Best Douche Bag Poems
You are the Evening Star glowing in the night sky;
no one can replace the radiance within you. People tell you that you are not cool,
smart, talkative, real.....making you to feel like a douche bag,
being punched right in your heart. Believe me, I've been where you were;
hurt, frustrated, and craving the gates of the afterlife. I looked
like a person from a rehab. I also felt like a tourist in a place I was born.
As seasons passed, I realized that it was I, with the key to joy. "Rivers don't ask
for permission to replenish themselves; the Sun doesn't
ask for permission to shine;
an eagle doesn't ask for permission to soar into the sky...." are words from a Zen
book, that woke up my inner fire. I started to dream positive things about me once more, and starting each day with a smile; this also changed the way
people looked at me.
You are the Evening Star glowing in the night sky;
life being the sky. Never forget that!
Categories:
douche bag, art, hope, inspirational, life,
Form:
Free verse
My soul urns for justice and it’s own freedom why is this sh** keep me awake and everything else continuously makes me break I am demonstrating my fake famous traits amazingly entertaining everyone around me they praise me by keeping my life and my name above importance’s and responsibilities. “Wow”, that’s great THANKS for your thoughts of me and about me I guess this will become a memory some day you’ll repeat this to one of your homies. I guess this is some kind of way you are showing some enemy love. Your always talking sh** about someone you don’t even know personally judge me I guess that’s all you even see or heard from some douche bag you met briefly surprised by my drama you rather be Popperazii then even worry about what’s really going on. On the local hometown news station. And really besides that I guess I keep you up at night or maybe it’s your choice in drug use???? Beats me just stay away from me please. I was board today and decided to write this just for all to see. Desperate and cold cruel is what the world turns and shows our lord what he created all of us to be why or how did you even choose this for me? I’m blessed in many ways but what is with my ex you see he’s a never ending STD which I say this cause he gave me twice. And you see he said he has never cheated on me? I know I haven’t ever had time to even pay attention to another man or woman I was always alone and waiting for him to get off work he made good money got paid every week 300 I began to find out this from his family I don’t understand why we are homeless after 8 mouths I told myself it’s time to move on I’m dumb if I stay and waste my big opportunities. He’s cheated on me and still he lied I know better cause I have proof I know I’m not perfect I have had some mistakes too but I can admit mine I’ve told him in the passed that I’ve cheated but you know he didn’t even believe me. He says I’m not a cheater! He’s right I’m not that’s why I had told him before I acted on my actions He’s a back stabber I regret being his ex and friend....
Categories:
douche bag, abuse, anger, anti bullying,
Form:
Enclosed Rhyme
You marketing types love us.
Blue all over, fear of nothing a man can throw,
Quick to bow down when the boss come by...
not the one paying me....,
but the one who rules my roost.
Day breaks looks nice,
especially because the roads aren't covered and filled with the yuppie douche bag lawyers, bankers and brokers all on phones missing the opening of the days first gift.
you know these soft handed men!
Your commercials applaud our ethic,
our muscles,
our attitudes,
our jacked up 4 X 4
Our dick swinging genuflection to manhood's blue collar ways.
Toughness is forged by the cold weather winds,
Sun baked and burned backs,
Red tipped noses from over drinking the days end the night before
while being educated at H.K.U.
Not Hong Kong University...its Hard-Knock University
We learned in fields where sweat meets will
'cuz you cant fail.
Blood and callused hands complete the job,
the well,
the pipeline,
the boat,
the building,
Grown in fields of corn,
on oil rigs surrounded by the deepest blue oceans,
as blue as the collar around the neck.
tight, knowing there is nowhere else to go
and nowhere you would rather be.
Women feel the attraction, and we see it in your eyes...
Awakening the primal sense in you. The roughnecks and dirt covered crew.
You know your manicured husband just don't have this....or could do that!
You may want a well put together,
prepared and pampered over,
buffed and polished man,
but your desire fixates on men in blue who can do it all,
from fixes of the sink,
to kissing you tender pillow top lip,
Big and small, blue collard boys do it all!
Categories:
douche bag, fun, work,
Form:
Free verse
She was tidying up the food store,
then soon a mouse appeared on a shelf.
"What a cuuuute lil thing....." she whispered.
So touched by it's white fur and pink nose,
that she called her husband from the sitting room.
He came, he saw, and searched for a baseball bat.
"I'm killing this pest!" he shouted, as he raised the bat.
His wife stood right in front of the mouse.
"If you gonna kill this cute, lil thing, you gonna pass
through me first!" she quipped.
Her husband was surprised to the core of his bone marrow,
that he sat on a stool close to him. He cupped his palms
on the bat, and lay his head on top of them.
