Best Afterward Poems
My hearts been blended again
you say 'im sorry'
but i cant even begin
im not ready to forgive
haunted by your face
drawn by the memories
forced away by your hate
we dont communicate
you want nothing to do with me
when once you said i meant everything
i loved everything about you
there was nothing i would change
when i was with you you were all i thought of
you were everything i ever wanted
but now,
i cant think of you, without breaking down
i cant hate you, without loving you
at night i cry, wishing to be with you
i hurt inside, knowing you are with someone else
you said you wouldnt know what to do without me
but ive been gone for awhile
and on your face is planted a smile
you said alot of things
i believed almost everything
but now i dont trust anything
from your lips came so much
but it was just lust
now all you do is disgust
so much was said
planted in my head
i think of you as i lie in my bed
how could i have been so stupid
how did you fool me so easily
all you did was deceive
i could call you a liar
and youd call me one right back
but who knows the lies from the facts
i wanted to hold on but nothing was there
i wanted to love someone who was already gone
how can you be with somone when theyve already disappeared
how can you linger in the past knowing that youd never last
how could he be with her when once he said i was all he wanted
we are forever faded
although im still jaded
i feel as though i cant go on
i feel alone and brought down
im so insecure of myself
i hate everything about me
the only time i was happy was when i was with you
you gave me confidence
you showed me reasons to live
but now im given in
since you are gone now i have none
endless cries drive me mad
im running out of reasons to be sad
finally ive lost all will to live
ive lost all my confidence and strength
the noose has been made
the rope hung in my dismay
now where does my future lay?
Here it is again
that feeling of uncertainty
the chaos calling me
Creates a storm within
Fierce and heavy
No god to blame
the entire weight
of my solitary condition
collapses me
My doing
My burden
Her hands were dirty
Stained with black ink
Eyes wide, deep, brown
Her name I do not know
Fingers bare
No commitments
She seemed so beautiful
the perfect amount of imperfection
I keep this feeling
Like any other
Inside, guarded
Afterward
I walked away
Alone
I always fail
at social situations
No friends
the world is lonely
She barely notices me
probably just enough
to see I am nothing
I'm sick of solitude
In need of someone
Something....
Ahhhhh!!
a cry of pure frustration
Longing for it
Wanting it so desperately
Feeling, fearing
impossibility
See Dick run, in the golden latterly years,
When past is gone, the future premieres.
Jane is a librarian, in the floral ruby days,
Sally is a teacher, in the tangerine phase.
Puff pursues orange butterflies in heaven,
And he and Spot frolic, in sunshine lemon.
Mother and Father reside in assisted living,
Where the blue jay to the moon is singing.
Seen from the bruised sheets
the two open mouths of her shoes
(one face down and drunk
the other lopsidedly agape)
speak to him in groans and murmurs.
Her face smudges the glass
in the bathroom mirror;
she is squeezed into a jar of light.
Headlights strafe the curtains.
Her dress still clings
to the oily surface
of a hump-backed chair.
Her bright red plastic pocketbook
under its legs, dull now
in the dawn glimmer.
He hears waves crash
in an empty wine bottle.
She walks back into the room
her white slip dips into hips.
She is looking through walls
all the way to a small grave.
While she slept
her body dreamt of this
the night rowed her there
on a black tide.
Now on lights shoreline
she will not look at him.
She leaves quickly
before empty words
founder them both.
The language of our elders
whispers soft upon our skin.
We see it in the landscape of our lives.
Trees dance to it.
They pull the soul of life
from out the earth.
We will say the flowers grow.
We will say the winds blow.
But the truest words of our language
are the ones that we forget to know.
When we speak to our children
it is from the echoes that we hear.
Those soft sunbeams of birth
upon canyon walls.
Those fierce winds that bellow
down the halls of our lost heritage.
We are the nature
we feel separated from.
The wind is our spirit,
without the burden of time.
The sun was our vision
before we could see to rhyme.
We will always be together
in the heartbeat that is God,
and I will be upon your skin as sunshine
and I will be upon your breath as air
and we will dance upon the earth
to the music of languages
born before our lives were here.