New Year’s Resolutions
By Rick Rucker
This year, instead of cutting fat,
I think I’m going to aerobicize my cat,
When I hear the revelers’ sounds,
I can be happy for her lost pounds.
I think this might become a craze,
Sweep the nation in a few days!
No more loss, and privation,
Finally, a happy, guilt free nation!
Sort of like a whipping boy,
Him with suffering, you with JOY!
I’m going to have to look around,
What can I take from my hound?
Something will occur to me,
This year, a better dog he’ll be!
People are funny when you deprive your kids,
Boy, they really flip their lids!
I guess I’ll have to stick to pets,
They seem, by far, the safer bets!