Best Aarp Poems

AARP
Take me off your mailing list immediately.
How many times do you have to be told?
I don't like being constantly reminded that I'm officially old.

AARP -...

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the joy 
                      ...

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Happy Birthday, Son!
on your 50th year.
Celebrate while you can
and be of good cheer. 

Son, don't be alarmed
as the years seem to fly by.
just five more...

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PEE WEE HERMAN
Thought cops wouldn’t determine,
he put himself in that popcorn box.
Maybe he should have used his socks.

HOWARD HUGHES
A world famous recluse.
Millions for planes, women...

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Cooped within ancient bodies, this inhabitant 
dwells amongst an elder net 
of crabby, crotchety, curmudgeonly claque 
of old folks, only a portion of population I...

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Those damn old people with their applesauce, and need for retirement
I giggle at the sizes adult diapers come in,
They haven't worked hard enough for me...

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I'VE COME OF AGE

 

July 22nd 1947 to July 22nd 2012

I have come of age today

sixty-five years old,

I am of the age for Social Security,

or...

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Once an alien with eyes like LASER
Greeted me with a green TASER
He told me he was registered as a WASP 
And after retirement would join...

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Yikes, aside from mental
     health re: psychotherapy,
     which haint the worse
cyst phase of being
   ...

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Congratulations! You've now lived
a full half-century.
I'll bet you're asking, "What's in store?
What changes will I see?"

As one well past her fiftieth,
I know a thing or...

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This morning Joe got up to get ready for bed,
Wife poured his coffee and toast over his head
He put on his pajamas with a favorite...

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To my lovely wife (who has a great sense of humor)

Turning 50
You may think is nifty
But truth be told
It means you’re quite old

You may have...

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ON TURNING FIFTY

As my cousin turned fifty there was talk of AARP.

Two years behind Danny, I ask the million dollar question:

“What is AARP?” – “Oh...

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It's not a prerequisite, of course, but if a piece of writing is any good, chances are it's probably offensive to someone. (Paraphrasing John Irving-A...

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Another sweet note from the A.A.R.P.
Seems those folks want to insure me
I’m worth only the most limited liability
But eligible for their lowest monthly fee
They say...

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