Best Fatter Poems
Trump Becoming Fatter and Fatter
All Trump does is make us madder,
While scant brain still goes scatter;
A total loss and orange haired toad;
Changed from Morris to Trump code;
Finding him growing fatter and fatter.
(Maybe one day will fall down ladder.)
Threw in last one for each time he
walks down ramp from Air Force
One so my wife said.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Volatile Veteran and Poet
What the hey??
I'M TURNING GREY
please be kind
AND LOCK AWAY
Dorito chips and Pringles too
MY GUT REVEALS and so do you!!
Jello gelatin for my waist
ADVENT AGE to embrace
Who can fight these times,today?
UNFLATTERING HIPS prepare the way
Getting to be an ugly guy
OLD AGE wrinkles and THEN WE DIE!
Trying hard to correct my bladder
But instead..
KEEP GETTING FATTER AND FATTER!!
No longer can I reach my toes
It's what I fear
MY ADVANCING WOES!!
Cookies are a favorite treat
Hot Dog Weenies just can't be beat
This old man now ends his rap
Beg your pardon
WHILE I GO TAKE A CRAP!!
I’m getting fatter and fatter with each passing day,
And my chest looks like breasts perhaps a child might say,
But when I think of the people that cannot eat at all,
Who cannot work from trouble and the pain of life’s falls,
Then I tell you in an instant, I am thankful for every roll,
Cause it speaks to my privilege from much of life’s toll,
And though my bills are unpaid,
And my cat needs a cage,
As he stains up my carpet with the rage of an age,
And though my daughter’s converting,
To be a Catholic sage,
What me worry? I tell you!
For I bask in God’s glory,
And the rolls on my belly,
Like Santa Cluase Jelly,
Have me rolling in laughter,
Like a jolly old pastor,
So if disaster strikes you, like it has sometimes struck me,
And you are not so pretty or handsome to see,
Rejoice, I tell you in the fat and all that,
Cause at least you’re in the game and you’re up to bat,
And don’t think that tomorrow I won’t try to walk this off,
This cellulite that causes people to scoff,
But in the end my God loves me and that is enough,
That trumps being fat and all life’s little stuff,
That trumps being saddened by the ways of an age,
Cause hey, who knows at the turn of life’s page,
I’ll be back to 180 and benching 300,
And until then I’ll smile and rub on this tire,
I’ll run and perspire, and run and perspire,
And when it’s over, it’s over, and with an ado,
I’ll go home to the Lord and so will you!
It is better,
In a letter,
To your mind unfetter:
Your claims of being a pace-setter,
And a neglected go-getter.
Better in a letter,
Your tears make wetter,
A former switch with a latter,
The slimmer present as the fatter;
Better in a letter,
To disclose that one is a waiter,
And to another his hater:
Better in a letter.
Mad as hatters, fed on matters
Older than, mercury and time,
Reflects the way we were made
By nervous webs, being spun
Deep inside Minerva's mind;
Like the way, we came of age
In misty mornings, spent reflecting
On our losses and our gains.