"What are you thinking, Sweetheart?" she asked.
He looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time,
and shook his head with dismay written all over his face.
"You love that mouse, don't cha?"
Her face became red with rage.
"Ok, so you want to kill this cutie because you're jealous?!
Ha! This is unbelievable! How can you believe I love it more than
I do love you??!!"
Her husband's face had slowly turned from dismay to utter
amazement.
Noticing the look on his face, she became angrier.
"Aha! Now you are chuckling in your heart because you don't
care at all!! You are still planning how you'll kill this innocent
creature, isnt it?!?!?"
"Honey, that's a rodent, ok?"
"Now you think I don't know what a rosent is?!?! I had an A
in Biology and had a scholarship to......never mind!!
Her husband bursted out laughing.
She had a blank look on her face.
"Sweetie, let's make it a pet....."
"Why didn't you say so before!!" she screamed, as she hugged
him, while seated on the stool.
"What name will we call it?" he asked.
"Hmmmmmm....... "Tommy!"
"Wha...what?! Your ex's name?! You're not serious!!
He treated you like a douche bag, and you still call out his name?!
She was enraged once again.
"One, it's just a name. Two, I'm not a douche bag!!"
For hours they argued from one point to the other,
as the mouse helped itself out with some dried corn....
Categories:
douche bag, hilarious, humor, imagery, life,
Form:
Narrative
Hardships have hit my ego,
like a kick-boxer punching a douche bag;
my record as an artist has been compromised;
my back has been against the wall for too long.
My painting style looks clashed; different emotions
with color, interbred in a single canvas; "......if all these emotions
fit into a single person, he or she would be a psychopath!"
they scorn.
But, like a phoenix from the ashes,
I will become relevant like Da Vinci;
I will the sitting in the Hall of Fame;
just wait and see!
Categories:
douche bag, art, change, courage, faith,
Form:
Free verse
WWII has been over for 66 years &
for some reason those responsible for the production of captain america: the first avenger
think that now is a good time to bring back a douche bag
who was originally called “super american”
by his creator, joe simon
(an obviously generic label amongst all the other “super” heroes that was even too much
for the morons at marvel to run with),
& so the captain was born
because
“there weren’t a lot of captains” in comics.
originally this super american punched
hitler in the face & sold almost a million
copies when that first march 1941 issue
hit the newsstands,
capitalizing on a war fervor that was
explosive in the US before pearl harbor had
even been attacked---
super american & his sidekick “bucky” went
on to fight more nazis & the japanese until
bucky died & was replace by “betsy ross,”
the super american’s fbi agent girlfriend---
modeled on the woman who is said to have
sewn the first american flag, betsy did not revive
the dying series,
mainly because the nationalism that was burning bright
during “the great war”
had burnt out during the cold war period &
so the captain & his flag sewing girlfriend ended up
ceasing after 75 issues,
by which time the whole fiasco had been retitled
captain america’s weird tales---
such justice doesn’t happen often,
it is a shame that it took 75 issues to bring it
about.
now that this new film is about to be release out into the world,
given the state of america’s wonderful reputation
(a bit different than in 1941) as the world’s policeman
who stops at nothing to rape this planet of its natural resources,
squeezing every last drop into its own mouth,
one might wonder how the producers of this film expected to
bring in a dime---
isn’t it bad enough that bombs, troops & drones are storming into
other countries?
now we have to throw it up on the silver screen as well?
it turns out that the film’s title is to be changed for release in
russia, south korea & the ukraine
to only the first avenger.
just what exactly is this super american avenging now?
it seems that now the big
bad
boogeyman
is
us & if there was anyone to be
avenged,
it would be
those that we have stomped on,
those that we continue to stomp on &
those
who we plan on stomping on in the future.
Categories:
douche bag, lifewar, film, time, war,
Form:
Free verse
I am tired of licking people's boots;
I am tired of being stepped on like a doormat;
I am tired of being punched like a douche-bag.
No more will I turn my cheek to be sprinkled on spray,
for the sake of the show;
No more will my freedom be suffocated by your imprisoning
demands that no time can satisfy;
No more will I be your puppet dancing to every move
you make with your dark strings.
I will close my eyes, breathe in, breathe out, and let you go…….
Date: 27/11/2015
Selected Quote: Quote #4 – “Ignore those that make you fearful
And sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death” > Rumi.
Categories:
douche bag, change, identity, imagery, inspiration,
Form:
Free verse
If I was being an ass
And no reason would make up for it,
If I was acting like a douche bag
And tempers had been tested
If I was a buzzkill
And it becomes contagious
If I became a monster
And turned more miserable
Just know
That I still love you
Categories:
douche bag, sorry,
Form:
Free verse