Best Drive Me Nuts Poems
YOU
Everything is about you
The way you talk
The way you smile
The way you laugh
The way you walk
The way your eyes can read me like a book
The way the touch of your hand can make me tingle
The way your skin against mine helps me sleep at night
But when youre not here
I cant think
I cant eat
I cant sleep
I can barely breath
I cant funtion properly
I miss you
You, just you
When youre far away
I feel like a piece of me is gone
You get me like no one else
You let me push your buttons
without exploding
I cant get to you
You have no idea how that makes me feel
Youre so different
Different
Why are you different
Why cant you be the same
Why do you make me feel this way
Why do you make me feel so
Different
Im not perfect
I cant be perfect
Im full of flaws
From my head to my toes
But so are you
I overlook them
I dont know why
I look at you and for some reason
All I see is perfect
You drive me nuts
Insane
Crazy
Irrational
Why, just why
Why do you make me feel this way
I cant explain it
I want you
but I cant have you
You dont want me
And it tears me apart
I need you
But you dont need me
How you make me feel
Is undescribable
I cant use words
Or physical movement
To show what you mean to me
In the end I know I'm a joke
You dont want me
and you never will
I sit here
and let myself suffer
Hoping you'd change your mind
But in the end it's all a joke
How can I love you
when you dont love me too
I have two teens, a boy and girl
put here to cause me pain.
They fight like cats with their only goal
to drive me quite insane.
I've done my best and raised them well,
can't say they've not been taught.
But they play the victim when they misbehave
whenever they are caught.
Those crazy teenagers roll their eyes
just to see me getting riled.
I didn't learn, I should have stopped
at having one more child.
His pants are baggy and her skirt too short
but when I add in my two cents.
When I say my peace, no matter what,
they're quick to take offense.
They must inform their friends of everything
and it all ends up in a tweet.
And when taking pictures, they're quick to post
and rarely are discreet.
A bit short on manners and often rude,
the reason God made wine.
They're bereft of knowledge and lacking wisdom,
this really saves them time.
They want fashion clothes and fancy cars,
they're pleading for more phones.
They take my money every week
saying it's a loan.
They want more stuff, they need more things,
always ready to consume.
They will never know what they have
until they clean their rooms.
I give them chores, a little work,
then I have to reprimand.
Their faces blank as they do not care
or seek to understand.
If they must have sex, please play it safe
and give your Dad a break.
Don't take this wrong, you drive me nuts,
don't repeat all my mistakes.
God loves those teens as he made so many,
he must has a sense of play.
To get me back for the things I've done
just to watch me turning gray.
So to my children who think no rules apply,
this is just my point of view.
Remember this when you have your kids...
I hope they're just like you.
The End
*For those who may be interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every couple of days.
Hello, all my fuzzy friends
Embarrassed, but I gottah tell you that cats and dogs are my buddies
Loving my family and friends...so...much
Live life to the fullest and to the best of your ability
Ohhh...what a world full of positivity and negativity...what a messed-up world
Krazy kool kats drive me nuts
Idolizing their cuteness and their noisiness
Totally tricked by their fickle ways
Trained to make an excuse that it's "one of those days"
Yeah...my pets are the best and cutest!
The way you sit and comb your hair,
with languid strokes and shoulders bare;
your gazing at the looking glass,
reveals your pedigree and class.
The way you walk with swaying hips,
the way you kiss with melting lips.
I love the way you come to bed;
it’s in your smile. No words are said.
And furthermore, as time goes by,
no mists have melted from the eye.
If truth be told, no ifs, no buts;
it’s very clear - you drive me nuts!
~
For Michael's "The Perfect Woman" Competition by Charles Clive.
I am going to write a funny poem now
All this figuring out is driving me bananas
Have you ever thought why God is so hard to figure out?
He likes to drive me nuts
I am beginning to think so
So now I don't want to do it any more
Any way the wind goes is fine with me
Comsi comsa lol
He likes to test my limits I'm beginning to think
Well this girl has a limit
And she has it
Wonder who would He bother next?
