Picked up Jane and we're walking to the balcony,
and shown where we'll be sitting as the crowds mose-in,
and there's some excitement 'neath the floor we had left,
sparked favored light applause from one estranged bereft,
we're bemused fetching about well anchored split views,
what fabled then hath waned onto a seasick cruise,
be no mistake of it with drinks, friends do what's best,
hotel days reminisce thanks to Clint' absent guest,
as they all three turned out as definite no show,
with the place still hoping Jane decided to go,
particularly since she got to go to work that night,
lead's A.M. show and luncheon, I'd sleep on-site.
Jane is a night auditor, a night accountant,
close a hotels daily in and out dependent.
Pebble Beach Lodge is a five-star golf course hotel,
be rooms, restaurants, banquets and bars, is the nutshell,
spas, saunas, massage, yoga, thereapeutic and
salons, horseback riding class, pool concession stand,
and yes, golfing lessons as par for the course, please,
they're not free as they're taught by legends--like their fees.
... home tomorrow ...
Categories:
auditor, analogy,
Form: Rhyme
When you deal with your mother
You touch her like a feather
When you move with your father
Be kind, make him not bother
Let association with your brother
Cause not any kind of bad weather
Your relation with your sister
Must not cause serious blister
You show reverence to priest
And pray to Sun in the East
Depend greatly upon your friend
But, let not your good nature end
Please protect your servant-maid
By arranging for her timely aid
Take care of your watchman
By chalking out a safety plan
Pay kindness to your neighbor
Toward him, no ill-will you harbor
Have full trust in your banker
As he makes prosperity occur
Be considerate to your lawyer
As he saves you from fire
Tell the whole truth to your auditor
Or else law becomes an alligator
Always kindly respect the police
Your problems they will ease
Carefully listen to your teacher
And miss not his golden lecture
With a vendor wage never a war
Depending upon him we all are
Never make anyone your enemy
Believe in my words and trust me.
Categories:
auditor, best friend, brother, dad,
Form: Couplet
To tell or not to tell
that is the question.
If it is better
to take up arms
against tycoons
siphoning blood
from pension funds
or to endure
the wrath of numbers
set on arguing:
To thyself be true
two and two is four
without added
000,000,000,000
Santa Claus bonuses!
Ignoramus adding fives
subtracting nines
to cover up crimes.
Shredding numbers
into the trash
hiding cash,
Pulling number
out of the hat.
Three and three is nine?
Poor numbers
bare to the bones
as unequivocal in truth
as in lying
unlimited by culture
undiminished by time
universal and immortal
can’t be minced
sweetened or doubled
to camouflage a lie.
Ah, if words were like numbers!
Would I be a writer?
First Place Winner in Oliver Mckeithan Contest: The Bard's Birthday-4/28/25
Categories:
auditor, funny,
Form: Free verse
Inner eye now keenly observes obscure corners. There’s
No fooling this steely auditor.
Truths smothered should now be spoken. No more of those
Rhetoric excuses and aspersions.
Out in the open with guilt and confession. I can’t
Shy away anymore from my vices and quirks.
Purging my innards of external stimuli while I
Explain my actions wrapped in a cocoon of myself.
Controlling my mind from wandering distant valleys and oceans, I’m simply
Trusting the unbiased principles imbibed in childhood to be my guide.
Ignoring the urge to cheat and pass with flying colors this
One moral exam I inflict on myself to
Nurture and cleanse my soul.
Written on 06/23/206
Categories:
auditor, introspection,
Form: Acrostic
Citizens, rise as one and rejoice,
Taxmas is come, though not by your choice.
April fifteenth, a date so sublime,
great meaning in the term, tax deadline.
Break out the pencils, erasers and paper,
it’s time for another financial caper.
Dust off that box of moldy receipts,
every year your tax routine repeats.
Set aside ethics, social obligation,
it’s time to answer the call of your nation.
Dig deep with a true spirited heart,
each man for himself right from the start.
Bring forth those fictional charity donations,
this is a time for heightened imaginations.
Donations for beer runs surely are fine,
but dollars to strippers may cross the line.
Deductions, exemptions in grand display,
try changing the numbers in every way.
Remember, the IRS is your closest friend,
they will be right by your side to the bitter end.
Fill out the tax form in clearest black ink,
every space filled with whatever you think.
Break out the checkbook; then send your check in,
pray no auditor discovers your sin.
Robert Gene Stoner Jr ©
2/10/16
Categories:
auditor, fun, poetry,
Form: Rhyme
The laws of life
audited and penned by life itself
laws, like giving
must, be balanced
by it's receiving end
The laws of taking
is rated by the replacing
as with light is with darkness
or the moon with gravity
and restful activity
The laws of goodness
to be pitted against that of evil
and vanity to be beaten
by humility's bended knees
as pride takes it's fall
The laws of love
will and always overcome hate
and leaves prejudice
with biasness to fumble
at the bottom of the golden gate
It is the laws of the God of all
that cannot be ignored
For the books of life
will be balanced
by the Almighty Auditor Himself
Categories:
auditor, philosophy, prejudice,
Form: Free verse
Acrid thoughts flow from this observer’s savaged mind,
permutations monitored by the auditor
infestation serviced by worldly parasites,
chromatic skin quivers in the shimmering haze
nicotine stained dentine reflex the noon sunlight,
while recorded historic slaughter highlighted.
Redundant talons clasp at a life just stolen
the fallen, amongst the trodden eglantine lay,
proving yet again man the perfect eraser;
yet a deathly silence impales the aftermath
infected only by cries of fidelity,
ghostly images belying their earthly tack,
genetic torment dipped into another’s hate,
alas no chance to make amends for ancient ways!
© Harry J Horsman 2013
Categories:
auditor, angst, death, depression,
Form: Free verse
We have made our God eternal,
World without end; Amen.
Whose emissary waits forever,
On the other side of the door.
Moses, Mohammad, Buddha, Christ Jesus,
Pull a Clinton and define eternal.
The most frightening eternal spectre known,
Heaven Bless the poor who attract his attention
The auditor of the IRS....He waits for you.
Forever.
Written for the Eternal Figure contest.
Categories:
auditor, philosophy
Form: Free verse