Best Fatter Poems

I've grown a bit slower, I've grown a bit fatter,
  my mission each hour: relieving my bladder.
When I was a youngster, I had no...

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Now, I am not a huge man

I'm not large by any means

In fact it is surprising

I still wear normal jeans

My pants don't have elastics

I still...

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We are a jelly jar full of pencils new in town.
From Europe we came heads up, points down.
No fancy names, we shared the same woodshed
and...

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One single dish with one single pea

The sign on the door said, 
Come one and come all
We welcome the short
and we welcome the tall

From the...

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She wore pineapple rings for glasses
and walked like jelly dances
I didn't rate her chances
She used to wee standing up
she cooked lemon a'la duck
won the lottery,...

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(Chorus)
You think you've got swagger but really you hobble,
you've got the jet lagger and you're drunk so you wobble,
don't start on me mate 'cus I...

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I once awoke into a dream
And there I saw a sight.
Adrift, a draft of Daffodils
Breezed on a hard day's night.

Still looking up and at the...

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I think I shall never see the beauty
In absurdity of human bareness.
The aide in whom God entrusted duty
Of our design was quite inept, I’d guess.
The...

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"It" whispered strange somethings into her ear.
As she gazed intently into the mirror.
"Its" voice was soft yet "it" taunted her so.
She wished to flee "it"...

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From June to September
I cannot remember
A damn thing that I did
What took me over
Was a monster called Bipolar
Which escaped from the shadows where it hid

And...

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The bees buzzed as they always did
and storms receded.
Silence hushed itself inside a shell.
Jackrabbits hopped away from hell
still intoxicated.

The village swarmed with threats.
Honest men could...

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What a joke 
What a laugh 
People stressing 
The overdraft 

Oh my 
Oh me 
How much will it be? 

Can I afford to pay? 
Another...

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It's spring. Cares we're flinging,
and the birds are winging;
their birdlings are singing
growing fatter!

Love doves now are cooing.
So what could be brewing?
Romance is ensuing.
That's the matter!

All...

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A Grisly Tapeworm	


In Anger and in Hatred, a Tapeworm I see 
Unless internally hosted, its Life will not be.
From egg it starts Life, ‘fore an...

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GABLE’S ETERNAL LOVE

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a...
After all, my true love fell with wings!
No twig nor heifer could compare…

This screwball comic welcomed dawn,
dauntless...

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