Because everything is smooth sailing here
He got it
He makes all the decisions
No input from me
That is just fine and dandy
NOT NOOOOOOOOOO
I'm doing all the cookin' and cleanin' all the floors.
The laundry still needs folding cause' I'm shoppin' at the stores.
I earn a decent salary and your cat won't let me be.
And worst of all... the local kids are making fun of me.
So give a little help and stop adding to my strife.
Or this Man is going to leave you and find another wife.
So if you're set on sittin' then I'm done with all these chores.
I say goodbye and au revoir, this puppy's out the door.
Knock. Knock
For the love of God! I'm sorry. My head is out of whack.
I'll do anything you ask, just forgive and take me back.
I'm dumber than a pole cat and as stupid as a hen.
I haven't made a good decision since I remember when.
So forgive my lack of candor but I think we're all agreed.
Given your lack of standards I'm all the man you need.
I've cleaned your car, filled the gas and turtle waxed the wheels.
Then charged your phone, paid the bills and made another meal.
The grass is cut, the hedge is trimmed and I've mended all my socks.
I washed the walls, shampooed the rug and cleaned the litter box.
I've done your nails, hemmed a skirt and pumiced both your heels.
Enough already, my wits are gone, I'm not sure what's your deal.
So I'm at my end, you drive me nuts and I'm tired of this load.
So I say goodbye, auf wiedersehen, it's time I hit the road.
Knock. Knock
For the love of God! I'm sorry. My head is out of whack.
I'll do anything you ask, just forgive and take me back.
I'm dumber than a pole cat and as stupid as a hen.
I haven't made a good decision since I remember when.
So forgive my lack of candor but I think we're all agreed.
Given your lack of standards I'm all the Man you need.
So twice a month I pack my bags and head towards the light.
But she takes me back, no questions asked, it somehow feels right.
So let the children point and laugh, I'm someone she can count on.
So excuse me now, she needs lady things and I think I have a coupon
The End
*For those who might be interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day.
Dreaming sleeplessly
I'm in a deep sleep regardless
Of what you say thotlessly
Damage the distress in progress
You sent me letters and emails
Thank you...I'd like to say Thank You
Every time I walk - five thousand fails
Thank you for not making me blue, boo
In perspective, I'm trying so hard
Yet, I'm still this pathetic bard
I feel and see music
It's so darn epic and enthusiastic
So therapeutic and exquisite like a perfect pic
Flicker the lights on and off
I guess I wasn't enuff
I suppose I like the pain ruff
Hey, be quiet, silent tears that fall from the inside
You can only see my outside
Fading like the atmosphere
The blue and grey waters of the oceanside
Leaves me with no fear,
For I am your chocolate,
Wrapped up in chandeliers of hopes...
Wrapping paper isn't that expensive
But, my love isn't cheap...
Let that sink deep
Get me a ride
By your side,
My beautiful future bride...
Subside from my side afterwards...
I see words and letters backwards...
Dyslexia does drive me nuts...
No if's, and's or but's about it...but I don't hate my guts
I'm becoming the new me
Let me be me and set me free
I'm not sure why!???
if I love you,
just because,
you make me laugh.....
or.....just because
you remind me to plug in
GPS on my way home,
so you....
don't have to worry sick to your stomach,
did I make it to my home,
Or , just
I love you....because
you have kissed me ,
like no one else will ever do.....
Why do I love you,if I do?
even though you drive me nuts,
when you say I'll call you,
and guess what,
you never do,
so ,please , don't ask me why,
I don't even know ,
and don't care to know,
but ,
I think ,it's just because ,
you,
make me laugh
like no one else before,!!!
