chair
I think I'll go to the fridge and get a nice cold beer
Its nice sitting in my garden relaxing in the sun
Drinking my cold beer now all the works been done
I bet your mouth is getting dry, as your reading on
Would you like a nice cold beer
Whoops, sorry they've all gone.