Ivy
I’m a goofy guy and I like to eat bugs
Creepy, crawly, I think they are just so ugs
They live in corners and underneath my bed
I think they are gone but they are all up in my head
They drive me nuts and keep me up at night
I cover up because they always put up a fight
They sleep all day and come out every night
They don’t eat my food, but I still lose my appetite
The big ones are so big and nasty
When I catch them, sometimes they are so tasty
Some nights we all have ourselves a party
Wake up hung over, now they are so ugly
On the wall, just want to run, stupid little bug
Sometimes I think I just need a hug
Stupid bugs
Our bare feet have shared wet kisses with tar
Our dreams overwhelming every wound or scar
We never thought we would reach this far
Honey, I just can’t forget how we fancied a car
How we prayed perpetually before the morning star
Now that we have His blessing
You’ve become an expert in driving
You drive me nuts
You drive me mad
You drive me insane
You drive me bananas
You drive me crazy
You have forgotten our home
You just can’t drive me home!
For had you driven your heart into mine
And taken a tour through my feelings,
You would have explored a statue of feelings
Sweet, old feelings I miss from you...
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There are so many things I could rant about,
things that drive me nuts with irritation.
Sometimes I just want to scream and shout!
God help me sometimes with this generation!
Printers make it so hard to print on two sides,
What the heck is up with that renoun Dell?
Geez, why can’t all printers make it reverse inside,
I swear I’m going to create a REAL printer to sell!
Or how swear words are too easily used,
it’s so trashy to hear them over and over again.
Swearing too much doesn't make me amused,
especially when dirty words are used by women!
Come on, blaming a waitress for a bad meal?
This just happened to me at Outback yesterday.
Don’t customers take in consideration how they feel?
It could cause the poor girl to have a bad day.
You know what really frustrates me sometimes?
When I slice myself while shaving my legs like I do.
It’s a real problem and I feel it’s a terrible crime…
I could rant all day about these things…can’t you???
Rant Contest
Shadow Hamilton
May 7, 2018
Tick tock tick tock
Out window with that clock
Each and every frigging day
Tells me to get out of hay
Brushing teeth
Breath smelling so sweet
Another dam hole in sock
Oh how I hate that clock
Blue jean entire
God I'm really tired
Clean sand bugers out of eyes
In rush to say goodbye's
Gas light engine on again
This crisis is such a sin
Scrounging pockets for a buck
Pulling out lint what such luck
Morning greetings from the boss
When all I wanted to do was stay in bed and toss
Paper work piling up
No coffee to fill my cup
Tic tock tick tock
Come on hurry up dam clock
For shopping still has to be done
And let me tell you it's no fun
Kids husband dogs and cats
Drive me nuts like a pack of rats
What can one do
But not to come unglued
So I want to give a big thanks
To my alarm clock that doesn't play pranks
And gets me up and out that door
So I can pay for those things I truely adore
I've imagined it a thousand times
all the things that go with 'us'
loving him is truly sublime,
but I'm thinking so much it'll drive me nuts
he's constantly filling my head
his laugh, his voice
all other thoughts promptly leave in his stead
bound, shackled, they have no choice
our time together is of sweet bliss
the tension is astonishing,
the anticipation of the elusive kiss
of which the very thought leaves my heart pounding
with him I'm left flustered
without, he clouds my mind
a storm of him which blusters
I've imagined it a thousand times
Struggle with the loneliness
gun in my hand
Thinking of the cold steel bullet
just laying there within
Picture your face
throughout the grim, dark day
If you could see me like this
I wonder what you'd say
Thinking back of the times
and knowing you're the one who left
That's one thing to drive me nuts
one thing I can not forget
No one is around
I've looked hard and long
The streets in my heart are empty
cause everyone is gone
I could take it all away
to not take another breath
Falling so fast
without having a safety net
Feeling of the cold steel bullet
thought of you is the last I think
Into the fiery pits of hell
for eternity I shall sink
Uhh, hun how I wish I could show you how much I love you,you make me smile when I feel
like crying you make me laugh when I am down.Even though u drive me nuts that's why I love
you,you keep me on my toes which is why I love you so much.Kiss me in the rain,act like a
nut with me .Be crazy catch me when I fall.You make me feel like no one has before I just
wish I could show you.You call me beautiful which means the world.You hold me when I cry
never let go because that would hurt me way to much to stand.When you kiss me it feels
like I could fly.When you hug me don't let anyone hurt me.